


Runaways

by anothernightmare



Category: All Time Low (Band), Bring Me The Horizon, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, Twenty One Pilots, You Me At Six
Genre: 2000s, 2007, Apsec Identities, Aromantic, Arsonist, Asexual, Asexual Character, Coming Out, Emo, Established Relationship, Found Family, Jalex - Freeform, Kelliver, Koli, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Polyamory, Questioning, Running Away, SO BEAR WITH ME OK i like shipping random band members together, Self-Discovery, a lot of random crack ships that do not make sense in theory but do in this fic, and platonic joshler :) semiplatonic i guess, gender non-conforming, queer, scene, teenagers in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 38
Words: 84,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22863304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anothernightmare/pseuds/anothernightmare
Summary: Two overdramatic emo teens who run away from home, four queer college kids living together in the same apartment, and a city arsonist.
Relationships: Alex Gaskarth/Tyler Joseph, Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth/Josh Franceschi/Vic Fuentes, Josh Dun/Vic Fuentes, Josh Franceschi/Alex Gaskarth, Kellin Quinn/Oliver Sykes
Kudos: 5





	1. ♥1♥

During the fall of 2006, my eyes were always fixated on the new kid in my year. I was completely enamored at the way his raven black hair fell over his blue-green eyes so effortlessly. He was a walking piece of art.

A few weeks into first semester, I mustered up the courage to write him a poem on loose leaf paper in pink glitter ink. I hoped that he'd like it, it looked the same as his favorite nail polish. It wasn't until I got to his locker to slip the paper into did I realize I had planned my timing wrong.

Kellin was right there in all his glory, looking right at me, wide eyed and all confused. "What are you doing here?" He asked. All I could do was shuffle in place in a panic. With shaking hands, I handed the poem over to him and ran away.

"Oli!" He called out. I couldn't turn back, I was so embarrassed. I can't believe I did that, I regret everything. I'm so stupid... so, so stupid.

I rushed to the bathroom, pushing away the boys conversating amongst themselves. I knew I was irritating them with my mere existence, but I needed to find somewhere to be alone. And fast.

I ran into the first stall I saw, my heart racing and aching. I recognized that feeling, it was shattering to pieces. I started to cry, tears pouring down my face and-

"Oh my god." Kellin exclaimed. "You were being so dramatic! I would have fallen for you anyways if you just started a normal conversation with me," He put down his eyeliner pencil and turned towards me. The smile on his face was to mock me, but damn, he looked so cute.

"I know! I know. But I was just a little nervous."

"A little?"

"Okay," I fell over backwards on my bed and rested on a pillow. "I was very nervous."

"You were a scaredy-cat!" Kellin hopped on the bed and crawled towards my body, positioning his knees beside my hips. It's been about seven months since we started dating, but he still manages to get me all flustered. "You were intimidating."

"Intimidating, hm?" He cupped my jaw with his hand and brought my face closer to him in an oh so gentle fashion. I sat up and then collided our lips together. Kellin silently squeaked in surprise, kissing me back graciously.

Everything felt magical until there was a knock on the front door. Dammit, can't I get a second alone with my boyfriend? We quickly pushed each other away and moved to an unsuspecting distance from each other. At least my dad has the audacity to knock first before barging in. "Come in."

He opened the door with a phone to his ear. "Kellin." He said. He perked his head up to listen to whatever my dad was about to say. "Your mom's almost here to pick you up, get your things."

"Okay, Mr. Sykes. I'll be down in a minute."

He responded with a simple nod. Then, he closed the door. Kellin and I looked at each other with sad looks on our faces. Without saying anything, he got up and collected the CDs he brought here and his makeup bag.

"I hate having to come home." He muttered. "I could hide you under my bed and pretend you already left." I suggested. That earned a laugh from him. "Nah. My parents would go batshit when they notice I'm not home." He picked up his bobby pins from the dresser and went over to kiss me.

"I'll walk you downstairs." I stood up and put my arm around his waist before I realized what I had done and put it down immediately.

We went over to the front door together, noticing the light entering the living room through the window from his mom's car lights. "Have a nice day, Kellin. Heard you're turning sixteen in a couple days, that's a big step." Dad humored. He didn't respond, he only nodded and gave him a little lip-smile.

"Bye,"

"Goodbye." He replied with such a quiet voice I almost didn't hear him. He went outside and the moment he closed the door behind himself my father groaned. "Oliver, I don't like how much time you're spending with that boy."

Jesus Christ, not this shit again. I don't understand his problem with Kellin. He's never hurt me, and he only treated him with kindness. What makes him so hostile towards him? "What's the issue?" I groaned, irritated.

"'What's the issue?' Oliver, I don't want the kid turning you into a fuckin' poof."

Oh. No fucking way, he was not talking to my boyfriend like that. I haven't told him about our relationship, let alone mine or his sexuality. I've been so close to telling him, almost impulsively running towards him to say, "Dad! I have a boyfriend!"

Then, he would always give me a reason not to say anything about the two of us. He'd see a celebrity coming out in the news and he'd make a comment about how some things are better off 'left unsaid' and 'shouldn't be shown to impressionable children.'

It doesn't matter. I don't owe him that kind of information when I knew that he was going to give me shit for it. No doubt he'd call me a 'faggot' or whatever, which at this point didn't even bother me. I already get words like that thrown around towards me due to the way I present myself.

"Dad, he's not going to turn me into a – ugh. He's not even... gay." Lying about his identity made me feel bad, but once I explain why to him, he'd understand. "I don't believe that shit, he wears makeup, and don't even get me started on that girly voice of his."

At this point, I felt my blood boiling. "He's even influencing you." Dad gestured towards my outfit. Tight, black skinny jeans, a pink and white striped shirt, and all black converse. "I've always dressed like this. It doesn't make me gay." I crossed my arms and faced away from him. "I sure hope you're just going through a weird phase." He muttered.

"Ugh, Dad! It's not a phase, this is just who I am. I dress how I want."

"Yeah, that's what all the cool guys wear nowadays? They shop from the women's section and grow their hair?" He laughed to himself, turned towards the TV and continuing on with his show. "Not funny, dad."

"You know I'm just joking, son." He tried passing his rampant homophobia off as a joke, but I knew if I wasn't his son he'd spit on me if I were to pass by him on the street.

I groaned. "You're so annoying." I murmured under my breath rather impulsively. "What did you just say to me?" Dad suddenly snapped, getting out of his chair and rushing towards me. "Listen, I moved to another country for better job opportunities to give you and Tom a bright future. I didn't raise you two by myself only for you to end up an ungrateful brat!"

I winced at his tone, instinctively backing away from him. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so fucked, fuck!

"I'm sorry, Dad." I whimpered. Tears started to form at the corners of my eyes as my body shuddered. "What are you, crying? Pathetic." His words only encouraged my tears to flow down my cheeks. I felt so miniscule, like a disappointment.

"You fuckin' girl." What I didn't expect was for my father to backhand me on the cheek. I gasped. How could he do that to me? I hated it here. I hated him and I wanted to run away, far from anything I had ever known. Now.

Dad noticed the mistake he had just done, putting a hand over his mouth and stepping back. A lump formed in my throat before a stream of tears fell down my face and onto the white carpet. I began to sob uncontrollably, putting my face in my hands. I was ashamed of myself. I cried over every little thing, why am I such a fuckin' softie?

I needed to man up. Just like how Dad tells me to do. "Oliver, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I was just angry-" He moved his hand towards me to wipe the tears off my face, but I smacked it away. "Get away from me!"

"I didn't mean-"

"Go away!" Instead of waiting for him to listen to me, I just ran upstairs and made a beeline to the office.

I locked the door behind me and sat in the chair, turning on the desktop computer. There were papers and files scattered across the desk, all of which I pushed away to create a clean space in front of me. A little jingle played when I got to the front screen. After clicking on my profile and inserting the password I was met with the internet already open. Oh.

I rushed to Myspace to message Kellin. Ever since we met, most our free time apart was spent messaging each other on the internet until my dad or little brother will nag me about how it was their turn on the computer.

Turns out he had already messaged me just a few seconds ago. There were a few other messages in my inbox, praising some of the poetry and covers I've posted. It felt so nice to have that strike of validation after all the shit that just went down just mere moments ago.

I responded to Kellin's messages before bothering with any of the others.

_**sirens666:** miss u already baby :3_

_**olisyko:** miss u too. just got in an argument with my dad :-(_

_**sirens666:** what! what happened. ill kill him_

_**olisyko:** nothing. just being a homophobic asshole thats all.... i hate him. so much. i want u here with me_

_**sirens666:** i want to be with u too...._

_**sirens666:** i have an idea_

_**olisyko:** yea?_

_**sirens666:** ill sneak to ur house at midnight tonight and ill leave by morning_

_**sirens666:** hows that sound?_

_**olisyko:** u wont get in trouble?_

_**sirens666:** no im tiny so im hard to spot in the night. ur house isnt too far from mine_

_**olisyko:** well then, id love that. and we can do anything we want then ;-)_

_**sirens666:** anything ;) like dance to fob together!!!! and hold hands <3 AND KISS_

_**olisyko:** yea tht was what i was bout to say! ill see u then_

_**sirens666:** its a date!!!! i have to go do some chores n take off my makeup before my dad gets home so see at midnight!!_

I was just a few letters away from replying 'I love you' to his last message, but I decided to hold it off. We haven't said those three little words together yet, deciding that it should be saved for a special day.

_**olisyko:** see u then bby boy_

_**sirens666:** awww x3 <3 bye_

I sighed in happiness and anticipation, only thinking about holding him in my arms tonight as loud, angry music playing through the speakers of my CD player.

Perfect. Everything would feel so perfect.

All the sudden, there was a sudden pounding on the door. I quickly exited all tabs and logged out of my profile. "Yeah?"

"Oli..." It was Dad. Go away, leave me alone. "I know I hurt you, but that doesn't mean you can lock me out. Open the door. We need to talk and have a personal father-son conversation."

Ugh. I got up from my chair and opened the door. "Hey, son."

I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and a strong glare. I thought it'd help stand my ground. Then, I walked off and went into my room without saying a word to him. I wasn't going to talk to him, and I wasn't sure if I was going to be in a while.

I threw off my shirt and shoes, put in a CD into the player and hopped onto my bed, resting my head back to let the screams and instrumental cloud my thoughts.


	2. ♥2♥

The black coffee I had been drinking was almost done within minutes after I poured my cup. I hated the taste of black coffee, but I still drank it for the caffeine, and maybe partially to seem cool. I would never admit it, but I can only drink it when it has sugar, milk, and caramel in it.

My father hasn't disturbed my room since I walked away from him so spitefully hours ago, which I was grateful for. The past few times something like this had happened, he would not leave me alone until I assured him that I forgave him. I would say I do when I was really lying.

When it was midnight, I was writing lyrics in my notebook. I've gotten so lost in my writing I didn't even notice the tapping on my window. It was pouring hard outside, loud thunder roaring through the town. Seeing Kellin through my window caught me off-guard.

I rushed to the window and opened it immediately. "You could've just gone through the front door!"

He just smiled at me, stripping off his coat and putting it on the back of my desk chair. "I thought it'd be more romantic if I climbed to the roof."

"Kells... no." I said, shaking my head side to side, fetching the shirt I threw off earlier to dry his hair from the rainwater. "At least I tried."

"Yeah, _tried_. You could've gotten a cold, love!"

"If I did get a cold, you'd take care of me, right?" He sat on my bed and crossed his legs all sassily. Goodness gracious. "Any time, you know that."

"Of course, I know." He held my chin and lured me towards his face to kiss him. That wonderful feeling of tender warmth filled my body, naturally my tongue began to slip into his mouth, my hands pushing him backward.

"Wait." He pushed me away. "I want to get back to what we were doing. Lay on the bed." You'd expect a dark, lustful look in his eyes, but no. He still looked as bright and soft as ever. "You think you can just tell me what to do-"

"I think I can. Do it. So we can get into the same position we were earlier."

He's right, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to do whatever he says. I saw a grin of satisfaction on his face once he got the opportunity to climb on top of me again, afterwards happily nipping at my neck. "You're so beautiful." He said to me, brushing off the strands of straightened, dyed black hair over my right eye.

My cheeks turned hot from blushing and heat pooled into my lower abdomen. I put my hands on his hips and moved them downwards. Kellin was alarmed and gently took my wrists, getting my hands off his body, intertwining our fingers instead.

"Not tonight, Oli." He spoke lowly. I was so confused, he never seems to be in the mood. "It's been months and we haven't even done as much as fool around."

"I'm just – uh, I don't know. I just think we should wait for a special moment until we have sex. Maybe we should wait till marriage? Or something?" Now Kellin's just pulling words and reasons out of his mind from nowhere. "You don't even, like, partake in the purity stuff."

He climbed off me and decided to lay beside my body, putting his hand on my chest and cradling his face into my neck. "I know. I'm so, so sorry. But, I just feel like I'd rather cuddle with you instead of have sex sometimes, you know?"

There was something sweet about that. I hoped we would be able to share that kind of intimacy someday, but for now, just cuddling and kissing him will always be just as amazing. "Just respect my boundaries."

"I wouldn't imagine doing anything that could hurt you." I felt Kellin smile into my neck after I said that. "Aw, I have the sweetest boyfriend ever." I disagree, I'm sure I'm the one with that award.

We both laid there in silence for a few minutes, somehow managing to get closer with every second. "I literally think I'm never going to get up. I'm so comfy..."

"Me neither." I replied. "But I'm gonna end up havin' to push you off me 'cause I don't want you getting yelled at by your parents for not being home." Kellin pulled his head away from my neck to chuckle.

"I wish I could just live with you." He told me. "We're mostly just together during school."

"We can't even hold hands at school." My voice went low. I felt him press his forehead against mine and the tips of our noses touched. We had a silent moment of subtle closeness that moment. Suddenly, he sat up and smiled at me. "Well, fuck it. Why shouldn't we?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, fuck what everyone at school thinks about us. We're together, we're in love. That can't stop us from showing our affection for each other!" He spoke so passionately, like the thought of showing me off to everyone at school made him so happy.

I didn't respond with the same energy. "I don't know. I'm just... scared. The kids who are out as gay at school get bullied relentlessly."

"You don't get anything out of fear, Oli." He took one of my hands in his and pecked my lips. He almost convinced me just from the way he smiled and how happy he sounded. But I couldn't do that, I can't go through anything worse than I already do.

"No, Kellin."

"No? Are you kidding, we been together since fo-" Someone suddenly began harshly knocking on my bedroom door, causing both of us to jump. "Shit."

"Here, hide." I whispered, pulling up the blanket for Kellin to sink lower to where he wasn't visible. "He wouldn't yell at me for being here for anything."

"Just hide yourself, Kellin." I sounded irritated, but I was really just panicking. He rolled his eyes and hid under the covers, laying against my legs. I sat up on the bed and called my dad to come in.

He creaked open the door, revealing him in pajama pants and a grey shirt with a hole on the shoulder. "Oliver? Is everything alright in here? I heard shouting."

"It was, um, it was just the music." I smiled at him in the most fake way possible. "You're not playing anything."

"I just turned it off." He obviously knew that I was lying, but he didn't push it. He looked down at the ground and sighed. It seemed like he was about to say something and decided to save it for another time. "Oliver, remember that I love you. Okay?"

Ugh. He's not going to make me say it back, was he? "Okay, Dad. Goodnight." I responded.

"Night," With that, he closed the door. You could hear the floorboards creaking with his footsteps. I pulled up the covers to reveal Kellin once again. He looked at me with his big, doll-like eyes and rested his head on my upper thigh.

"I really don't think he would've been mad that I'm here." He crawled up to exit from under the sheets and sat up. "Earlier today he told me, uh." It made me angry just thinking about the way he talked about Kellin.

"That he didn't like you around me 'cause he thinks you'll turn me into a 'poof'" Kellin raised his eyebrows at me and laughed. "A poof? What?"

"Yeah! He thinks you'll turn me gay or something." I laughed with him. That's just not how sexuality works. You don't turn into anything, you only discover new parts of yourself you didn't know before. "Little does he know you're already just as gay as me."

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my jaw. He's so obsessed with kissing me all over. When our laughs died down, I felt myself get serious. "That's the thing though. He's not the only one who says shit like that, I..." My voice trailed off when Kellin's eyes met mine, their natural sparkle seemed to have vanished.

"Don't you want to show me off?" He giggled, tucking his bangs behind his ear. "I don't think we should be seen together like that, you know?"

"What? Are you fucking serious, Oli?"

My heart jumped from his sudden change in tone. I've never experienced him this angry before. It was scaring the shit out of me already. "Kellin-"

"So, I should just be kept a secret?" He seemed to have lowered his tone, but it remained stern and aggressive. I looked around the room, unable to retain eye contact with him. My gut started to churn. "I just - I don't want to be seen like... that."

His stare was piercing into my soul, it made my heart break with every second. But I didn't say anything. I couldn't get the words out. "You're ashamed of me..."

I couldn't believe my own ears. How could Kellin possibly think that I would ever be ashamed of him? I loved him, and I know I wasn't going to say it out loud for a while, but I loved him so much and I couldn't ever be ashamed of loving someone like him.

"Baby, no-" I put my hand on his, but he just swiped it away from me in one swift motion. His mere reaction cut through me like a knife. "Don't touch me." His voice cracked. "Kells, I didn't mean..."

It was too late, he was already grabbing his coat and heading towards the window, opening it to let the heavy rain fall in and wet the carpet. "Don't go!"

"I can't even talk to you right now, you don't love me!" He croaked out through tears. Tears. He was crying, his eyes becoming glossy through them and the area around them gone red and puffy. I begun to tear up myself.

"That's not true, Kellin! You know that I..."

"If you did, you would've thought I was worth everything. You wouldn't be ashamed of me!" He hopped through the window and slid down the roof. I rushed to it watching him jump into the grass in the pouring rain. Lightning illuminated the sky and the trees of the forest he began to walk off into.

"Kellin!" I called out. He didn't even turn back. "Come back, please! I didn't mean anything I said, I didn't mean..." My voice broke, I gone to the point where I could barely say anything. It was almost as if my vocal chords had decided I wasn't worthy of speaking to him anymore.

I wasn't going to let him get away, I couldn't. I needed to prove to him that I did in fact believe he was worth everything. That I could never be ashamed of him and that I'm willing to leave everything behind for him.

He'd do the same for me.

I hopped out the window, shirtless and wearing no shoes. I jumped onto the grass, falling over and getting mud all over my jeans. That wasn't something I could let stop me, he was getting further and further away.

I started to run, carefully and quickly. I couldn't afford to fall onto the ground. Again. "Kellin!" I called out his name one more time, and he finally looked back. "Oli?"

At that point, I was running with no bounds, almost toppling on top of him. The rain was falling on the both of us, soaking our hair, clothes, and faces. The moonlight shone through the trees, creating shadows of branches and leaves on Kellin's face. On the patches of light, you could see raindrops dripping from his hair and his chin.

He gazed at me, shocked. "You came back for me?" He spoke at an above moderate voice, talking over the loud winds and rustles of the trees. A strong breeze blew through my hair, making it swoosh with its direction. The cold of it sent shivers down my spine.

All I did was nod at him. "I could never be ashamed of you." I grabbed both his hands, our bodies becoming parallel to each other. "You're my soulmate."

Even through the raindrops on his face, you could tell that he was crying even heavier than he was before. "But you said-"

"Screw everything I said. I would anything for you, I'd even throw my whole life away for you, Kells!" My voice rose in passion, I felt my heart beat quicker, the thunder intensifying the emotions going through me.

Kellin took a step closer. "Then run away with me." He responded with the same amount of passion. I froze in place. He wanted me to run away with him? "Kellin... we..." Running away with him was something I never thought I'd dream of. Yet, it was a dream I wouldn't mind coming true.

"You said you'd throw everything away for me." His voice cracked in the middle of his sentence. "That's all I ever wanted!" I pulled him closer. "But, I'm not sure about running away..."

"Why not? You and I both know the lives we live aren't the ones that make us happy."

It's true. I've felt so contained in the house I reside in, I never felt so oppressed as I was in my family. Kellin doesn't feel like he has any freedom to truly express himself around his relatives. The both of us has felt like we lived in a shell. We both get shit on constantly just for the way we look.

"I'm scared." I couldn't think of anything else to say, because those two words were enough to explain everything. I was scared. I don't know what life would be like outside of everything I had known the past few years.

Kellin smiled at me, roughly pulling me closer. He pressed his wet lips onto my own. His soaked hair pressed against my cheek. It was a short kiss, but it matched no other we had. Something about it felt like a fresh new start.

"You don't get anything out of fear." Was all he replied with. That sentence was all he needed to convince me. "Yeah." I smiled. "Let's do it. Together."

He squealed and hopped onto me, his legs wrapped around my waist and arms around my neck. I nearly fell backwards onto the ground, having to hold Kellin up by the bottom in order to steady myself. "I can't wait!" He murmured into my mouth then kissed me.

The whole kiss was sloppy and imperfect due to how we kept smiling after each peck. Ultimately, we both ending up falling onto the muddy ground. The both of us were laughing so hard, the tears coming out of our eyes were out of joy rather than the sadness we held just a few moments before.

"I need to go." Kellin told, standing up. No way he's leaving, not after all this. "Are you changing your mind already?" I got up from the ground and grabbed his wrist gently. "Not at all, I need to go home and plan out everything I'm going to be bringing and where we'll go."

"We can plan together?" I replied. I found myself looking around all confused. "I think I'm the better planner." He pecked my lips before taking steps back away from me. "We leave tomorrow at midnight. Get food, water, money, clothes, and basically everything you think we'll be needing to live."

Is he crazy? We're not going through with the plan that fast, this is all too sudden! "Are you serious?"

"Duh, I'm serious! I'll tell you about the full plan tomorrow! See you at school!"

With that, he rushed off, running through the trees. He was gone from my sight in less than a minute.

What a boy.


	3. ♥3♥

My shirt was roughly grabbed when I was walking calmly through the halls in school. I squeaked, afraid that someone was going to attack me or something. It ended up only being Kellin.

"You scared the shit out of me!"

"You're not allowed to swear so loud in school. I'm just talking to you about the plan." Kellin scanned his surroundings as if anyone was listening in on our totally top-secret mission. He took my hand, which made me wince for a moment. I almost began to worry about whether or not people were watching, but what he had said played in my head like a mantra. 'You get nothing out of fear.'

He ended up bringing me to the corner beside an emergency exit. "We're going to the city upstate." He suggested. I knit his eyebrows at him. "Are you against it? I think it's a _fabulous_ city. Beautiful sceneries and – ah." Kellin looked up at the ceiling, shuffling through images of a possible life him and I could live there.

I always found it to be a beautiful place as well. I heard the music scene there was booming and that it was rather diverse with all different kinds of people. Imagine living a world like that, where everyone is different instead of the boring town we live in.

"Wait, that's two hours away, how are we gonna get there?" I started to shake my head. Kellin just smirked at me like he had a devious plan. "No, are you really gonna tell me to..."

"I am, you're going to be the one driving." He poked my chest when I gasped. "Nuh-uh. That's a long journey, I could crash the car. You have zero idea."

"Well, you're the one with a driver's license." Oh, yeah. He's right. Dammit. "So, that means it has to be you and not me! Ha."

I stuck my bottom lip out at him. "Don't get all emo." Kellin pinched my left cheek. "You're the one to judge. How are we even going to get a car?"

"Well, I just thought you'd steal one from your dad or something." Is he crazy? I'm not going to steal a car from my dad!

Well, now that I think about it, taking his car doesn't seem like that bad of an idea. He told me he'd buy me a car soon, and if he could afford one for me, and can afford a new one for himself.

If he can't then... oh well. Kellin and I are going through with this plan if it's the last thing we do. "Alright." I replied. The tardy bell rang, I didn't even notice that the halls had gone empty.

Even though I don't care all too much, I still panicked. "We need to go now, we're late for class."

"Why does it matter? It's not like we're gonna to be going to school again." Kellin chuckled. "Right." That's a huge bonus, we're not going to have to go to school when we run off to somewhere miles away.

"See you later, sweetie." Kellin pecked my lips. "Bye, baby boy." I replied. His cheeks went a light shade of pink. I knew how much that pet name got him all flustered, it's the main reason I began using it in the first place.

Then, we went off our separate ways.

💀💀💀

Kellin would be here in thirty minutes. He messaged me about how he would be bringing blankets, food, clothes, and a ton of cash that he stole from his parent's stash. His family was loaded, even though they didn't express it.

I was painting black dye on the roots of my hair. The chestnut brown of its natural color was starting to peek out, which was just unacceptable. I hated how my natural hair color just had to be brown, why couldn't it be a natural black like every other emo boy see online, sometimes I feel like I'm not cute or cool as all the others.

I looked at the bottle of hair dye and decided to stuff it into my black Jansport backpack, which I've decorated with pins and patches. While searching for money, I've discovered a stash of five thousand dollars, and damn, I didn't know that my dad was keeping that kind of money hidden!

But, I felt too bad taking all of it. I was already taking his car, so I chose to only take about five hundred. Knowing Kellin, he wouldn't be scared of raiding his parent's entire bank account, so surely he's gotten more than enough.

I shoved an already filled reusable water bottle into it along with snacks, my other pair of black skinny jeans, a few band tees and striped long sleeve shirts, and in the smaller pockets were sunscreen and sunglasses, a hair comb, dry shampoo, an extra pair of shoes, and some makeup items I used from time to time.

My Nokia buzzed in my pocket, the name showing on the screen read 'Kells.'

He started talking loudly in my ear the moment I answered it. "Hi, sweetie! I'm on my way, I have blankets, an umbrella, about six thousand dollars-" Six freakin' thousand? "-Don't worry, a quarter of it is birthday money from years ago. And my iPod! So we can listen to music together. I got some CD's too, I told you that I'm well prepared."

You could hear his smile through the phone. "I never doubted you."

"Nuh-uh, yeah you did. You rolled your eyes at me-"

"It was sarcasm!" I insisted playfully. "I'm so excited to run away with you."

"Me too... I-" He quickly stopped himself from saying whatever he was about to blurt out. I knew what it was. "You're so special to me." He switched up his words. "And you're my favorite person."

"Awe. Okay, let's stop procrastinating. Be there soon. Bye!" And before I could say it back, he hung up. A big smile crept on my face because... wow. We're really going to be doing this. Running off to a new city, a place we have never been in before with only each other for support. 

It was so exciting, I almost couldn't contain myself. I left my room and rushed to the bathroom to wash my hair dye out, later drying my hair off with a towel. A towel, that's probably something I should bring with me.

I looked up at the mirror and groaned. Getting my hair wet caused my natural waves to come back full force. I've been told by relatives about how my natural hair type was just so cute and that I should never get rid of it.

I groaned just thinking about them. I plugged in my straightener and waited for it to heat up, continuing on getting my hair dry. Then, I combed through it and went on with my regular routine of getting my hair as straight as possible. I already had to do it in the mornings every single day, surely it shouldn't be a hassle doing it now.

"Oli?" I squeaked at the sudden intrusive voice, dropping the hair iron. It fell atop my arm, the heat of it leaving a slight burn mark. "Ow!" I shout-whispered. I pushed it off me, my god that hurt.

I turned my head to look at the twat that caused me to accidently burn myself.

That twat turned out to be my little brother, Tom. I felt a little bad for internally calling him a that now. "Where are you going? It's so late... Dad's sleeping." He expressed his concern. "Just... getting some groceries."

"Dad just got groceries." I swear, if he rebuts me one more time. "It's groceries for myself." This is taking too long, I realized that spending so much time straightening my hair was a waste. I took out one of my hair combs to get as much as I could done.

"Okay..." His voice trailed off. I looked down at him, what's he doing still standing there? "When will you be back?" He asked me. His innocent tone caused a pang of guilt to shoot through my heart. I wasn't going to be back. Ever.

"Just go to bed, Tom. You have school tomorrow."

"You do, too." I took a towel and my comb, bringing them over to my room, walking past Tom. "Well, you're younger than me, so you need more sleep." I looked at him and waited for him to just go back to his room already.

"Okay... will you make breakfast tomorrow?" I started to feel so bad. I didn't even consider how my brother would feel when I leave. But, I wasn't going to cancel the plan. I wanted to do what was best for _me_. "We'll see if I wake up early enough. Go to bed."

With his head down, Tom made his way to his room, the front of his door had a little spaceship sticker on it. It was right next to Dad's.

I waited for his door to close before I rushed into my own room to stuff the remaining items into my backpack. I checked my phone and noticed one text Kellin sent me a few seconds ago.

_'almost there,'_ I quickly responded back _'dont climb the roof,'_

_'fine >:('_ Was all he texted back. I chuckled at the little angry face, putting the phone in my pocket. I grabbed my thrifted leather jacket and put my backpack on, slightly taken aback by how heavy it was. I should've expected that.

I walked downstairs and took Dad's car keys that was sitting on the coffee table like it always was. Beside it was a framed family picture from two years ago, it had me, Tom, and Dad on it. Tom showed off a goofy smile at the camera, while Dad had his lips slighty curled up on his face. Meanwhile, I was standing with my arms crossed with no expression on mine.

"Ugh." I responded at the sight. I put it face down on the table and opened the door, seeing Kellin just coming in my line of sight. He was crossing the street to my driveway. The moment he spotted me he smiled, held up his arm, and waved.

I stepped out of the house and into the sixty-degree April weather. "Sweetie!" He rushed towards me and gave me a big hug, nearly causing me to fall onto the ground. Without hesitation, I pressed my lips onto his, feeling the soft, pink skin of his own. "Let's go. You got your clothes and stuff?" I asked, making my way to the car.

"Duh. We can share clothes, if you want." He went over to the passenger's side. I nodded, even though I knew from the way he was a lot shorter than me and a bit thinner it may not even fit in the first place.

I unlocked the doors and we both got inside. "Oh my god." Kellin murmured, looking rather alarmed. I panicked just from his tone, looking around at what could be up. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! It's just that this is all really happening, it's so crazy." His eye's glistened as he spoke. "Yeah." I smiled. I took the GPS device that Dad always had sitting in the car and looked up the directions to where we planned our new home to be.

Once it pulled up the map and route, I place it on the stand in front of the window, starting the car. "You ready?" I asked.

"More ready than ever." 


	4. ♥4♥

The roads were rather empty due to how late it was at night. I had the radio on to the nearest rock station, Kellin had his hand out the window with his eyes closed, singing along to the Taking Back Sunday song that was playing. It got to the chorus, and suddenly I was singing along loudly to the only part of it I actually knew the lyrics to.

We had finally gotten to the point where you could see the city in the horizon. "Kellin, look!" I pat his wrist, catching his attention. He opened his eyes and gasped at the sight before him.

"I've never been to the city before..." He expressed. "Really?" I giggled at him. "Yeah, really. I been living in the suburbs my whole life. What, have you been to one?"

"I grew up in the city before I moved here." I thought back to my life in the UK. The streets were always so busy and I walked to school every morning. Winters were always colder there than where I am now, and I somewhat miss it. But, if I never left it, I wouldn't be experiencing this moment, would I?

"That's literally so interesting, I always wanted to live in the city."

"Well, now you will." I smiled at him, continuing down the road and closer to the multistory buildings I haven't been accustomed to in so long.

It was almost 3AM, yet there were still a moderate amount of cars going to and from the city. I wonder where they could be going?

"Once we get there we should go out and explore." Kellin looked over at me, his head resting on his fist. "As long as you stay close to me." If we're going to be living at this place, we might as get to know our surroundings.

"I'll always stay close to you." He yawned and rested his head against the window. I found myself glancing at him every second. He was just so cute, it was impossible to keep my eyes off of him. I was seconds away from saying those three little words, but I won't do it.

I finally passed the first high-rise building and noticed all the bright lights that surrounded me. There were people on the sidewalks, looking like they had just gotten back from the club and others looking like they got back from their office job.

The city after in the middle of the night when it's the least active always looked beautiful to me. Being in an empty street makes it feel like time doesn't exist. "Kells." I turned towards him only to find out that he was asleep.

Maybe exploring can wait for the daytime. I began to drive into the darkest parts of the city that seemed bare of any people so I could park in it and sleep through the night. I ended up in an abandoned gas station nearby a lake. I turned off the music and engine and crawled into the backseat.

I must have been moving around noisily, because Kellin had awakened. He looked at the backseat where I was laying in. "You're going to sleep already?"

"Just thought I would since you fell asleep first." My exhausted voice croaked. Driving for hours straight made me forget how nice it is to lay down for once. Kellin sighed in regret. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's fine, c'mere." I gestured over to him. He smiled at me and zipped open his backpack to get out a blanket, which he threw to the backseat. It hit me in the face. I pushed it off of me as Kellin tried his best to contain his laughter.

He crawled into the backseat and scooted himself against my body, giving me the opportunity to put an arm around him. I pulled the blanket up and sprawled it over the both of our bodies.

"Oli?" Kellin spoke up. "Mhm?" I murmured into his hair. I heard him take a deep breath.

"I love you." He finally said. Butterflies suddenly erupted in my stomach, and I couldn't help but smile. I'd squeal, but it'd ruin the moment.

He said it, he finally said 'I love you' to me! And it really did feel like the perfect moment, that moment we begin the rest of our lives together. "I love you, too."

I closed my eyes with my lips curled into a smile. Kellin turned around to face my body. "I'm so happy I met you." He confessed. I opened my eyes back up and combed my fingers through his hair. "Together forever?" I asked.

He didn't stop to think for even a second. "Together forever."

I held my pinkie up, to which Kellin wrapped his own around. I put my hand back on his hip, pecked his lips, and fell asleep only seconds later. 


	5. ♥5♥

I woke up from Kellin swiftly pulling himself off me and hopping on the passenger seat. "Kells..." I groaned out, my head felt groggy from sleeping in such a cramped space. "Let's get a move on, Oli. I want to see the city life!"

"It's not as wonderful as movies make it out to be." I told him. Kellin just scoffed. "You're only saying that because you're a city kid yourself."

"Hey, hey, I told you I haven't lived in the city for years-"

"Get driving, we can get breakfast at a diner or something. It's _my_ birthday, so _you_ do what _I_ want." Even though I wanted to argue back, I can't disappoint the birthday boy. And I was actually incredibly hungry.

I hopped into the driver's seat and pulled out of the abandoned parking lot. I'm quite surprised that we both ended up safe, nobody seemed to attempt at stealing our car.

"Where-"

"Just drive around until we find something." Kellin blurted, turning on the radio and playing the same station we were last night. When we realized what song started playing from the speakers, Kellin and I squealed immediately. It was one of our favorites.

I started to enter parts of the city where more civilians were present. It was less busy than I thought it'd be, and I figured out that it was because it was literally 1PM and people had already gotten to work. How long did Kellin and I sleep?

"Ooo, look!" Kellin pointed at a building in the corner, the sign hanging above it showed its logo and the name of the café. "You wanna go there?" I asked him. Kellin looked at me and nodded his head.

I then proceeded to spend about thirty minutes looking for a free parking spot, then ultimately decided to just pay a toll to park my car for four hours.

I put my wallet in my pocket, got out of the car and as fast as I could I rushed to the passenger door to open it for Kellin. "My prince." I honored, curtseying him. He smiled up at me, taking the hand I held out for him. My eyes suddenly darted at a stranger on the phone giving us both a weird glare, the moment we made eye contact the person quickly turned around and walked away.

"Don't worry about anyone looking at us, we've been through this." He reminded after I closed the door. We went on our journey to the café Kellin had pointed out earlier, it was about four blocks away.

In the corner of my eye, I saw him continuously sneaking glances up at me. "There something on my face?" I giggled. "No." Was all he replied. "So, what are you looking at me for?"

He chuckled to himself and took my hand, holding it as we walked. "No reason at all." I swear, sometimes this boy is so confusing. But, he was always cute about it, so it's all good. We walked into the building, smelling the freshly baked bread and hot coffee.

The food was rather underwhelming for our first meal as a couple living together, but it didn't bother either of us all too much. We had pancakes and watched the news that played on the café's TV. It was talking about some arsonist going around the area and setting garbage bins on fire, wearing a ski mask. Afterwards, we went on a walk through the city, going into free museums, gift shops, and the park.

Soon enough, it was almost 6PM, meaning that we had to get back to our car, find somewhere else to park it at and another thing to do the rest of the day.

As we went down the sidewalk our car was parked beside, we were suddenly stopped by an older woman. She seemed to have popped up out of nowhere, sliding into my line of sight without warning. I winced at her presence.

"Darlings." She started off saying. It was a sweet nickname, it made me trust her more. "Hey?" I responded, keeping a welcoming smile on my face. "Where are you two going?" She asked. I felt a little panicked at first, thinking she was about to arrest us or something.

"Just back to our car." Kellin pointed over to the tan colored car with silver accents that belonged to us. "How wonderful. I hope you don't mind, but would you two boys be a couple dears and fetch my clutch? I dropped it over the fence right there." She gestured at the tall, black fence that protected the flower garden beside us.

Kellin looked up at the fence and made a sound of disapproval. "I don't think we can climb that..."

"You two are young, you can find a way." She smiled. "Uh, yeah, alright sure." My voice was inconsistent from my own hesitation. I nodded my head and walked over to the fence, Kellin standing right beside me. "You know, I don't see any clutch bag anywhere in the grass-"

Suddenly, I heard a jingling noise and the sound of the woman running over to our car. I felt the back of my pants and realized that I didn't feel my keys anywhere. "Shit!" I grunted. By the time I started to chase the woman down, she was already entering the car, _my_ car, and turning on the engine.

"Hey! Come back, you can't just take our car, you..." Turns out, she could, and she was driving away. I gave up on chasing her down, realizing that I was too late. I put my face in my hands in shame.

"What just happened?" Kellin whispered under his breath. "She... took our car."

I'm literally so stupid. "How'd you let that happen?"

"I don't know, she snuck up on me!" My voice was panicked and frustrated. We had everything we needed in there and now it's all gone. I felt my eyes start to water, no, no, not this again. I can't cry over every single inconvenience.

I felt Kellin put his arm around me and rest his head atop my shoulder. "What do we do now?" He asked in a low voice. "We'll find an alleyway or somewhere comfortable to sleep in, I guess." I felt my own words shake as I spoke.

"Let's... try not to give up hope, okay?" He looked up at me with his cute doll eyes. I could tell he's lost all the enthusiasm he once had only moments ago. "How much money do you have left?"

I took out my wallet and counted the cash. "About eighty bucks." Dammit, I knew I was going to regret buying that overpriced ice cream at the park. Kellin lost even more of his gleam. "That's enough to last us a couple weeks, maybe?" No, it's not. "We'll find jobs." I said, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Yeah..." Kellin sounded like he was about to cry, too.

It seems like all we can do right now is look for somewhere safe to stay and keep ourselves alive. 


	6. ♥burning buildings♥

A fem in a black leather jacket was walking through the city late at night with his boyfriend. One of his boyfriends, anyway. He had two others, all four of them lived in the same apartment and went to the same college. They all loved each other the same way although two haven't admitted that yet.

From around the corner, an arsonist that was quite close to the fem and even closer to his lover was filling a beer bottle with gasoline. They pulled their black ski mask down lower. The mouth had been cut out to reveal full, rose colored lips. The eyes were covered in mesh fabric, sheer enough for them to peer through, but opaque enough to the point where no one could tell what color their eyes are. The pyromaniac was wearing a red skirt that went down to their knees, fishnets, combat boots, a black tank top, and a leather jacket

It was the exact same one the fem was wearing that night, the one his boyfriend gave to him after he had complained about the cold weather (his boyfriend was cold as well, but he was the one with the exposed midriff). The arsonist found it so cute, they just had to beg their roommate to get them one.

They'd never admit that, though.

The arsonist finished putting together one of their many Molotov cocktails and lit the end of the rag on fire, throwing it through the window of the restaurant. They stood close to the alleyway in case they needed a quick escape.

The small diner burst into the flames. The arsonist looked up at it in awe, the screams of the customers were like music to their ears. It was satisfying. This was all they have ever wanted, after this there was no way they could go back to setting garbage bins on fire.

The couple walking down the city noticed the flames and rushed towards it as fast as they could to see what was going on. But one of them knew, and he knew quite well. His eyes found themselves focusing on a figure hiding behind the building.

While everyone else was getting as far away from the scene as possible, he began to run towards it. "Lexy? Lexy! Get away from the..." He gave up after he realized he wasn't listening. The figure turned towards the man making his way towards them, immediately they wanted to run off.

That'd just make them feel pathetic. Why should they be scared of him? A pyromaniac shouldn't be afraid of anything. "What the fuck were you thinking?" He put his hands on their shoulders and shouted that their face. Lexy felt a bit guilty afterwards.

"I couldn't help it!" The arsonist cried back. "It just looks so beautiful, see?" They turned towards the burning building, chunks of it was already beginning to fall off.

The distant sound of firetrucks wailing could be heard through the whole city. What a shame. Firefighters ruin all the fun. "There could've been people in there!" Lexy became increasingly frustrated. "There were." Through the cut in the mask, you could see the arsonist smile with their crooked bottom teeth. The imperfections were endearing in a way.

"The news reporters were in there." The arsonist added, like that made it okay. Lexy looked at them wide-eyed. "Nico." He started to speak. "You need help, you need to go back to rehab-"

Those words made Nico roughly shove Lexy away from them. "No fucking away!" They backed away from him swiftly. "You can't make me go back, they don't do shit for me! They act like there's something wrong with me!" They turned their back from the man, pulling out a spray can bottle from their pocket.

"Nico..." He didn't want to say this, but someone needed to make them hear it for once in their life. "There _is_ something wrong with you." Suddenly, they stopped shaking their can. "Don't say that."

"This obsession you have is what killed your family, Nico."

"Don't say that shit to me!" They threw their can on the ground and pivoted towards Lexy. They wanted to grab him by the collar and throw him into the fire, but they couldn't. They couldn't bring themselves to hurt him, no matter how much they thought he deserved it.

"You don't understand why I do this." They croaked out. They stood in place, their arms crossed and looking down at the concrete ground. Lexy hesitated for a moment, but ultimately decided approach them calmly.

"I know you just want to find somewhere that you belong." The arsonist never had a real home. They always found themselves travelling from city to city and always ending up in a place they felt so lost in. "I can give that to you." Lexy held both of Nico's hands with his own, pulling them closer.

Lexy looked over to his boyfriend, who was watching him intently and had a hand on his hip. He made sure he knew what was going on before leaning towards Nico for a kiss. Their lips pressed together for only a moment, it sparked burning passion that Lexy didn't notice before. Nico felt nothing.

They pulled away as fast as possible. It was so wrong. Everything that they have done together just felt... off. "You don't understand." The arsonist murmured under their breath. "I don't love."

"You sure as hell love setting things on fire." He pulled them in for another kiss. Instinctively, they pushed him away. "I'm serious, Lexy. I don't love anyone, and I especially don't love you." They spoke sternly. He never did it often, but Lexy felt himself begin to cry.

The fire was only a few feet behind him, the heat of it made his exposed flesh alarmingly hot. If only he could just take a few more steps backwards...

Nico walked off and picked up their spray paint can and started to write on the brick wall behind the now long gone restaurant. "Don't leave me, please." Lexy pleaded, his voice strained and pained. "I know you. I know that you just need someone to help you become a better person."

 _The Arsonist_. That's what they wrote on the wall. That's what every news anchor would refer them as. That's all they were to general society, it was the only thing they knew about them. They found the nickname rather empowering. "You know me?" Nico giggled to themself. "You don't even know my real name."

They gave Lexy one last look before sprinting away into the alley.

He was stunned, confused, and purely broken. Hot tears poured down his face and hit the already heated ground. He tried his hardest to wipe them away as fast as he could, but they just kept pouring out. He cursed under his breath, feeling so pathetic and used. He thought him and the arsonist had a real connection. A real bond. Was it really all an illusion?

Lexy dropped to his knees and buried his face into his hands, sobbing uncontrollably. He reached the point where he didn't care. The firetruck had finally made it to the scene and the group of firefighters started to try their hardest to put out the flames his lost lover had caused.

"Baby." Someone wrapped his arms around his neck and rested his head on his shoulder. It was his boyfriend, the one who had on his leather jacket. "Let's get out of here. Stand up." He pulled Lexy up to his feet and put an arm around him, leading him to the streets and past all the commotion going on behind them.

He knew he shouldn't ask, but all these questions continued on forming in his head. "Who was that?" He asked. He thought about that red skirt and how it looked so familiar. "It doesn't matter." Lexy responded, his voice faint and melancholic.

The fem didn't bother asking another question, because he already had figured it out once he began to piece everything together. They walked through the streets in silence, keeping each other close on the way back to the apartment they shared with their partners.

Lexy's mind kept flashing images of the arsonist running into the alleyway. Away from him. He started to wonder if he'll ever see them again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also fyi the arsonist is not an oc and through the story it will be hinted as to who it is<3 so tell me ur guesses


	7. ♥7♥

It's been a couple days, at the moment it was noon and we just ate bread that we were given for free by a kind lady at the local bakery. Besides that, we been keeping ourselves sane purely from our good attitudes.

The both of us just got back from the store to buy some necessities and clothing to wear, plus we traveled to a laundromat to wash the clothes we been wearing the past three days. As we were searching around the city, we found a hose in an alley that we were planning on using to shower.

Kellin tugged at the bottom hem of his shirt as I leaned against an old building that was in said alleyway. I was staring right at him. He started to pull the shirt up, but once it went above his bellybutton, he stopped. He turned around and made eye contact with me.

"Pervert." He teased. My eyes darted away from his body as my face flushed red in shame. "I didn't even notice I was staring at you." I defended myself with a smirk on my face. He playfully rolled his eyes like he didn't believe a word I was saying.

"See, look, now I'm not even watching." I moved my head the opposite direction from him. "I know you want to take a peek." He threw his still warm t-shirt on top of my head as he started to walk over to the water hose.

The shirt smelled like sweat and dirt, but at least it was _his_ sweat and dirt, right? "Never said that." I continued keeping my eyes off him and he pulled off his jeans, the rustle of the fabric and the sound of it hitting the concrete ground could be heard.

The knob of the hose squeaked before running water splashed atop of Kellin's head, wetting his hair and rinsing the dirt off his body. I should look, I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

I only peeked for a split moment before we met each other's eyes, causing my head to snap back to the place it was. "If you're gonna be watching me, then I should be allowed to watch you the whole time you shower."

"I'm not watchin', I swear." I giggled, secretly rather excited I got to see him nude, even if it was for less than a second. Geez, I sound like a real creep right now. "You wouldn't be able to handle the beautiful sight of me, anyways."

"Maybe so..." I smirked to myself, covering my mouth with my hands so I'd stop smiling so much. The hose turns off and Kellin took a bar of soap to lather on his body and into his scalp.

A distant, rather flamboyant male voice suddenly came into my range of hearing. He spoke so loudly and confidently. "So, as I was saying, she was totally lying when she said she didn't get h- _oh em gee!_ "

Kellin squeaked which caught my attention immediately. I turned my head to the direction of his body and noticed two figures walking in from an intersection in the alley. My own heart jumped in my chest, I didn't think anyone was going to find us here!

The two dashed away as Kellin rushed to picked up a towel and wrap it around himself. "Uh." Was all I managed to respond to the situation with. "That was so embarrassing... I can't believe a couple strangers just saw me like that." Kellin expressed, his words slurred and obviously panicked.

"Are you going to finish your shower, at least?" I asked him. He shook his head 'no,' which was understandable. "Maybe some other time... not after what just happened."

One of the men who walked in peeked his head out to check if Kellin was covered up by then. I thought they would have ran far away by now. He started to make his way towards us, the friend accompanying him gestured towards him to come back, but he was just ignoring him.

"Aren't you two precious?" He gave the both of us a warm smile, somehow relieving all the awkward tension from what just happened. He seemed like the kind of guy to have that effect. In fact, looking at him, he was wearing white jeans that were even tighter than the ones I wear, white sneakers, and a pink crop top that had the Juicy logo on it in diamond studs.

He was wearing a _crop top_. That's not something you see every day. He seemed unafraid of anything. The outfit juxtaposed with his trimmed beard, thick eyebrows and his dark, spiky hair. It had a pink streak at the front of it.

Kellin and I didn't say anything. What were we supposed to say? 'Thank you, stranger. Hope you didn't mind seeing one of us naked'? The man put a hand on his hip and seemed to inspect the both of our faces.

"How old are you two?" He asked, lifting up one eyebrow. "We're sixteen." Kellin replied. "Oh, well that's a tad bit older than I thought." Never in my life have I heard a man with an unashamedly feminine voice. He didn't seem to be much older than either of us.

There was a long moment of silence between the three of us before he found the words to speak. "Were you... showering with that?" His face scrunched up like he was disgusted. "I mean, no judgement, hon. I don't know what your situation is." He chuckled.

Kellin's still wet hair caused cold droplets to fall over his shoulders. He nodded. "You could come back to my apartment if you need to use a regular shower, you know. Doesn't seem very hygienic to wash yourself like this."

His friend in the back seemed to grow tired of his antics and stormed up to him, wearing ripped jeans, a t-shirt of a band I didn't recognize, an open raggedy flannel, and Doc Martens. He had a dark brown fringe with matching eyes, thick and perfectly arched eyebrows, and a gaze that can set your heart on fire. It was quite different from the style his friend right here sported. These two intimidated me, not in a way that they're scary, but in the way that they seemed so...

Well, I didn't know the exact words. Different, maybe? They didn't seem to be the types to act like everyone else. "What are you doing? Why are you inviting a couple strangers to our house?"

"They're just a couple teenagers, Lexy. They clearly have no place to stay, I'm just being nice." Lexy?

"I'm sure they're just hanging out outside of their parents house and messing around with garden hoses. They probably have houses to stay at."

"Okay, watch this." The fem cleared his throat and turned towards the both of us. "Do you two have homes to go to?" With sad looks our on faces, we shook our heads 'no.'

"See, look? They need somewhere to stay. We have to take care of them, somehow."

"Take care of them? Jack, you don't even know how to take care of a hamster."

"Hammy just wanted to be free." The man, whose name was apparently Jack, had sassed back. "Yeah, good thing you gave him that freedom by leaving his cage wide open." He seemed visibly offended by the clapback.

"We're taking these kids home and that's final."

"Alright, fine. Don't let them run off like you did Hammy."

"Psh, I swear that was an accident." They both were whispering to prevent me and Kellin from hearing what they say, but they were whispering rather loudly and dramatically. It was almost as if they _wanted_ us to listen in on what they were saying.

"Okay, I get it. I won't say anything about it again." Lexy settled Jack down. He turned back around and to speak to the both of us. "Alright. Follow us, we'll take you back to our apartment." 

Kellin looked down at himself, his body still wrapped in only a towel. "But, of course, we'll give you some privacy to get some clothes on. See you in a little, meet us around the corner over there." The two men walked off into where they came from.

"Isn't this perfect, Oli?" Kellin gleamed. "We'll finally have somewhere to stay!"

Finally, I didn't think we'd be able to handle living without a roof over our heads for any longer. "Wait, they didn't say how long we could stay."

"It's somethin' at least." I smiled. Kellin gestured at me to turn around, and I did. I heard him ruffle the towel over his hair and body that was still covered in soap.

"Hopefully they give us a new change of clothes." Kellin pulled on the clothing he had on earlier and put all our belongings into the backpack we bought today.

The both of us rushed around the corner, lowkey thinking that the two wouldn't be there anymore, but alas, they were standing there conversating. I was incredibly grateful they didn't just run off.

"The car is nearby, just follow our lead." Jack happily took my hand and lead the both of us to it. I saw Lexy give him a weird look. "I'm Jack, by the way." He gleamed. He didn't know I already heard his name. "And I'm Ale-"

"That's my Lexy, right there." He pat his back affectionately, Alex looked annoyed but you could tell that he found his actions endearing. "Just call me Alex, please."

Jack scoffed at him. Before I could say my own name, Kellin decided to do it for me and introduce himself as well. Jack went on about how adorable he thought our names were, which was not a something I thought was worth gushing about.

"So, you're not much of a talker, huh?" Jack was still holding my hand like I would get lost if he let go. "Sorry, I just don't always feel the need to-"

"Oh em gee! You're British, that's literally so cute." My nationality is also not a thing I thought was worth gushing about, but here we were. So far, Jack has gotten excited over every little thing, I wonder what that's like.

"One of our other roomies is British, he just moved here at the beginning of Sophomore year." Alex informed. "You two are Sophomores?"

"In college, yeah. We go to one nearby." At this point, we had gotten to their car which looked a few years old but recently polished.

Alex got to the driver's seat and unlocked our doors. "Come on in."

I stood there, thinking for a moment. "'You changing your mind?" He asked, getting into the car. Jack and Kellin had already done the same. "I just don't get why you're being so nice to us." It almost seemed a bit suspicious.

"Yeah, me neither. It's a cruel world out there, though. Can't leave you out on the streets, hm?" He was still being so sweet, but I was still hesitating. "C'mon, we're not murderers, I swear."

I sat inside and decided that these two really did have good intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fem jack!!!!!


	8. ♥8♥

The inside of the car smelled like cologne and a bit like weed. Nothing I was a stranger to, though. "Our apartment isn't too far from here. We have two other roommates." He pulled out of the lot and made his way to the street.

"So, what are they like?" Kellin asked, peering his head between the passenger and driver's seat. "Soft." Was all Jack responded, causing him and Alex to erupt in a fleeting moment of laughter. Kellin and I sat there confused, this must have been an inside joke that we didn't understand.

"Yeah, they're pretty soft. They act like they aren't and will probably put on a tough-ish front when you meet them, but don't get fooled." Alex advised. "They're both really sweet, like, you have no idea."

"Right? I remember that time when-" The two of them looked like they were going to start gossiping, but stopped themselves. "What are their names?" I finally spoke up.

"I'll let them introduce themselves, I'm a hundred percent sure they're both home." I nodded and sat silently in my seat. The four of us were quiet the next couple minutes. Jack and Alex exchanged whispers, once again loud enough to where I could eavesdrop on everything they say.

"Really? You think so?"

"Even I wouldn't want to be near my brother like that."

"They don't even look like..." Alex's eyes darted from Kellin to me before they went back to Jack. He shrugged. "They're from different countries."

"What are you guys talking about?" I spoke up innocently. "Nothing." Alex replied so nonchalantly and went back to focusing on the road. "Are you two boyfriends?" Jack asked with a hopeful smile. The question caught me off-guard, the answer was clear but I didn't have the willpower to respond.

"Yeah, it's been about seven months." Kellin replied with the same energy Jack asked the question with, happily and confidently. I should get used to being direct about my relationship with Kellin, I just wasn't used to saying he's my boyfriend out loud.

Why should I be scared of telling these two? They're probably also a couple, anyways. I smiled at Jack and nodded; his own smile suddenly grew larger. "Oh em gee! Lexy, Lexy do you hear that!" He pat his shoulder to get his attention. "Are you really surprised?"

"No, but now we know! Another gay couple!" Another? I knew it! Kellin and I exchanged happy glances at each other from the outburst of excited energy. It's like the four of us had suddenly gained a connection towards one another.

"We're not a couple, we're more like part of a-" Alex stopped himself, deciding that explaining anything was useless. What does he mean him and Jack aren't a couple? It was so obvious. "Well, nevermind. Anyways, you said seven months? That's a long time."

"Lexy and I have been together for two years now." Jack blurted before I could respond to Alex. The first second they say they're not a couple and the next they're talking about being together for two whole years?

Two years. It sounds like such a large amount of time, Kellin and I still have a long way to go before we reach it, but I know all of it will pass in a blink of an eye. And we'll be together for many years to come and get married...

I didn't even notice when Alex had began parking in front of an apartment building. There wasn't a pool or anything fancy, but it did have rather nice greenery scattered about its surroundings.

"His motorcycle isn't here or anything." Alex whispered to Jack. He just shrugged as we all got out of the car, making our way towards the complex. We walked up two plights of stairs to finally make it to their apartment. The wooden stairs were still wet from the rain last night.

"Alright, here it is." Jack dug into his pockets for at least thirty seconds and finally fished out his key to unlock the door. He looked behind himself at the both of us. "Ready for the big reveal?"

"Jack, it's just a regular apartment, you're making things way too dramatic." Alex criticized, but Jack still managed to get Kellin and I excited. He looked at the both of us with a smile. "I'm just happy we have a place to stay, now. Oli and I have been sleeping under bridges the past few days."

"That must've been terrible, darling..." He seemed to trail off, his gaze lingering on my Kellin for a bit too long. "Hm. You have really nice eyes." He commented, turning his attention back to the door immediately. I knew that, you could go swimming in those things.

"Really?" Kellin gasped as if he didn't already know he had pretty eyes. "Mhm. Looks a lot like one of our r-"

From a distance, there was the sound of a motorcycle engine roaring. The sound had interrupted what Jack was saying. "Oh, there they are." He stated enthusiastically. I looked over the balcony and saw a motorcycle with a trail of smoke behind it, two people were boarded on it. One person sat behind the driver, his arms around his waist.

"Go inside, lock them out." Alex whispered. Jack insert the key and opened the door, letting the three of us in before he walked inside himself. There were paintings on the wall that seemed to have been made by a local artist rather than bought at a store.

There was a living room connected with the kitchen and two bedrooms. On the coffee table, there were papers and textbooks scattered about, a vinyl player was against the wall and there was a small shelf filled with music beside it. Potted plants surrounded the window and there was no TV in sight.

I took a few more steps and tripped over a pair of combat boots, the reason I didn't fall face-flat on the floor was because Alex pulled me up to my feet. "Oh, careful."

"He could've gotten hurt, I told you we need a shoe rack."

"Blegh, it's a waste of money."

I let myself go from Alex's grip and walked into the living room and put my backpack on the floor next to the couch, lightly touching the plants and looking at their vinyls. I haven't heard of any of these bands...

"It's so artsy in here." Kellin commented. "Yeah? It's the look we were going for." Alex walked into the living room with Jack behind him. He went up to the coffee table and sorted the textbooks and lined papers filled with notes into neater piles.

"Get yourself comfy, you two might be here for a while." Jack told us. "And take a proper shower like I told you to earlier, you both smell like dirt and sweat." I gave him a tender smile even though he just insulted us.

"Thank you, so, _so_ much." I made my way towards him to give him a hug, but he backed away. "You're welcome, what did I just say about taking a shower? The bathroom is in the bedroom." He gestured over to the door beside the vinyl player. "And there's another one in our office, it was supposed to be a bedroom, too, but we didn't think we'd need another one."

So, all four of them are cramped into one room? Maybe they're such a tight-knit group, they don't feel the need to spread themselves out. The doorbell rang, indicating that the rest of the residents have arrived.

"Don't you guys already have your own key?" Alex called out loud enough to be heard through the door. "We forgot it!" The voice was definitely British, like mine, but a tad bit more posh.

"I forgot to grab it."

"That's too bad." Alex replied sarcastically. "See, I told you they were going to do this." A different voice with no accent came into play. "Well, they're the ones being petty – you know what, we got cookies!" I felt my stomach growl just from the mention of that dessert.

"Ooo! Cookies! Alex, open the door." Jack told him. Alex opened the door for the two, earning a sigh from the taller one. And he was _tall_. Taller than Jack, who beat my own height by an inch.

He was wearing a leather jacket, grey jeans, chelsea boots, and a white t-shirt. A dainty spiked choker wrapped around his neck, which made me a bit jealous. I always wanted something like that, but my dad never allowed it.

I watched him ruffle his own dark brown curls as his blue eyes darted towards me. Jack was right, they did look like Kellin's. "Who are those two?" I think my blood suddenly ran cold at how he asked that in such an accusing way.

Kellin stood there awkwardly, looking back at the man. "Who's what?" The other roommate we haven't met before walked in.

He was eight whole inches shorter than the one who noticed us, had tan skin, long chocolate brown hair that was put up into a bun at the back of his head, mocha eyes, and on his body he wore a grey hoodie, grey sweatpants, and black sneakers. He added to the fit with his denim jacket.

The guy looked no older than fifteen, but if he was going to college, then there was no way he was.

He noticed us and made a confused face. "We found them in an alleyway." Alex told them. I wish he had introduced us differently, because he just made it sound like we were a couple of drug dealers.

"A what now? Why would you trust them into our house?"

"They're just a couple teenagers."

"Why are you letting some random emo lesbian couple into our house?" A random emo what couple?

"They're both boys." Jack informed. The one with his hair in a bun took a double take at us. "Oh." He responded faintly. "Still, you can't trust them here." I looked over at Kellin, and he just shrugged. "I really hope they don't kick us out." He whispered into my ear. "They wouldn't, I don't think they'll let us back on the streets. Alex and Jack are too nice."

I stood close to him, worrying. "Listen, they don't have a home, I saw one of them shower with a garden hose." He didn't need to mention that part. "They needed somewhere to stay, so we're letting them shelter here."

The two other roommates seemed to soften at the explanation, like a sudden hit of empathy struck them. "Alright, we'll let them stay." The taller one said, causing Jack to express that signature facial expression of gleaming joy.

The two approached us, and since their whole look was much more intimidating than Alex and Jack's, I started to freak out a bit, even though I knew they meant no harm. The taller one stood in front of me, I don't meet people who was taller than me every day.

"I'm Josh." He took his hand out, allowing me to shake it. "You're very handsome."

Kellin snapped his head towards him immediately and attempted at an intimidating look. I made eye contact with him as a way to tell him 'it's okay, I'm sure he's not flirting with me.'

"I'm... Oli. Um, I think you're pretty handsome, too." And he really was, he looked like his face was sculpted after the gods. "Nice accent. Yeah, I know. I get that a lot."

I'm not sure whether I should be impressed or annoyed by his cockiness. "So full of yourself." The other roommate said, approaching me. "Hey, Oli. I'm Vic, it's nice to meet you."

He held his hand up at me so that I could shake it, but I became rather hesitant to. "You seem scared." He chuckled. I am a bit scared, but I shouldn't be. "I told you earlier that these two may look scary, but you know, they're actual softies."

Vic rolled his eyes at him. "Not that soft." He shook his hand at me, waiting for me to finally shake it. And I did, I don't think I've ever felt a softer hand, he must moisturize. His nails looked perfectly manicured, as well.

"And who is this dollface right here?" Josh turned his attention towards Kellin, who seemed to shrink in his presence the same way I did. _Dollface_. I should've came up with that one before he did.

"Josh, don't even. They're both underage." Alex ordered. "I'm being nice, I didn't mean to come off that way."

"It's fine, thank you." Kellin assured faintly. "I'm Kellin."

"I'm Josh, and you're really small." He shook his hand like he was made out of fragile china. He giggled, it was true that he really was rather small. "Almost as tall as me." Vic stated. "Yeah, almost." Kellin joked. "Alright, I'm Vic."

Kellin introduced himself back shyly. "I'm glad we found you guys at the right time, what made you guys end up on the streets?"

Should we really tell him that we drove two hours away from home, made it to this city and proceeded to get our car stolen the next day? We both stood there, silently, and not quite sure what to say. "It's fine, you don't have to respond. I been there, too, and I don't like talking about it either." Vic assured with a light chuckle.

"That's horrible, Vic." Kellin frowned. I wordlessly looked down at the ground. "No, it's fine. I'm in college now, right?"

"He's going to be a child psychologist." Josh blurted out loud, placing a box of cookies on the kitchen counter. Jack quickly rushed to it and took one out. "Mhm." Vic muttered, I felt real confused. He doesn't look like the kind of person to do that sort of job.

"We can do our sharing circle later, but right now we're gonna let Kellin and Oli get themselves cleaned up first." Alex chimed in. "I'll take the one in the office." I whispered over to Kellin. "Mkay."

"What do we wear?" Kellin asked. "I'm sure you can find something in our drawers you can fit into, we share clothes all the time." I doubted it, but I nodded.

I stepped inside the office. There was a desk with a computer on it, an easel that stood atop a towel covered in specks of dried paint, an acoustic and electric guitar beside an amplifier in the corner, and a bookshelf filled with things ranging from books to paintbrushes. The door to the bathroom was right beside it.

I went inside and was surprised at how clean it was, maybe it wasn't used very often. I made my way to the shower, but stopped myself the moment I passed the mirror. I looked like total shit, how did none of those guys point that out? I literally looked like I had just crawled out of a forest.

My hair was all over the place and my face was dirtied, I looked so, so tired. And I really was. I stripped off all my clothes and hopped into the shower, turning the water almost hot enough to burn my skin just how I liked it.


	9. ♥9♥

Kellin was out of the shower before I was and already had on jeans and a flannel, using tightly knotted hoodie strings for a belt to keep his pants up, they were a little too big on him. He was in the kitchen, scarfing down a cookie.

"You must've been real hungry, darling." Jack waltzed beside him. Kellin put down the cookie in shame. "It's fine, have as many as you like." He assured, which immediately prompted Kellin to pick it back up and continue nomming. "But, we just ordered some pizza."

He dropped his cookie. "Really? I haven't had pizza in forever." His eyes lit up. "Oh, we have that as our dinner almost everyday." Josh informed. "Why?"

"We don't have unlimited money, Dollface." He replied. I didn't think he'd really insist on giving him that petname, it stung a bit. Jack rolled his eyes. "Why don't you have cute nicknames for me?"

"Well, what am I supposed to call you?" He looked down at him. Jack suddenly slammed his hand onto the kitchen counter. "You always seem to act so distant towards me, and I-" Alex chimed into the scene, interrupting him. "Can we not get petty in front of our new roommate? Like, he's been here less than an hour." He seemed more annoyed than pissed off, like he's seen this happen so many times before.

His eyes met mine as I was standing there with only a towel around my waist. Water droplets fell otop my shoulders and onto the carpet from my wet hair. "Uh...I'll go get changed." I spoke faintly.

Kellin looked over at me and smirked. I did the same back, wondering if he was implying anything. Maybe he's...

"These cookies are really good, sweetie, you need to try one."

Nevermind, he just wants to talk about the dessert he's eating.

"They look delicious." I smiled, rushing towards the bedroom door to get away from the occurrence that just happened. The moment I opened it, the first thing I saw was Vic shirtless, looking through the drawer. I shrieked, nearly dropping my own towel.

He looked behind himself with a concerned look on his face. "Um, hello?" He chuckled at me like I just done the most ridiculous thing he's ever witnessed. He grabbed a baggy shirt and walked past me. "Are you okay?" He looked up at me.

"Y-yeah, I'm good. I'm f-fine." I tripped on my own words. Somehow, I forgot how to talk. "'Aight." He knit his eyebrows at me and walked off, closing the door to give me some privacy.

"Someone please help the poor kid, if he's getting flustered over a man's naked torso then he must have never seen one before." His voice muffled through the door. I could hear laughter after his comment, hopefully none of it was Kellin's.

I just got here and I'm already making a fool of myself. If I just start acting normal and less awkward than I already am, maybe I could seem normal in this group of people. Then they might actually think I'm worth taking in as part a of them.

No, that's probably impossible. I'm always awkward.

Inside the bedroom was a full body mirror, a wardrobe made of dark wood, one king sized bed and a bedside table with papers scattered about it.

It didn't strike me as odd until I remembered that there were four people living in here. Did they all just sleep in the same bed? Do they take turns sleeping on the couch? I should ask about it later, but right now I have to get myself ready.

I dried my body with the towel and ruffled it through my hair, wait. It's probably gone all wavy again. I looked into the bathroom to check if they had any straighteners, but I found nothing. Seems like I'll be showing off my natural hair today.

I looked into the drawer and pulled out a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt, donning them both on. I pulled the shirt up and noticed that the end of it went above my bellybutton. It was a crop top, I accidentally went through Jack's wardrobe. Oh no.

Alex had decided that it was a wonderful idea to just barge into the room out of nowhere. I could have been naked! But, I wasn't, and his jaw dropped when he saw me. Quickly, it formed into a smile. "That's literally so cute. Jackie, c'mere, look at Oli."

No, no, Jack, don't come here. Before I could say anything, he was already looking through the bedroom doorframe, gleaming. "I love it! Please tell me that's what you're wearing."

"Eh... I don't know..." My eyes found itself on the full body mirror that was right beside me. I did look quite fabulous.

"What are you, scared? Just wear it, we aren't leaving the house anyways." His voice sounded like he was shocked to ever think anyone would be scared of wearing the kinds of clothing he does. I was a bit scared, I've gotten mocked for something as simple as wearing a pink wristband, how could I ever wear a crop top?

Fuck it, if Jack can do it, so can I. "No way." I scoffed, walking past the two of them. Vic made a comment about how Jack must've held me at gunpoint to get me to wear it, but I wasn't listening. My attention was immediately grabbed by Kellin giving me the biggest smile I had ever seen. He looked so sweet, I nearly dropped to my knees.

I naturally went over to him, grinning back. "That looks so good on you." He whispered up at me. "I should've taken it before you did."

"It'd just look like a normal shirt on you, love." I teased. "Hey, now that's just mean." I felt him pull me closer and giggle into my chest. "You know it's true." I tilted his chin up at me and cupped his jaw with both my hands, pressing my lips against his.

It only meant to be a peck, but something told me to keep going. I deepened the kiss, Kellin naturally gripped onto my upper arm and put his around my waist, pulling me forward so he could close the already small gap between us.

"Ahem." I heard someone clear their throat, ruining our moment. It was Josh. "Nobody wants to see your PDA."

"Really, Josh? I thought it was cute." Jack said from across the room. I felt my face turn into a deep rose color, I forgot there were even other people in the room.

"Don't worry about showing too much love to each other in here, we'd be hypocrites if we tried stopping you." Alex told us. The doorbell rang, his attention darted straight to the door. "Pizza's here." He cheered, picking up his wallet from the counter.

He opened the door, paid the delivery guy and walked back with two large pizzas, one plain cheese and the other was pepperoni. I didn't even think about how hungry I was until the scent of it caught up to me, my stomach began rumbling.

The group went to sit at the couch, holding paper plates. "Sit over here, it's where we have dinner." Vic gestured towards us. Kellin and I both went to sit down, but realized there was no room.

Josh noticed the issue and sat on the floor, allowing me and my boyfriend to sit beside each other. Alex placed the two boxes down and went over to the vinyl shelf. "What are we feeling tonight, ladies?" He asked in a singsong voice, perusing through the catalog.

"ABBA." Vic suggested. "I'm feeling Black Sabbath." Josh juxtaposed Vic's answer.

"Good god." He groaned. "Okay, I'm playing neither of that. We're listening to classical music." He pulled out a vinyl, it's cover showing a picture of a violin with Greatest Classical Pieces in History written in script.

He placed it on the record player and let the instruments play their tune. I was confused as to why he decided to play this out of everything. He went up to me and whispered in my ear, "It always quiets everyone down." I giggled to myself. Alex then sat down between Kellin and Vic on the couch, swinging his legs over Vic's thighs.

The group then selected their slices of pizza, the dramatic music that you'd hear in nature documentaries played in the background. We ate in silence for a moment, but it was quickly broken. "So, you two." Josh spoke up while I was gnawing on my food.

"Mhm?" I looked down at him. "We usually spend this time to talk about our days and stuff, but I think we'll ask about you two. Y'know, so we can get to know each other." Our eyes met for a moment, but I couldn't hold contact. His gaze scared me.

"So, um, you guys are interrogating us?" Kellin asked awkwardly. The room laughed at him. "No way, we just want to learn more about you guys. You can ask us questions, too." I felt a bit put on the spot from the sudden focus on the both of us, but I played along. I was curious about these guys as well.

"Let's start off with this, how old are you guys?"

"They're sixteen, they told me." Jack said before Kellin and I could say anything. We nodded. "And you guys are a couple?" Jack opened his mouth, but stopped himself when we made eye contact. "Yeah."

"It's been seven months and one week, I counted." Kellin stated proudly. I was impressed, because I wasn't even sure what specific day it was in September we got together. The early stages of our relationship were so awkward, I didn't think about it much. I just wanted to live in the moment.

"Damn, my longest relationship by the time I was sixteen was three weeks." Josh commented. I felt more accomplished in my relationship. "You two are so cute. How'd you meet?" Vic rested his arms on Alex's thighs, looking over at us.

"In school." I replied. "Don't spare the details." Kellin said, amused. "He was apparently always in love with me the day I transferred to his school from private school, and he confessed his love by writing me a poem-"

"Kells." I stopped him, but the whole room was already aww-ing. I closed my eyes to pretend I wasn't super embarrassed. "So, you been together for a long time, so..." Jack was implying something, but I wasn't sure what.

"Hm?" Kellin raised his eyebrows at him. "Like, have you guys done the thing?"

"Jack, they're sixteen." Vic scolded, Jack giggled at him. Kellin and I weren't sure how to answer the question. "And? I was sexually active when I was sixteen." Plenty of other people in our school were as well, sometimes I think we're both falling behind.

"No." Kellin answered simply. Jack gasped at him. "No? How? It's been more than half a year. Do you just not know how to do it?" I shook my head. "We know how it works... we just never got to it?" I don't know how much longer I could talk about this topic.

"The why wouldn't you... oh." He internally came to a conclusion. "Now I get it. You haven't done anything 'cause you're both bottoms."

Kellin and I looked at each other. "I mean..." I trailed off. That can't be the reason, we never discussed anything about that kind of stuff. Actually, the topic of anything sex related was almost never brought up. "Jack, look. They're so uncomfortable." Josh told him. "No, they're not. They're just aware that I'm right."

I was so uncomfortable.

He looked at the both of us and pursed his lips. "Okay, nevermind, they look totally uncomfortable." Jack dropped the subject immediately. "I told you." Josh stuck his tongue out of him like a child.

"Do you guys go to school around here?" Vic asked us, desperate to clear out the awkward tension. We shook our heads. "We don't go to school at all." Vic looked horrified to hear the news. "Well, we're going to have to enroll you guys somewhere."

"But-"

"No buts, when's the last time you guys been to school?"

"It's been..." It felt like we been away from home for a lifetime when it's really been less than a week. "Four days?" I saw him look upwards, thinking to himself. The ceiling lamp illuminated his eyes quite well.

"Only four days? Why did you stop going in the first place?"

I would tell them, and at first I wasn't sure why I wouldn't, but I felt like if I did then they'll send us both back home. "We just stopped coming in."

"You're not from around here, huh?" Alex asked. "No shit, he's British."

"I've lived in the US for some years. Kellin and I just, um." I quickly thought up of something that made sense. "Travelled a long way."

"Where'd you two come from?" Once they figure out the truth, then they'll definitely know where to send us back! "I don't really want to talk about it."

"That's okay, hon." Jack assured. Our conversations went on for hours and by the end of it we stuffed the leftover pizza boxes into the refrigerator and thrown away our paper plates. Vic insisted on enrolling me and my boyfriend into a public school, which pissed us both off.

I know Vic had good intentions, but the one pro of being away from home was not having to go through that hellhole again. Dammit. He also told us about how we should get ourselves part-time jobs so we could help pay bills and 'learn responsibility'. He spoke to us like he was literally our father, who knew that escaping one will lead us to another?

He's real sweet, though. Josh told us that being fatherly is just part of his nature and that he had basically raised his own little brother by himself as his parents were always out working during his childhood and teenage years. Now I understand the child psychologist thing.

I wasn't going to complain about having to work at a job. These guys just took us in out of nowhere and just fed us for free and were planning on continuing so, providing for Kellin and I. Helping pay rent may just be the least we could do.

By nightfall, Alex took out the classical music vinyl and the guys went into their bedroom. I forgot to ask them about how they had only one bed, but they told us that me and my boyfriend had to sleep on the couch together until they get a bed for us and figure out where to put it. So, I'm guessing the sleeping in one bed thing is plausible.


	10. ♥it's 2AM♥

Kellin was shaking my body awake. We find a warm place to sleep in and he's insisting on keeping my eyes open? No way. I been sleeping like a cat. "Kells..."

"I felt lonely." He whined. "I can't sleep, there's too much going on in my head."

He brushed his fingers through my hair, maybe as a way to calm himself down. "It's so pretty curly."

"Yeah?" Maybe that's enough to convince me to leave it that way, but for now, the thought of people seeing me without straight hair makes me cringe. I rubbed the tired out of my eyes and focused on Kellin. Every lamp in the apartment was turned off, so the only source of light was the moon and city lights through the windows.

"Mhm. You should leave it like that more." It seemed like he meant to say more, but decided not to. I sat up against the armrest. "So, I been meaning to tell you something." He pushed a strand of hair behind his ear and made sure I was one hundred percent focusing on him and only him. His pretty eyes looked directly into mine, and no matter how much I would've loved to stare back, I wasn't good at keeping eye contact.

"My parents were planning on moving." He finally confessed. "You never told me 'bout this?"

"I was going to, but I couldn't find it within myself to bring it up." He looked down sadly, but I used the tips of my fingers to lift his head back up. "And that's why I wanted you to run away with me, I couldn't imagine living in a world without you."

Neither could I. I tried to at one point, and it just hurt my own heart. "Where were they going to move?"

"All the way in Michigan." God, that's states away. I wouldn't be able to manage having my love that far from me. I put my arms around him and pulled him against my body. "Well, you're here with me now, I won't let you go."

"I know you wouldn't." He responded emotionlessly. I brushed my fingers through his black, shoulder-length hair for added intimacy. "We'll just stay with these guys for the time being."

"We haven't been away from home that long and we already have a new family, isn't that neat?" I felt like it depends on whether or not these guys would see us as family, too. We just got here, if they ever kick us out then...well...

We'll have to find somewhere else to go.

The door to the bedroom opened, and Vic stepped out with only his underwear on. This time, I promised myself I wouldn't freak out again. "Can't sleep?" His voice was still croaky. He must've just woken up.

"We were just talking." Kellin told him. Vic took a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the tap. "You said you two ran away from home?" He took a long sip of his drink. I felt myself begin to freak out.

"You're not gonna kick us out, are you?" Kellin was suddenly alert. Vic was appalled that we'd even think that. "You two thought I was 'bout to kick you out? That shits just cruel." He made his way towards us and put his glass of water on the table, then knelt down to reach our eye level. His hair was down, messy and undone.

"I'm sure you two have your reasons." His voice went low. We shifted in our seats, uncomfortable. Neither of us liked being in situations where we had to have heart-to-heart conversations with adults.

I looked away from him. "Whatever those reasons are, just know you're safe here with us, alright?" He took one of my hands and one of Kellin's. I haven't felt so cared about by someone besides my boyfriend like this in a while.

I smiled at him. "Thank you." I know I should've said more, maybe a whole entire speech about how grateful I was, but my mind was a blank canvas. Vic nodded his head. "Yeah, and one last thing."

This time, he was the one looking away from us. His attention went to the floor. "As long as you're under this roof, you're part of our family. Got it?"

He sees us as family. I couldn't believe it. Vic swiped a tear that was rolling down Kellin's face away. Once he noticed we weren't going to say anything, he stood up and took his glass back to his room. "And that also means I can make you two enroll back into school if I want to."

He closed the bedroom door and I could hear conversations through the wall. 

If things turn out well, I believe that I'd let these four take us in as their own. But, maybe they've already decided to.


	11. ♥11♥

I walked out of the high school building with Vic and Kellin by my side, back to the car where Jack and Josh were waiting in. Alex was at work today; he was a barista. He told me about how he was planning on becoming a tattoo artist after college, which I found fitting.

Jack told me that after Vic enrolls us into school, they'll be bringing us to the mall so we could go shopping for clothes. He said, "I find it sad that you two can't express yourselves since you got your old clothes stolen."

Alex was about to tell him that it was a bad idea to dump a bunch of money on a couple of teenagers they've just met. He replied with a long speech about how money comes and goes and that giving makes people happier and _blah blah blah..._

I was more than ecstatic to go to the mall, I'd never admit it but shopping was my favorite activity and if I had the money I'd probably do it every day. It was the same for Kellin, we loved receiving the opportunity to perfect our aesthetics. And god, I missed my striped shirts.

I had on one of Josh's band tees at the moment, it fit my body awkwardly since it was a larger size, it was even baggy on him. I wanted to borrow one of his chokers, too, but he said that those were only exclusive to himself. Didn't he hear Jack's speech about giving to others?

The three of us got into the car, the exact same one that smelled like cologne and weed. Fortunately, the weed smell had subsided quite a bit since last time. I'm sure it must've been a while since anyone had hotboxed in here. Vic and I were in the backseat beside the windows with Kellin squished between us. I put an arm around him.

"You two are starting school again on Monday, are you excited?" Vic asked with mock cheeriness in his voice. When we gave him half-hearted smiles, he giggled to himself. "Don't be like that, you needed to be around other kids around your age instead of people in college that are probably going to be a bad influence on you." Jack cleared his throat. "Josh."

"You know I would never, ever be a bad influence on a couple teens."

"I know, I was kidding. You're too much of a sweetie." He ruffled his hair playfully and started the car. He turned on the radio and the host began to discuss traffic and which roads to avoid. Nobody seemed to be paying attention until they started to talk about the city's signature news reporters and their deaths.

 _"On Wednesday, April 25th, they had been killed in a burning restaurant. But this fire was no accident!"_ Oh, snap. _"The arsonist seems to have upgraded from setting garbage cans on fire. They had decided to set fire to a small restaurant near the bay by throwing a Molotov cocktail through a window, judging by reports from eye witnesses."_

Josh, Jack, and Vic had begun exchanging glances at each other. Jack took a deep breath and decided to keep his eyes on the road while driving. _"It appears that they had specifically targeted our beloved journalists, how could a human be so cruel? We have brought in our investigators to report on their journey tracking down this criminal."_

Considering the looks on the three men's faces, they clearly knew more about this person than these strangers.

_"Yes, thank you for having us. Judging by the arsonist's choices in fashion such as skirts and heels, we think it's safe to assume that the perpetrator is female."_

"Now that's just ignorant logic." Jack groaned.

_"She was seen speaking to a man beside the restaurant on Wednesday, could this be a lover? Perhaps she isn't working alone."_

"Fucking hell." Jack nearly smashed the power button on the radio to pieces when he switched it off. Kellin and I suddenly felt unsafe in our seats. "Jack, please calm dow-"

"I can't fucking calm down, I'm going to murder that bitch!" I began to pray that he doesn't lose his temper and run us all off the road. "Who really cared about those news reporters anyway?" Josh questioned. "I don't give a shit about those lying bastards, you know what Nico did to Alex?"

Nico? So, he did know who this person was. And Nico certainly did not sound like a girl's name. Before anyone could answer yes or no, Jack began to explain. "Little bitch broke his heart."

"So, that's why he was crying the other night." He mentioned. I wondered how this Nico would break his heart, I mean, he was already dating Jack. Or, at least that's what he's implied. I was so confused, but everyone already seemed too heated, I was afraid to join the conversation and ask questions.

"Yes!" Jack breathed out. "Who would reject Alex? Good lord."

"I don't know! I'm going to find them, and I'll cut them to pieces." Jack grumbled his dark thoughts. I decided to move towards him and tap his shoulder. "That's not... a good idea." I whispered to him. He seemed to instantly calm down once he remembered that Kellin and I were in the car.

"Sorry, hons. This stuff is just really bothering me. Ready to go shopping?" His voice changed to his regular sweet and flamboyant tone. It must be a skill of his to switch moods so fast. "Yeah, we love shopping."

"You're gonna run off to Hot Topic first, huh?" Josh asked us. Wow, I wonder how he could've guessed. "I work there! Along with my internship at a fashion boutique." Jack announced so proudly. How did he not tell me any of that sooner? "You better use your employee discount on the clothes you're getting for them."

I always kind of wanted to work there just to get discounts on all their clothes. It was the perfect goth store, with all the clothes I wanted. I hope it stays that way forever, I'd be crushed if it didn't.

We had finally made it to the mall, which was so much larger than the one I'd usually go to back at home. The sight was fascinating, I already knew that I was going to be having the time of my life in there.

I gazed upon the tall building in front of me the moment we stepped out of the car. When we got inside, I couldn't help but notice how it was beautifully designed and decorated with plants. The first thing that greeted us when we walked in was a fountain. Now, this was definitely nothing like what I've seen back home.

I looked around the scenery in awe. Jack looked over at me like I was crazy. "Are you okay?" He chuckled, putting his arm around me. "It's beautiful in here." I told him. Kellin came up to us and with no hesitation, Jack put his other arm around him. "It really is, but I'm used to it by now. I have to go here at least four times a week."

Imagine _having_ to go to a place like this. "Lucky." Kellin commented. "Not really. Where do you want to go to first?" Jack asked as Vic and Josh finally caught up to us. We must've walked much faster than they did. I was really about to say 'Hot Topic,' but Kellin's eyes darted to the Sephora near the entrance.

"Oh, that's a good one." Jack commented. "Didn't know you were into makeup."

"My makeup bag was in the car that got stolen." He explained. "Let's go." Kellin didn't even look at any of us when he made his way into the store. Jack pulled his arm off me and instead went to hold Josh and Vic's hands. I decided that I might as well rush to Kellin so I don't feel out of place. 

I stayed beside him as he browsed different colors of eyeliner. He picked up a red one and black one, commenting about how he heard it was a good brand. He continued on, looking at the lipsticks. I've seen him in lip gloss before, so I knew nobody rocked it better than him.

"You don't want anything from here, Oli?" Jack asked me. I shook my head. "Kellin and I usually share."

"But I'm usually the one with more on 'cause he doesn't know anything about makeup." My boyfriend smirked. I really, really wish I did, though. "How about you guys?" Jack turned towards Josh and Vic. They looked at him like he had suggested the worst thing possible.

"No way." Josh said. "Yeah, I actually think we're gonna to be going to Vans right now," Vic added.

"Yeah, get out of here. Neither of you are helping with anything." Jack scoffed in a joking tone. I was afraid that they were going to start fighting, but Josh just gave him a kiss on the temple goodbye before he left, holding hands with Vic. I guess I just don't bond with people I care about like that. I certainly don't kiss my friends, either.

I don't know, Kellin and I have always been territorial people. These four seemed so affectionate to each other, it was so sweet it nearly made me sick. Kellin picked up red lipgloss, black lipstick and a small eyeshadow palette with four matte neon colors, one nude shade and one black shade.

"I hope this isn't too much." He handed the items over to Jack, who frowned at the pile of items for a second before perking right back up. "Makeup is expensive anyways, if you're going to get one item you might as well splurge."

The whole package was over one hundred, but Jack covered up the exact price. "I already told you guys to not worry about the money. It's nothing we can't afford."

I really hoped he wasn't lying. Of course, Kellin just nodded at him and didn't seem to care about the prices in the first place. We walked out holding our small bag of items with smiles on our faces.

"Okay, so _now_ we can go to Hot Topic." I said excitedly. I could see the store at the top floor next to a shoe place.

We must've been at the mall for hours. I finally got my pink and white striped shirts back, wallet chains, neon fishnet shirts, fingerless gloves I use to accessorize, and shirts of bands I actually listened to. Jack made a comment about how Alex found every band I mentioned to be overrated. That hurt.

I felt like I had already gotten what I desired, but Kellin just kept dragging the both of us around to every store in the building. Most times, he'd try one at least ten pieces and end up buying nothing. Not that I minded, though. I liked seeing him wearing different items of clothing.

The last place we visited were one of those large stores that old women usually shop at. Jack said that there were some cute dresses there, but as I looked around nothing interested me. "I think a maxi skirt would look cute on you. Since you're tall and such." He expressed, surfing through the skirt options.

"I'd just feel too exposed." And far too visible. Kellin came walking towards us holding a black midi wrap dress. Jack took out a leather skirt and turned towards Kellin. "Oh, that looks so cute." He said, touching the fabric. "Wanna try it on? I know you've never worn a dress before."

Kellin nodded, and Jack looked over at me. "You sure you don't want to pick anything out-"

"Don't peer pressure him, he's just not comfortable wearing that stuff." My boyfriend defended. I knew he secretly wished I'd wear something frilly. Maybe, just maybe I'd decide on it one day. We got to the dressing rooms, and I noticed the whole place was empty. Jack and Kellin decided to go into the same room anyways for some reason.

"Come in with us, we don't mind." Jack gently took my wrist and pulled me into the confined space. They both started to undress before my eyes. Is it getting hot in here or is it just me...?

I watched Kellin as he stripped down to his tight boxer briefs, I wanted to focus on his package, but he was turned the other way.

"You got a pretty boyfriend, Oli." Jack commented. "So, do you, Kells." Both of our cheeks flushed to a shade of pink. Jack threw his jeans on the ground and pulled his skirt on. "You have a really nice, um." Kellin looked at Jack's body in fascination.

"A nice butt? Yeah, I know. I get told that all the time." I looked at his rather built and curvy body for a split second before I looked down at the ground, feeling a bit like a creep. "I don't have assets like that." Kellin pulled an arm through the sleeve of the dress, which went just above his knee.

"Don't beat yourself up for it, I know plenty of guys that are into body types like you." Skinny, no curves, quite short, and a flat bottom. I never really thought too much about his body, I was always focused on his extroverted energy and pretty face more.

"He's already taken." I protested jokingly. "Hey, hey, I'm not at all saying I'm finding him a dude to hook up with." Kellin uncomfortably crossed his arms at Jack's defense. "I mean, the guys I mentioned are at least twice his age."

"Yeah, I definitely don't want to meet them." Kellin rolled his eyes and knotted the tie around his waist to fully get the dress on. "I don't want you to, either. Twirl around." Jack made a spinning motion with his fingers.

Kellin stood on one foot and did what he was asked, the dress flared with his motion. He looked so pretty and pulled off the dress beautifully, he could knock the wind out of me.

"You wear it so well, I didn't think you'd look so pretty. Oli, what do you think?" Jack turned towards me. I went up to Kellin and looked down at him, naturally he started to sway his hips. "I love it." I told him.

"Yeah, you think so? Maybe you could borrow it sometime."

I didn't think it'd look as good on me as it did on him.

We walked out of that store with a leather skirt and wrap dress. "Are we done with our shopping, ladies?" Jack asked, taking out his phone. "I think so, thank you so-"

"You've said thank you every time we left a store, so no need to repeat yourself." He pat my back. We started to make out way out of the mall, I felt a bit sad that our shopping day was over. "I'm gonna call Josh and tell him to meet us outside with Vic."

I looked at his phone for a split second and realized that it was six hours later. Did time really go by that fast?

It was a few minute walk after his call to make it out of the building, and all the sudden some stranger glared at the group of us. "What are you looking at, sweetheart?" Jack tilted his head and smirked in the most attractive way possible.

"Don't call me sweetheart, fuckin' freak." The stranger growled through gritted teeth. Jack looked behind himself at the two of us and gestured at us to step back. We did.

"Yeah? I'm a freak?" He questioned smugly. I started to worry, something told me that he was getting himself into trouble. If he was, I don't think I'd be strong enough to do anything. Jack pet the stranger's hair. "Will you fuck off?" He slapped his hand away from him.

The doors to the shopping center opened, revealing Vic and Josh. "What's he doing?" Josh murmured to himself. "Jack, hey." Quickly, him and Vic stood beside him. "You're the one who started it, buddy." Jack clung onto Josh's arm and pulled Vic closer.

"I didn't think I'd have to deal with your queer-ass boyfriend." The man became increasingly angry for nothing. Jack popped his tongue. "Queer-ass boyfriend? Which one?"


	12. ♥12♥

Kellin and I gave each other confused glances. The stranger looked just as perplexed. "You mean this one?" He pointed at Josh as he hung onto him. "What? You got multiple boyfriends?"

"Yeah." He took Vic's hand. "They could beat you up, and I got another one at home in case we need backup." At this point, the stranger seemed more freaked out than annoyed. "Look, I didn't mean to cause trouble-"

"Of course, you didn't. Now leave me and my partners alone." The man didn't hesitate to get as far away from the trio as he could. "Mother fucker." Jack muttered under his breath. Vic gently grabbed him by the chin and moved his face towards his, of course tilting it slightly downwards so they could meet eyes.

"You can't just tell random strangers about that." He told him. "You could've gotten yourself hurt." Josh added. "But any of us get hurt? No, in fact, I'm pretty sure it worked pretty well to scare him off." Jack rolled his eyes. He didn't feel like he needed to be protected by his boyfriends. His multiple boyfriends, apparently.

I mean, I guess I should've figured that out by now. The one bed thing, the way they act so close to each other, Alex's comment on how him and Jack weren't a couple and how they were a part of something. All four of them were dating each other, I wasn't sure if it was interesting or confusing.

"Come on, let's go home, darlings. Don't forget to bring our clothes." Jack said to Kellin and I. So, he wasn't going to discuss the multiple boyfriends thing at all? I picked up the bags on the concrete ground as Kellin snatched the rest, the two of us followed the trio.

"What kind of stuff did you guys get?" Josh asked the two of us. Trust me, I knew we could probably go on forever about the pieces we've gotten, but that wasn't what we were focusing on that moment. "Layering items, uh, band tees."

"I'm excited to see the outfits you two put together!" Jack grinned, maintaining his grip on his boyfriend's hands. We all got in the car and sat in the same spots we did last time.

"So." Kellin began. I was thankful he's going to be bringing it up instead of me. "You're all dating?" He questioned. Jack pulled out of the parking spot. "Yeah, I started dating Alex after high school ended and, wait! I should give you all a storytime when we get home!" Jack suggested. He sounded so excited to be talking about his partners.

"He's the ball of energy in our relationship." Josh turned towards me. I watched him kiss Jack's cheek. "How could I not be a ball of energy when I'm dating the three most wonderful guys in the world?"

"I'm not-" Josh cut Vic off. "Don't put yourself down, I already told you not to do that."

"Y'all treat me like I'm the baby in the group."

"It's 'cause you are." Jack told him. I smiled at their interactions. I was a bit indifferent at first, but thinking back to their past actions towards each other, I found it so domestic. "I can't imagine sharing my Oli with anyone else." Kellin commented. I nodded. He was all mine, I couldn't bear the thought of him being with another person.

"Polyamory isn't for everyone." Vic stated simply. "It takes a ton of communication and trust."

"So, you're never jealous when you see each other being affection towards anyone besides yourself?" I pondered. It crushed me imagining Kellin kissing anyone else- I needed to wipe those images off my mind. "It's easier to not be jealous when you and your partners love each other equally." Jack smiled.

"I mean, I don't really..." Josh trailed off. "Josh and Alex says they're not into each other but I don't believe them."

"How would you even know that, Jack?" Vic questioned him. "It's my boyfriend senses. I know when my partners like someone." He responded with a sassy tone. "You're making that stuff up." 

"Wanna bet? We'll see what happens within the next few months."

When we got back to the apartment, we first saw Alex sulking on the couch listening to the most depressing rock music I have ever heard. He didn't seem to have bothered taking off his work clothes, either.

The moment he noticed our presence he paused the vinyl and threw off his apron, throwing it onto the couch.

"I didn't know you guys would get here so suddenly." Alex said, smoothing down his hair and wiping away his tears. Jack made a beeline towards him to give him a hug and a peck on the lips. "Why were you whining on the couch listening to music?"

"Since you were taking so long, I thought I needed some me time." He excused. Vic clucked his tongue like he knew he was lying. He joined Jack on comforting him. "Yeah, but why this record specifically?" Josh asked, picking up the vinyl.

"Hey, hey, don't ask. It's good music."

"But you said that you only listen to this when you're depressed-"

"I like the songs, okay?" Alex defended, the tone in his voice was quite irritated. The room went silent. The quiet was ended by Jack chuckling. "See, even they know you're lying." He gestured over to me and Kellin. I knew, but I wasn't sure what Alex was so broken about.

"Okay, fine, maybe I am wallowing. But that's none of your guys' business." He took out the vinyl and put it back into it's case. "So defensive, honey. We didn't try to get into your business." Jack rolled his eyes, going to the two of us and grabbing our shopping bags. "I'll be putting these in the bottom drawer of our bedroom."

"I don't want our stuff to take up space that you need." I expressed, but Jack just smiled. "Don't worry about it, please just keep in mind that we're happy you're here. I mean, maybe we'll move to a bigger apartment, we'll drag you there and you'll have your own room."

We really did have new parents. Four of them, in fact.


	13. ♥13♥

We've lived with these four for nearly a month and their behavior towards each other is very telling. You know which relationships are newer and which are older.

Today was their last day of being Sophomores. They finished off their last exams and they said they'll all be going to a party later tonight with other kids from their college. It'd be the first time Kellin and I will have the house to ourselves.

We both just got back from a long school day of ignoring every single other student there and doing terrible during gym. Vic keeps telling me that it'd be best for me to make some friends, but I disagree. I'm convinced that I needed was Kellin.

And four other people who were four years older than us, but that's beside the point.

Kellin appeared to be making friends with a small group of girls in our school. He's trying to drag me in with them as they walked through the halls, but I didn't want to be around those people. The seemed far too loud and asked too many questions about Kellin and I's relationship. They're always saying things like, "it's hot that a gay emo couple is in our school!"

I'll continue keeping to myself the last two weeks of the school year, thank you.

Anyways, I was a bit scared of not having our four parents around for an entire night. Yes, that's how we thought of them as now. There was no way I'd say it publicly, though. I think I've almost slipped a couple times and referred to Vic as 'dad.'

You can't blame me. He's closer to how a dad should be than my real father.

Josh and Alex were in the bathroom, he was bleaching the roots of his hair. The chocolate roots had begun to peek out and Alex decided that it was time to redo them. "'You think I should dye it?" Alex asked his boyfriend – no, they're not boyfriends. I forgot they were the only non-couple in the household.

"What color?"

"I'm thinking pink." Josh scowled at the suggestion. "I don't know about that."

"Fine, I'll just ask Jack. He'll validate me." Josh pulled the towel off his hair to reveal the freshly done platinum blonde. "Babe, I don't think you should be copying me." Jack called out from the living room.

Jack was sitting next to me, and on the other side of him was Kellin. He was looking through his school yearbook from 2003 so he could show us his absolutely terrible haircut. 

"I support it." Vic came to Alex's defense. "Thank you! At least one of my boyfriends love me."

"We don't love copying each other's hair in this household." Jack rolled his eyes. He looked down at his photo and pointed at it. "See, I used to be emo, too. Still kind of am." He ran his fingers through his mohawk-like hairstyle that was partially hot pink.

"Jack, put that away. I don't want them seeing my photo. Let's go." Alex walked past him to slip on his converse.

"Aw, but you were the cutest boy in school back then!" Despite his protest, he put the yearbook away anyways. "He's on page thirty-three in case you wanted to look at his pretty face." Jack whispered to us before he got up and head to the door.

Vic, Alex, and Jack were leaving to get items for the party later that night, meaning that Kellin and I will be left alone in the apartment with Josh.

I was not looking forward to that.

I don't dislike him, in fact I was very fond of him, and so was Kellin. But that was the issue, I didn't want Kellin to like him too much. He also kind of looks like he could beat us to pulp easily. The guy is tall and wore spikes on his jackets, boots, accessories and everything that'd make your mother disapprove.

He always makes me nervous. Maybe when the three leave, I'll just avoid him and stick around Kellin.

"Take care of our sons!" Jack called out as he followed Vic and Alex out the door. "They can take care of themselves."

"I know, but at least make sure they don't burn down the place or anything."

"We'd never!" Kellin called out just before the front door closed. He quickly grabbed the yearbook and flipped to page thirty-three.

"Are you really that curious about what Alex looked like?" I asked him. He merely nodded and scanned the page. "Aw, look, he's right there. You can't even see his forehead." After Kellin fawned over the picture, a sudden intrusive voice popped into the scene. "I used to have a cut like that."

Kellin and I visibly jumped. "It was a little shorter and looked so much better." He smiled to himself. We both awkwardly looked away from him.

"Why do I have a feeling you two don't like me?" Josh didn't seem at all angry, but rather amused. Well, that certainly was not true, but I felt bad for coming across like that. "I don't know, you just seem like kind of-"

"Mean? Is it because I'm not letting you wear my choker?" He interrupted. I watched him as he walked around the couch and seated himself in the corner, positioning his body towards me. He put down the bottle of hair bleach in the corner of the coffee table. I eyed it curiously.

"I don't think you're mean at all!" Kellin explained himself stressfully. "It's just kind of hard to talk to you..."

"Should I just make some small talk?" He suggested. We shyly nodded and put the yearbook away. He sat so relaxingly, hands resting on his thighs and legs crossed all ladylike. "Alright, so... what do you two want to be when you grow up?"

I thought for a moment. "Not sure..." I trailed off. I so badly wanted to be in a creative field like clothing designer or musician, but my dad always told me I'd go nowhere if I went that route. "I think I'll be a singer." Kellin concluded.

"You'll have to sing for us all sometime, then." Josh said sweetly. "Oh, I don't know... I don't really think I sound good."

"Does he sound good, Oli?" He asked. It feels like people would go to me for answers that Kellin wouldn't give himself and vice versa, I suppose it's because back home it was common knowledge that we were attached at the hip.

"To say that he sounds like an angel would be an understatement." I answered honestly, petting Kellin's pretty hair. The only times I've heard him sing is when he's in the shower and his voice is muffled through the door, when we're shouting lyrics to our favorite bands together, and when he's singing me to sleep. He only did it when I really had difficulty falling asleep, though. If only he did it every night.

I loved the way his voice was higher pitched and the way he sung was so sweet and gentle. I couldn't ever reach that kind of talent, so I don't think I'd be able to become a singer like he had the opportunity to be. Maybe I could get away with screaming, though.

"That's _adorable._ You must really love each other, yeah?" He almost sounded like Jack when talking about love. It was so clear and just so obvious that we did. I couldn't keep myself from smiling. "Aww. I been told recently that you figured out that me, Vic, Jack, and Alex are together?" He quickly stopped himself. "I mean, I'm not involved with Alex."

"Really?" I blurted out. Maybe I've heard to much gossip about how they act like they're into each other, but I'm starting to think they were in love, too. The rest of their partners had mutual feelings, might as well make it come full circle.

"Really." He giggled. "He's the first mate I got when I first moved here and he forced me to live with his boyfriends." His eyes went soft as he reminisced. "Now he makes me help bleach his hair." Josh got up from the couch and picked up the bottle of hair bleach from the coffee table.

"I want to do something with my hair." I said to him. "Me too." Kellin added. We both gave him puppy-dog eyes, hoping he'd figure out what we're asking. Thankfully, he did. "Oh boy." He breathed. "Alright, I'll do your hair since we have some time."

Kellin and I cheered. "Come into the bathroom, what do you guys want?"

I decided that I wanted blonde highlights in my hair, meanwhile Kellin wanted to dye his fringe neon green. "Bold move, I love it." Josh commented. In the cabinet, it appeared that they had many different colors of hair dye, and neon green just so happened to be one of them.

When he pulled the green bottle out, I noticed that it was unopened. "Alex thought he wanted to dye hair this color but decided not to. Kinda sad, I thought it'd be cool." He put on plastic gloves and took a chunk of Kellin's bangs, brushing bleach onto it.

"You think you can do your hair yourself, Oli?" He asked me. I nodded hesitantly, I wasn't very sure, but I was going to do it anyways. I took out the plastic gloves and felt a towel get put over my shoulders.

"Thank you." I said, pulling out strands of hair on my head to lighten. "You're welcome, make sure the sections aren't too large." Josh advised. I was already keeping that in mind, thinking back to Jack's high school photos. He looked... so bad...

"What are you studying for?" Kellin asked as Josh pulled his hair away from his eyes. "Nursing."

"Nursing? I wouldn't have guessed." I gasped, a bit amused. "I always had a passion for helping people, you know? My mom's one and I always wanted to follow in her footsteps."

"That's literally so sweet, I love that. So you and Vic are in medical fields while Alex and Jack are..."

"Alex is studying art, maybe you could tell by all the supplies in the office and the paintings he's made around the house." That explained so much, I thought these guys were just really artsy. "Jack's studying interior design, but he really just wants to be a personal stylist. I guess designing homes will just be a backup plan."

"Do you think you'll let him design your guys' future house?" Kellin asked hopefully. Josh didn't seem so sure how to respond to that. "I mean, if you four ever get married and move in together and stuff... I know you're young and maybe it won't last." He suddenly lost his enthusiasm.

"No, no, I think it'll last. I love my boyfriends so much, you know? But, it's not legal to be married to multiple people in the US." He informed. "And there's only one state where gay marriage is legal, so all that is out the window."

"I totally forgot about that." I mentioned, brushing bleach onto a small section of my hair. "That's so terrible, I think you guys should be allowed to get married just like any other people in love." Kellin suddenly gasped. "Wait, Oli-" He turned his head, which made Josh stressfully move it back into place.

"Don't move your head, you're gonna get bleach in your eye!"

"Sorry!" Kellin apologized profusely. He steadied himself, allowing Josh to thoroughly brush the product on. "I was just going to say, that means Oli and I can't get married. It's not legal, it's so screwed up." He murmured frustratedly.

"We'll get pretend married." I assured him. He gave me a sad smile. "But, it's still not the real thing."

"You two are still young, maybe by the time you're both eighteen it'll be legalized."

"I hope you'll be allowed to get married to your boyfriends someday, Josh." I told him. He finished the section of Kellin's hair he wanted done. "Thank you, won't be too long now." His words were hopeful, but his tone wasn't.

"They seem to really love you." Josh smiled at my observation. "They do. I was originally supposed to just live with in a frat house, but Alex convinced me to stay here." He laughed to himself thinking about. I watched him as he pulled out a plastic hair cap from the drawer. He proceeded to put it over Kellin's head.

"And like, Jack was practically drooling over me, and I thought I totally didn't like him at first but, y'know how things turned out. I loved him, so, _so_ much. Some other guys in the scene usually saw the loud and proud men as annoying, but I find his boldness really attractive."

I put a hand over my mouth to hide my grin. That was one of the cutest things I've ever heard. The couples I've always seen in my family barely even acted like they were in love, but Josh showed it with no hesitation. "That's so cute!" Kellin cooed. "Was it the same with Vic? Did he drool over you, too?"

"Huh? No way, it took me three months to get a date."

"Wow, he played hard to get with you." Kellin teased. "Ugh, yeah." Josh walked over to me. "You need some help?" He asked me as I was working on my hair, which I nodded to frantically. "You can go and relax now, Doll. We'll keep the dye in for thirty minutes and figure out then whether or not we should bleach it one more time." Josh told Kellin. I grit my teeth.

Kellin obeyed and went to sit on the bed and watched us with the bathroom door open. "Anyways, he thought I was just some cocky pretty-boy that'd treat him like a toy, which obviously was not true at all. I went through this long process of trying to woo him. Finally, I got him a bouquet of flowers and he thought they were so beautiful, he finally agreed to go out with me."

"Vic was a tough one, yeah?"

"He's pretty selective with his men." Josh rolled his eyes. "But now I've got him, and now it's my responsibility to protect him and Jack, and Alex too it seems."

"So you're like the straight guy of the group?" Kellin asked, petting his plastic cap. Josh's face scrunched up as he cringed. "Yikes, do I seem like a straight dude?"

"I mean, you're the taller and more macho one, aren't you?" Josh looked so amused at Kellin's assumption. "God, always prepare for inaccurate results if you're trying to assume someone's sexuality from how masculine or feminine they are." Josh bleached a few extra strands of my hair and put on the same shower cap that Kellin was wearing onto me. I looked like a little old lady.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to offend you or anything, I just, I don't know, assumed there would be a... straighter person in the relationship?" Kellin failed to explain himself the way he wanted to.

"Are you and Oli both gay?"

"Yes." I answered before Kellin could. "Well, guess nobody is the straighter person in your relationship. I'm gay. Just as gay as Jack, would you believe that?" He got his gloves off and threw them in the trash. I nodded at him. He smirked at me.

We both walked out of the bathroom and joined Kellin on the bed. The bleach left an uncomfortable lingering pain on my scalp, but I could handle it. "Did Vic and Alex tell you that they were bisexual, yet?" We shook our heads no, I didn't expect that. "Well, now you know."

"You don't have a problem with that?" Kellin asked him. Josh knit his eyebrows at him. "No, way. It doesn't change the fact that Vic is mine and Alex isn't leaving the relationship."

He went over to sit against the headboard of the bed and sighed, closing his eyes. "You two have a lot to learn, we're going to need to get you guys to hang out with our queer friends in the scene. Then, you'll really know what it's like in this community." He smiled. I was instantly ecstatic just thinking about it.

"Like, you'll take us to a gay bar?" Kellin gasped. "Um, I was thinking just inviting them here, but if you would prefer going to a gay bar, maybe I could convince Ash to let you guys sneak in through the backdoor into her venue."

That was a nice thought, going to a gay bar for the first time. The only other gay people I knew was this one kid in our old school that was a year above that I've never spoken to, and random people on the internet. I wondered what it was like to be around others who were like you...

Thirty minutes of gossiping passed and while I was satisfied with the light brown streaks in my hair, Kellin went through another round of getting his hair bleached before dyeing it. It was a bright contrast to the darkness of the rest of his hair, but I wasn't complaining. It looked wonderful and oh so perfectly scene, just how he wanted to appear.

"You like it?" He smiled at me. "I love it, so fabulous." I pecked his lips, the both of us smiled into the kiss. Josh was about to 'aww' at us, but the front door suddenly swung open. "We're home, bitches!" Jack called out as he dropped to the floor with the heavy boxes of beer.

"Josh, we're leaving now! Let's fuckin' go before everyone gets mad at me for showing up late to a party again."

"Just tell them you wanted to get your mohawk perfect." Josh clipped his chain onto his pants and picked up his spiked choker. I eyed it. "I wanna see Vic get wasted again!"

"Do not bring up how I am when wasted!"

"But it's literally so funny!" Alex told him. Kellin and I walked out of the bedroom, showing off our new hair. "I _love_ the new look, emo kids really know how to kill it these days." Jack went towards us and messed with Kellin's fringe.

"Thank you, don't touch." He backed away. "Oh, fine. I don't like it when people touch my beautiful hair, either. Hey, guys, we're going to let you leave the house tonight. Only if you want to."

"Alone? Really, you'd do that?" I asked gleefully. "Of course, you're sixteen and boyfriends at that age need their privacy."

What was that supposed to mean?

"We're leaving fifty for you two, get yourselves a snack. You'll be able to use our car since our friends are picking us up in their own." I couldn't believe that Jack was trusting us this much, but I was so, so grateful.

"Tha-"

"Yeah, yeah, thank you. I get it. I swear, I'm getting you two a job soon." He handed us two twenties and a ten dollar bill. "If it means more nights alone with my boyfriend, I won't mind." Kellin said. I went red.

"Interesting." He smirked. "I'll see you guys soon." Jack planted a kiss on Kellin's forehead and another on mine. Then, he was walking away. "Please, make sure you guys aren't out too late! I'll be worried sick about you two otherwise." He called out across the living room.

"We will! Goodbye!" I said to him. Josh went towards us with his choker in hand. "Before we go, I'll let you have this." He handed it over to me. I looked closely at the leather strap, the metal spikes, and the silver circle dangling from the center. I was in awe at the sight. "Thank you, Josh."

"You're welcome, don't let anyone put a leash on it."

The group from behind him laughed at his joke, but I was just confused. It didn't make much sense to me, but I didn't have the chance to ask for an explanation. He was already walking out with the rest of the gang. 


	14. ♥bridges♥

Here we were again, inside a car. This time, I'll make sure it doesn't get stolen. I put my hands on my neck and felt the sharp spikes of my choker, tugging on the silver circle hanging from it. I still wasn't sure what Josh meant about not letting anyone put a leash on it, but I'll take his advice anyway.

It's interesting having only Kellin by my side for the first time in a while. A part of me wanted to go to the college party with the parents, but I'll give them their alone time with each other the same way they are giving me alone time with my boyfriend. "What do you want to eat?"

"Something from a drive thru, and we'll go around the city and blast music all night." He replied, looking up at the dark sky. It sounds like the perfect date. The world around us was colored with neon bar signs and brightened with street lights.

Kellin grabbed the collection of CDs that was in the case below the radio and shuffled through it. "These are all local bands." He inspected. "Chill Coat, what kind of name is that? Want me to play this one?"

"Go ahead, love." I urged. He inserted the disc into the slot and some piano music started playing. After about a minute wait, heavy electronic music started to play. "Nope, nope, we're too emo for this." He immediately took the disc out and turned on the station we always switched to. It was playing classic rock rather than the music from more recent bands that I enjoyed. Not that I minded, though.

I went to the nearest burger joint and ordered Kellin and I our meals, which didn't cost too much and left us with about thirty dollars left over. I'll make sure I save this.

The next few minutes I searched for somewhere to park the car as Kellin nommed on his food and sang along to 90s RnB after changing stations without a care in the world. Ultimately, I decided on a secluded spot between two buildings.

"It's spooky here." He commented. "I like spooky." I said to him, grabbing my food out of the bag. He was already almost done with his. "I know that, but this is like, a bad kind of spooky." He expressed. "Anyways, you know the bridge you drove on?"

There was a large bridge that went over a large lake not too far from here. "Yeah, you wouldn't stop talking about how pretty it was after we went past it."

"'Cause it _is_ pretty. We need to go visit it."

I wasn't going to argue with that. We finished our food and got out of the car, I double checked to make sure that everything was locked before we began our long walk. The warm air of late May welcomed itself against my skin, even through the neon fishnets I had under my shirt.

It was Friday night, so the streets were still active. I saw random people give Kellin and I strange looks, I know I should have gotten used to being stared at by now, but it still made me uncomfortable. "Are you going to college, sweetie?" He asked me as he gently went to grip onto my hand. I gave his a tight squeeze.

"Probably not." I answered. College just seemed useless to me, I had bigger plans. "I want to study cosmetology."

"You'd do so well." I said to him. After all, he was obsessed with makeup and appearance. We passed by a woman with a flowy long dress and Kellin complimented her on it. She smiled at him, telling him about where she bought it and how good the quality was. The moment she left, I made sure to rush us both away so I could avoid another person.

"You need to put yourself out there more, Oli." He advised. I get it, I really do. I get told that all the time, that I need to talk to more people, but trust me, I really didn't need to. Plus, I was scared of speaking to others in the first place. I'm surprised I even gathered the courage to confess to Kellin, but I'm so glad I did.

After about thirty minutes, we finally made it to the bridge that he was gushing about. He ran towards it, seeming to forget I was right next to him. I quickly followed so I don't lose him in my sight. "This is so cool, Oli! They don't have stuff like this back home."

I didn't think a bridge was something he'd get so excited about, but here we were. I was amused by his excitement, it was adorable. I remained beside him on the sidewalk as he looked around in awe. I decided to take a second to admire the view as well.

After a moment, I looked beside myself and didn't see him there. In a panic, I darted my eyes around the area and caught him holding on the sidebars of the bridge, leaning backwards with his feet on the edge of the platform just moments away from falling into the water.

"Kellin! Don't do that!" I quickly grabbed both his arms and pulled him away from the edge. He giggled as I gripped onto him tighter than I ever have even when I retrieved him. "Givin' me a fuckin' heart attack, love."

"Just wanted to be rebellious, sweetie. Dare me to jump off?"

"No!" I gasped in shock. The people walking past us gave us concerned looks, but wanted nothing to do with what was going on. "I'm just messing with you, but wouldn't it be fun to jump into the water like that?"

"It's going to feel like concrete." I informed. He groaned. "Oh, yeah. Physics." We continued on with what we were doing, holding hands while walking on the pavement of the bridge, watching the cars drive by. It's a beautiful night.

We slowly went past a man, smoking a cigarette. For some reason, he kept glancing at us and knitting his eyebrows like he was inspecting our faces. I started to walk faster in order to avoid trouble. Turns out, it didn't work. "Hey!" He called out to us just as we began to pass him.

I would have ran the moment he spoke, but Kellin, being the sweet boy he is, just had to stop me so we could have a conversation with this stranger. "Hello!" He smiled. The stranger threw his cigarette into the water below the bridge without caring about the possible consequences.

"Would you look at me for a moment?" He asked. "Both of you."

The two of us stood facing him. We gave each other confused glances. "I knew it." He grinned devilishly. "You two are the lost kids."

My body ran cold. This man had no business calling us that. "I can assure you that we are not lost." Kellin smiled, but you could tell his tone was irritated. "Your parents think differently. Look, I got the newspaper with me." He pulled out a cut out piece of paper that showed pictures of our faces. _'Parents pledge fifty thousand dollar reward for lost sons.'_ No way.

They were looking for us already. I didn't want to go back home, I'm happier this way. "I think you got the wrong guys." I excused, backing away. "Don't lie to me." He grabbed our wrists with his strong hands. "I know it's you two."

"Let go of us!" I called out, desperately trying to pull out of his grasp. "You runaways can't get away with this, I'm taking you two to the police station." He roughly dragged us by our wrists as I continued to struggle. Damn my noodle arms.

"Leave them alone, asshole!" An unfamiliar voice called out from behind us. I turned my attention to the source of the sound. A man with dark curls wearing a white t-shirt and army joggers stood there, cracking his knuckles. "Or I'm going to have to put up a fight." He added, seemingly unafraid.

I found his tattooed arms catching my attention first. He was clearly muscular enough to take this guy down. I hope to god he goes through with it and doesn't leave us here. "Huh? You want the money instead, punk?"

"I don't need any fuckin' money. Put the kids down unless you want to end up dead by the end of the night." He wasn't playing. Even I felt small in his presence. As he got closer to the stranger, his grip tightened less. Finally, he dropped the two of us and ran away.

"Yeah, you better run." He said to himself. The man went up to us and appeared to be putting an effort into seeming as nonthreatening as possible. "Are you guys okay?" His voice had dropped its past tone. He had a cool, casual voice, like cold mint or warm coffee.

"W-we're okay. Tha- I'm glad you were there to help us." Kellin thanked gratefully. "It's no issue." We continued our walk, now with the man who saved us. He had his hands in his pockets, occasionally pushing back messy strands of curls behind his ear.

"I'm surprised someone would care enough to defend us." I murmured. "Well, I feel like if you don't want to be found you shouldn't be force to. I'm Jo, in case you guys were wondering." He introduced. Jo. "You don't look like you'd have that kind of name. Reminds me of an old guy." Kellin joked.

"Me too, I should've came up with something better, but whatever." Jo rolled his eyes. "So, I've seen the newspapers. What were your names? Kelly or something?"

"Kellin. This is my boyfriend, Oli." Kellin replied confidently. "Aw, boyfriends. I've got a man, too." I suddenly felt comforted knowing that I was walking with another gay guy. I don't know what it is about meeting someone else in your community that feels like home.

"Is he nice?"

"He is so sweet. Funny, extroverted, amazing jawline." He giggled like a middle schooler who just got her first boyfriend. "I'm on my way to where he'll pick me up, so maybe you'll meet him then. What are you two doing out here alone? At night?" A concerned expression washed over his face.

"I thought we should treat ourselves to a night out after our... roommates allowed us to. They're out at a college party." I explained. What am I supposed to call them? I felt like referring to them as our parents would raise questions. "You live with some college kids? Aren't you both sixteen?" 

"They kind of let us move in with them. Jack said it's fine if we go out as long as we don't get ourselves hurt." Kellin responded. Jo knit his thin, arched eyebrows and began to think to himself. "And he's in college?"

"Mhm."

"Are you talking about Jack Barakat?" He asked. It was at that moment I found out I had no idea what their last names were. I knew Vic's last name was Fuentes after he once went on about how he'd go from Mister to Doctor, but I didn't know the others.

"I don't know."

"The Lebanese guy with the corny mohawk that has pink in it?" He chuckled to himself at his own description. "Sounds 'bout right, why do you ask? 'You know him?" I questioned. "Not really, I know one of his boyfriends, though. Alex Gaskarth."

For some reason, the first thing that popped up in my mind was that Alex had yet another lover, but that was likely wrong. "You're friends?"

"Well, not exactly _friends_. We're merely acquaintances and he does not like me at all." Jo laughed. "He has a thing for my roommate and best friend. The dude thinks that I've always been trying to keep him away from them, but that's not true."

"Them?" Kellin spoke to himself. "The arsonist." He came to his conclusion quite fast. His eyes darted towards me. "That's the person. Don't believe everything they say about them in the press, it's all a bunch of bullshit. Keep an open mind."

"Jack said that they broke Alex's heart." Kellin pouted. Jo shrugged. "I mean, I get where he's coming from. They used to hang out all the time and I was surprised that they never were together, but Nico can't help that they don't want to be in a relationship with anyone. Would've fucked me up, too." We gotten to the point where we passed the bridge and were then on our way to a park.

"You should hear Nico talk about Alex, they sounded really in love with him. I won't pester them about it, though. Not any of my business, unless they're fucked up about it too, in which that case they don't seem to be."

By now, I've gotten real curious about this arsonist I keep hearing about. I want to meet them and have an in-depth conversation. Am I supposed to hate them or not?

"Besides all that, I'm sure Alex is a good person despite how much he thinks I'm secretly trying to undermine him." We made it to a bench that sat on the edge of the park and had a glass roof above it. Jo stopped there, and we did, too.

He yawned to himself, his monolid drooped down lower over his eyes. "This is my stop, he should be here any minute now." He looked around for his boyfriend's car. "Don't get into any fights with Alex." I joked. "I won't, we're past that stage now. I think." He wondered.

A light blue car drove down the road, to which Jo immediately noticed. "There he is." He gestured. It parked in front of us as disco music blasted from its speakers.

"Hey, baby." He went into the car and kissed his cheek. He was tan, had dark brown hair and matching eyes, and his thick eyebrows framed his face quite well. Also, it seems that Jo was right about his jawline. "Maybe I'll see you two some other time?" He said.

"I could give you my number." I suggested, but he just shook his head. "I have this feeling we'll bump into each other on accident, anyways. Dunno, just a gut instinct."

That hurt. I could tell he was just trying to make up an excuse not to talk to either of us again. Kellin and I stood there quiet. "Well, we'll be off. Keep yourselves safe and don't let anyone find you if you don't want it."

He was about to close the door, but stopped himself. "One last thing."

"Hm?" I listened. "Make sure to tell Alex that I wish him the best and that Nico feels the same." Jo's boyfriend glared at him. "He doesn't deserve your respect."

"I'm just trying to be a nice guy. Goodbye, you two."

"Goodbye, Jo." Kellin called back as he closed the door. We both watched as they drove off. "I don't know why, but I feel like I was just hallucinating everything that just happened." Kellin commented, walking the other way with me by his side.

"Did Jo not seem real, or what?"

"Just forget I said anything. I just thought that he was interesting, with how he knew Alex and all that." Kellin brushed his neon green bangs over his ear. It had fallen over his left eye.

I wonder if I will come across him by coincidence like he said. "What time is it?" Kellin asked me. I pulled out my phone, which I changed the number for so that nobody would try to contact me or figure out where I am.

I couldn't even imagine how much my dad must have been freaking out the past month, I didn't care, though. I only felt guilty about leaving my little brother behind, but I wasn't even a good older sibling anyways.

That's all in the past now. I live a new life, one that I prefer much more.

The time on the clock said 10:48 PM, which I told Kellin about. "The night is still young. Let's explore, we can really get to know the city life now." 


	15. ♥15♥

There was no clubbing or anything like that tonight, but we did get ice cream and talked about life together for two straight hours.

We made our disappointing trip back to the car, knowing we might not have another Friday night like this in a while. The streets were more dead than it was during our last walk over the bridge, I remained on guard in case anyone else tried to take us in for a cash prize.

 _Fifty thousand._ I couldn't believe that our parents would pin such a large amount on us. It was fucked, we aren't lost. We're happy and we're free. Kellin and I held hands, walking with tired legs. All we've done the past hour was walk and we were about done with it.

We finally made it to the secluded area where I parked the car, and surprise, it was still there and untouched. I quickly got into it and turned it on. "Wait a second, Oli." Kellin stopped me. He went into the car in put in the Chill Coat CD that he played earlier. "I thought you said we were too emo for this."

"Maybe, but I thought it'd be a good song to dance to." The familiar piano began to play, and Kellin went out of the car and stood a few feet away from it as the music sounded from the radio. He held out his hand. "My prince." He offered.

"Kellin, I don't know how to dance." I told him.

"Me neither. Let's do it anyways, even if we're bad at it. Please?" He gave me puppy dog eyes. With a chuckle, I went up to him and took his hand gratefully.

I spun him around and held him as we rocked side to side. One of my hands positioned itself onto his lower back and the other held onto his. Our foreheads touched and the tips of our noses bumped into each other as we gave into the intimacy.

The music had gotten to the point where it played its electronic noises, and I found this to be a good time to kiss Kellin. It may be inappropriate to slow dance to a song like this, but it didn't matter. We ended up no longer dancing and instead made out right then and there.

I cupped his jaw with both my hands and his tangled themselves into my hair. The kisses were deep and passionate, which made heat run through my body. My heartbeats seemed to slow down with every move we made.

Everything around us evaporated as we created our own little world between us. My hands moved lower down his body and up his shirt, I could feel the hotness of his pale skin. Instinctively, he started to pull me closer.

It was then when I started to mess with the fly of his jeans I fucked up. He sighed and pulled away from me. "You're the best thing to have ever happened to me, Oli." He still held onto both of my hands. "I know, you are, too." I spoke faintly.

"Let's go home." He walked off and got into the car. The CD was still playing, and I noticed that someone was singing with the music. Funny, I was starting to think that this band only did instrumentals.

I was disappointed that tonight didn't lead to how I wanted it, but I won't complain. Kellin had his boundaries, I'll respect them. The time on my phone said 1:20 AM. I didn't think we'd be out so late, hopefully our 'parents' won't get mad at us.

We drove back home – funny. I didn't think I'd ever end up referring to that apartment as home, but I suppose over time, that's how I saw it.

We went up the stairs and got inside. Turns out, the apartment was completely empty. "Where are they?" Kellin questioned. "Must be a really crazy party."

I went to brush my teeth, wash my face, and drink some water as per my nightly routine. Kellin did the same, it was probably more important for him to do it since he was always the one whose face was caked in makeup.

As I was about to go around to turn off all the lights, the door suddenly swung open to reveal an obviously drunk Alex and a sober Vic trying his best to keep him on his feet. "You're still awake?" Jack slurred, his hair was a total wreck atop his head.

"We... got home not too long ago." I told him. They all stumbled onto the couch to rest. "They're not too good right now. Had too much to drink, I probably should've stopped them but they kept refusing." Vic giggled. I pursed my lips awkwardly; I didn't like seeing them drunk. It reminded me of Dad.

"Whatever." Alex croaked out. Kellin went beside Jack, who was sitting on the floor with his head against Josh's knee. Vic glared at Alex, and he stuck his tongue out at his. "Tch. 'Whatever,' it won't be just 'whatever' when you accidentally hurt yourself 'cause you got too wasted."

"Don't get pissy because we made you be the sober one this time." Josh said to him.

"That's not it, you've been acting like I'm a bad person for not wanting you guys to overdose on alcohol or some shit."

"Like we care, Vic." Jack slurred. 

"Well, if you guys respected me - y'know what. I won't repeat myself, you're all just drunk and tired and you're just grumpy. That's it. I'm not having this conversation." Vic huffed, going around to turn off the lights. My nerves calmed down, I'm grateful that at least no yelling began. I went to sit next to Kellin once it went dark in the apartment.

Kellin grabbed Jack's hand and rested his head against it. He began to cry. "What the matter?" Vic went to swipe his tears away, but they continued to flow out. I hugged him from behind.

"Is it 'cause we took the couch? We'll totally let you take our room for tonight since we'd probably puke in it otherwise." Alex joked, but neither of us found it funny. "No, I'm not leaving any of you. We're staying right here."

"Kells, don't get so protective. We just went on a night out."

"I don't like seeing any of you like this. So, _don't_ get drunk again, because I _hate_ it." Kellin whined. The whole room went silent for a moment and he continued sobbing into Jack's hand. "Sweetheart, I don't know why you're getting so mad at us for having fun." Jack's voice somehow remained at a calm tone.

He didn't understand, he just didn't get it. His ignorance made me angry. "He just doesn't want any of you to fall in addiction or anything, Christ, Jack." I held onto Kellin tighter.

"It was _one_ night out." He grunted. "Now, he should stop crying and go to the other room to sleep his frustrations off."

"Nooo." Kellin wiped his tears away and looked up at him. Jack's face seemed to soften. I really hoped that he had some empathy for what he was going through. "Is he just going to sleep here?" Vic asked me.

"We're both sleeping here." I replied. "We're not gonna leave you guys." I thought back to all those nights I had to tuck my dad into bed when he came home too wasted to even speak. Kellin has had those nights too. I didn't want to relive those experiences, even if it was with different people.

"Hey, buddy." I felt Alex pet my hair. I thought about my experience with Jo today, I'd tell him about it, but I doubt he would remember in the morning. It'll have to wait. "If it ever comes down to it you can sleep in the same bed as the four of us. You _and_ Kell."

"I... don't think they'll fit." Vic whispered towards him.

"We can manage." He replied. His head was rested against Josh, who seemed halfway from unconsciousness with the way his eyes were struggling to stay open. Or maybe he was just high as hell. "I jus- just thought of... something." He spoke, words slurred and almost incoherent.

"Hm?" Jack looked up at him. "We never gave them the story time you talked 'bout."

"Oh, yeah! Guys, get comfy. Viccy, baby, turn on the lamp thingy." He giggled. "They don't need to hear our backstory, what we all need is some rest."

"Fuck sleep." Alex murmured, about to fall asleep. "Yeah, sleep is for the fuckin' weak." Josh cheered with his croaky voice. Vic turned towards Kellin and I. "They're super tired. We'll tell you about our love story some other time." I nodded, excited to listen when I hear it. 

"You're all playing." Vic said, getting up to sit next to Josh, cradling his arm. He seemed to be getting so much attention at that moment. 

"We're not sleepy, Viccy." Alex complained. Vic put his arm around him and Josh. "You are, don't lie."

He kissed the corner of his lips as his eyes slowly shut themselves. Josh and Vic seemed to be asleep in a matter of seconds, as well.

Jack, still sitting on the floor, put his arms around me and Kellin. "You two know that we love you, right?" He murmured. My heart did leaps at how he used the word 'love,' but it must be because he was drunk. "Mhm."

"None of us will... do anything to hurt you two. Or put you through any stress..." Jack's voice grew more quiet. His head found itself on top of Kellin's lap. "I know. We love you, too."

He didn't hear me say anything, because he was already unconscious. 


	16. ♥16♥

**(3rd POV)**

The morning after, Vic woke up at 7AM with a light headache, but not something he couldn't manage. As gently and as quietly as possible, he released himself from Jack's arms to get up and shower, washing out any possible alcohol or anything worse that could've gotten into his hair that he didn't notice last night.

He decided that we was going to go grocery shopping like the domestic boyfriend he is. It's been long overdue since he had done it last time, and he wanted his partners (and... sons?) to wake up with a stocked up house so they could maybe cook something that day instead of having to order takeout once again.

When he finished getting dressed, wearing a beanie, sweatshirt, and some black jeans, he grabbed his wallet and walking into the living room. They were all still grouped around and on the couch, sleeping. They needed as much as they could, anyways. He thought about how peaceful his partners looked together and how much they just seemed to fit so well with each other. 

Vic started to feel like they'd be all just the same without him. He felt a bit like shit after how they treated him last night. Did anything he say matter? Did he really matter, because he wasn't sure if they even appreciated him. Vic suddenly didn't want to go shopping anymore, but he realized that it was his house, too.

He picked up the keys from the kitchen counter, the moment it jingled he noticed Oli start to stir in his sleep. He was cradled against Josh's leg, his head tilted causing his bangs to fall over his eye. Kellin leaned against him just as tenderly. Vic watched him for a second before his eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Where are you going?" He asked in a faint voice. Vic bit his bottom lip nervously. "I'm just going to the store. Say that if anyone asks why I'm gone."

Oli gave him a small lip-smile and put his head against Josh once again, allowing himself to fall back asleep. Vic felt his heartstrings pull at each other, and he knew it was weird. There was no real reason to be invested in acting like he was parenting a couple teenagers and there was no real reason to be invested in a few boyfriends that he just started dating during college. He was young. None of it was going to matter.

Vic put the keys back down on the table as he realized that there was no real point of using the car. The store was of walking distance, and he needed the exercise anyway. He had strong arms, not strong legs.

He quickly opened the front door and closed it in such a way that would make as less sound as possible. With a deep sigh and a moment to let the cool winds brush past his long hair, he started to go down the stairs. Vic was disoriented and unsure of what he was doing.

Finally, he made it to the crossroads in front of the apartment complex. The direction to the grocery story was to his left.

He walked forward.

💀💀💀

Oli did say that Vic was out shopping for groceries like he told him to, but nobody take seven hours to buy some milk and bread. Nobody doesn't show up for work because they're getting groceries, either.

The day after, over a hundred calls have been ignored and even more text messages have been sent and unanswered. 

"There's no fucking way he could've just disappeared on us like that." Josh buckled the belt around his pleated trousers. He was going to go off to work at a concert venue soon, he'd stand near the stage, giving crowd surfers a safe landing and made sure nobody in the pit got hurt.

"Were we really that insufferable?" Alex questioned. Josh shrugged. He wondered if he said anything to Vic the other night and pissed him off, so he left, if he did, he wouldn't have remembered. But even during their roughest patches, he wouldn't be gone for any longer than a few hours. What was different this time?

"Oli!" Jack called out to him. He was sitting on the apartment balcony with Kellin, writing poetry. The sliding door was still wide open, so he could hear his name. His head snapped behind himself. "You said Vic was out for groceries."

Oli's heart dropped. "He must've lied to me." He excused. "Or maybe you're lying to _us_ , are you sure you know nothing about his whereabouts?"

"Can we not, Jack?" Alex scolded. "He said he was lying."

"Well, he was the last one who saw Vic. How does he not know at least any hints of where he is?"

"Leave him alone!" Kellin called over to him. "I will when we get find Vic again!"

"Seriously, let's not target him. Or anyone. Vic disappeared abruptly with no warning. How would we know? We wouldn't." Josh explained. "He must've left for a reason."

"Well one of us must've been just an asshole enough to drive him away." Alex said.

Everyone turned to him. Alex looked around like he was being surrounded by the police. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

"Listen, Alex. It's not like you've always been the best boyfriend to him." Josh said. Alex rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like you're any better. You basically had to pressure him into going out with you. Actually, you know something that he's never told you?" He taunted. Josh was curious, but also dreading the answer. "What?"

"The flowers you gave him were fucking ugly. He threw them away the day you gifted them to him."

Josh wasn't sure what to say.

"Well, that doesn't mean a single thing. This doesn't contribute who's fault this is." Jack sighed. Obviously, they knew that all three of them could be at fault, but they didn't want to admit it. The room went silent for a full minute as Kellin and Oli watched the three ponder to themselves.

"It doesn't matter who's fault it is." Alex stated lowly. "How would we know whether or not he comes back?"

"He'll have to eventually, he left his guitar here. There is no possible way he'd leave anywhere permanently without it." Josh responded.

Alex gestured at Kellin and Oli to come over, while the two were reluctant, they decided to walk to the kitchen with the rest of the group anyways.

"If Vic still isn't home for four days, then we're looking for him. And we're going to find him no matter how long it takes." He announced. The whole group agreed to the idea.

Kellin and Oli were obviously stressed about the situation, reason one was because they found people closest to parental figures they've ever had and there's already issues between them, number two was that they couldn't do anything about it. They just had to watch the rest of the family discuss the issue and they all they could do is just sit there and wait until the problems are resolved.

Lastly, it especially stressed them out to watch them argue with each other.

"Listen, we're going to be okay. Everything is going to be the same as it was before." He knew that even he wasn't sure about that. Josh looked at his phone and saw no new messages, but he did see that it was five minutes past the time he was supposed to leave. "Shit, I've gotta go." 

He rushed out of the apartment, and when he got to the parking lot he looked around to catch the small chance of seeing Vic. He didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. just a disclaimer that the poly ship is gonna be kinda 'taking over' the next few chapters? sorry for that if u like totally don't care about them jdksaljkl  
> 2\. i've had a LOT of fun writing the next few chapters but they're kinda messy, i had a bit of difficulty sequencing the proceeding events.


	17. ♥17♥

**(Oli's POV)**

Four days passed. Vic wasn't home.

I silently sat in the last period of school, which was history. I've gotten all my work done in less than ten minutes so I've been staring at the wall for most the time, and while I knew I probably got all the questions wrong, I didn't care. At least I had it all done.

A small slip of paper came into my line of view, slightly startling me. I realized that the girl beside me was passing me a note, she was part of the friend group that Kellin has been hanging around with lately. I forgot her name, I just think of her as 'one of the brunette ones.'

I took the paper and read it. _"Are you still going to Lisa's party on Saturday?"_

I didn't want to go to stupid parties. I'll probably just be standing in the corner, awkwardly eating because I don't know what else to do there. _"I think I'm just gonna spend time by myself, Tay."_ I passed it back.

She knit her eyebrows at the note as she read it, then she wrote down her reply with a grin on her face. _"You're silly, Oli. My name is Katelynne, haha."_

Oh.

_"Haha I was just playing around :P I'm still not interested in parties."_

_"Such a buzzkill. I'm sure Kells will stay around you in case you feel awkward."_ I'm the only one allowed to call him that, did he give her permission or what? _"Sorry... I'm gonna be busy."_ I couldn't think of a reasonable excuse. She glared at the paper for a moment before giving me a forced smile and tossing it on the floor. I should probably put an effort into staying cool with Kellin's friends, but I just didn't want to.

The bell rang and the whole class immediately rolled out of the classroom, desperate to get home. Before I walked out, I picked up the note Katelynne threw on the ground and disposed of it in the trash since I'd feel bad for just leaving it there. As I left, being the last one out of the classroom, I got a message from Jack.

_"omw to pick u two up. we r finding vic."_

I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but I knew it had to be done. The parents had been distant towards each other the past few days, I been wondering if they'll split up. That can't happen, it couldn't...

"Hey, sweetie!" Kellin hopped on my back without warning. Thankfully, I balanced myself quick enough to not topple to the ground and held him up by his legs as he had his arms wrapped around my neck. Everyone around us was staring, but it didn't matter.

"Who's picking us up? 'Cause it was Josh last time, so I thought today it'd be Vi-" Kellin quickly stopped himself and slid off my back. "It's Jack. Let's go."

"But I wanted to wait for my girlfriends." Oh god, no. I didn't want to be around them again. Sometimes I wish I would fit in with those girls the way Kellin did so easily so I wouldn't feel like a dick, but I did a bad job at it. I guess I didn't really fit in with anyone.

"No, I think it's fine. Let's just go."

"Oli, if you don't like them then I'll stop hanging around them if you want." He offered so sweetly. It was tempting to let him, but if he enjoyed spending time with them, then I won't tell him to. We walked through the school halls, holding our backpacks and had our free hands intertwined.

"I'm not going to make you lose your friends." I pouted. "I want you to be happy."

I didn't respond. "I'll distance myself from them, then." I nodded, feeling both like a bad person and relieved. We already saw the car when we exited the front doors of our school, and made a beeline towards it.

"We're going to drop you guys off to put your stuff away and pick up the rest of the boys, then we're going to start our search." Jack stated the moment we got into the car. Strangely enough, it smelled like perfume from Victoria's Secret.

"How are you guys going about this?" Kellin asked. Where on earth would Vic be? He wouldn't have gone far, god I hope he didn't go far. "Ask people around town. Check in with hotels, talk to his coworkers at that car repair place - wait, not even they know where he is." Jack breathed out. "I don't even know where to start."

We got back to the apartment to put away our backpacks and jumped back into the car, now with Josh and Alex in it. They all had unsure looks on their faces. It made me nervous.

"Let's start in the middle of the city." Jack suggested. Nobody said anything when he started the car and began the journey. I saw his hand make itself towards the power button on the radio, but he quickly stopped himself.

"I have a photo of him, right here." Josh took out a digital camera and showed us the photo of Vic, his body was positioned at a three-fourths angle and his head faced directly at the camera. His hair was up in a bun and he was smiling. He looked happy, I imagined how much better things were then than now.

Josh's eyes lingered on the photo like he was desperately longing for something. "I hope to god someones seen him." He put away the camera and sat silently during the rest of the drive. We all did.

It wasn't long until we made it to our destination and we were walking up to strangers, asking them if they saw a twenty year old man with tan skin, brown eyes, shoulder length hair, was five feet six inches tall and had, as what Alex described, the perfect smile and tranquility nobody else could reach.

We were there for hours, and nobody said they recognized him. Until, we chimed into a small coffee shop and showed the owner the photo. "I think he came in here not too long ago." She informed. "Wait, really?"

"Yes, the cute Hispanic man, what was his name? Nick?"

"Vic Fuentes? Does that ring a bell?" Josh asked, relief in his voice. "Mhm, that's the name. He came in with another young man."

All six of us were suddenly alarmed. Who in the world could Vic be with? "What did he look like?" 

"'M sorry. I don't quite remember, I think he had dark hair? Oh, he had brown eyes. That's also something I remember. Had this big smile every time he looked at Vic." Alex clenched his fist at her description. "So, Vic was alone. With another man." He spoke flatly.

"Is that an issue, mister?" She looked at him, confused. "No. Not at all." Alex stormed out of the coffee stop and stood outside with his arms crossed, staring out at the road. Jack and Josh looked at each other before Josh put his face in his hands, groaning.

The owner leaned towards us. "Is your little friend homophobic?"

"He's not, Vic's our boyfriend." Jack told her. She smiled. "I'm sorry I couldn't be much help, but I hope you find your boyfriend. Maybe that man was just a friend, he wouldn't be out on a date when he's already with somebody."

"He fuckin' better not be." Josh murmured. After he noticed his attitude, he perked himself up forcefully. "Thank you so much for your help, ma'am. Have a nice day." He put a dollar in the tip jar and she smiled at him in response. We went out of the shop to comfort Alex.

"The moment we get him back, we're going to ask him to the fuck that person is." Alex proposed. "I'm sure it was just a friend. And who knows, maybe Vic was never here in the first place? She could've gotten him mixed up with someone else."

"We'll see. Let's go, I'm done with wasting my time here. I'm sure he might have found a hotel or something." He started to go back to our vehicle, but Jack stopped him. "He doesn't need us stressing him out any more than we already have, it might be why he left."

"No, it's because he's way too sensitive and worries too much! I'm going to fucking find him." Alex practically shouted at Jack. I heard Kellin whimper at the sight, I quickly put my arms around him and rest my head atop of his. He began to cry into my chest.

Jack just sighed. He didn't know whether to agree or disagree. "Well, if you want to find him that bad, we might as well, I don't know, ask someone who knows everything that's going on in the city already? He could be with other people in our scene."

Alex stopped dead in his tracks. "You're not thinking what I think you are, are you?" He rushed towards Jack accusingly, making him take a step back. "Lexy, I-"

"Literally, don't even fucking say their name. Shit, guess I never even knew their name from the very start! They never trusted me." Alex shouted. "I wasn't even talking about Nico, my god. I was thinking Ash or some shit! Guess ditching your boyfriends for some party bitch for months doesn't always work out for you, huh?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about, I never ditched any of you, you're just overreacting."

"Overreacting? Are you fucking kidding me? You threw me away like I was trash, I felt like shit, Alex! Was I not enough? I just wasn't as petite and pretty like they are?" They both had backed up to the point where they were in the middle of the road. "You're the worst! It's no wonder Vic wanted to take a break, I would've wanted to get away from you, too!" Jack added, rubbing salt into the wound.

People started to stop and watch the scene. Anxiety started to build up within me as I held Kellin tighter. Why are they fighting? Things had seemed so, so perfect and within just a few days it all had come crashing down. My shirt was soaked in my boyfriend's tears by now.

"Don't worry too much, guys. They're just... going through a rough patch. They're both stubborn people." Josh assured as the shouting continued in the background. He put his arms around us protectively, and I wish he'd done it for longer but he had to let go after only a few seconds.

Cars slowed down as they passed the two men, it was like they weren't even aware of their surroundings. "And that's not it, I've known you for how long now? Eighth grade, and you don't ever seem to-" Josh finally had enough by then, he ran towards them as quick as possible.

"Stop. Stop it, now! This isn't productive at all, dammit!" He grabbed them both roughly by the arms and forcefully dragged them to the pavement.. "You can't argue in the middle of the street, you two could've gotten hit!" His voice cracked as he fought his own tears.

Jack and Alex looked at him like they were being chastised by their own mother. "You see, this fighting? It's not good for any of us. If we're going to find Vic, we can't add tension between ourselves."

Kellin wiped his tears away and turned towards the three as he loosened his grip on me. "It's not good for them, either." Josh added, his voice going quieter. Jack nodded at him. "We'll just sort this out later." Alex walked off from the group. The onlookers had begun to start moving on.

"Sort it out calmly, please. Now, we're going to continue our search without fighting."

"Fine." Alex's tone calmed down immensely. Finally. I just wanted to find my other parent, not see the ones I have now shout at each other.

We all started to go back to our vehicle, but on the way, something caught my eye. Standing at the street corner, was someone in all black with their hoodie up. It stood out to me, there was no reason someone should be in that attire during this hot weather.

The figure must have noticed me looking, because they turned around and walked off when we made eye contact. If only I could make out a face under the shadow of that hood.


	18. ♥18♥

Josh walked back from the car repair shop where Vic worked, we had assumed that maybe he stopped by there recently. He had his head down, so it was clear that he didn't get any good news.

"What if he's dead-"

"Kellin, stop it." Alex snapped, not in a full on angry way, but a more passive aggressive one. I gave him a dirty look, I really, really, did not like how he was acting. Is this his true colors or is he just in a bad mood? Either way, I don't want him talking to Kells like that.

There's too much tension right now, it almost makes me want to run away again. I wasn't going to escape from yet another home now, and I knew that this may just be a phase that everyone was going through. I'd express my concerns, but I was too scared to.

Josh got into the drivers seat since he switched places with Jack earlier and looked around at us. "Surprise, everyone _still_ has no idea where he is." He huffed out. "He was supposed to come into work the past two days and he didn't, so I reckon he's not gonna still be havin' that job when he comes back."

"Is this all really because of us?" Jack questioned. "He just disappeared out of nowhere and nobody has seen him, did we take so much of a toll on him that he needed to, like, isolate himself?"

"Maybe he got other stuff going on in his head that we didn't know about."

"And we seriously didn't consider the possibility of that?" Josh sat back in his seat. We remained in that parking lot for a good while, thinking to ourselves. Although, it was probably just Josh, Jack, and Alex that needed to do the thinking.

"Oh em gee, I feel like shit." Jack murmured to himself. Josh went to kiss his temple in order to soothe him. "Okay, no more wallowing. More focusing."

"Josh, Alex, literally what if he doesn't want us back? What if we screwed up so much he decided that he doesn't want anything to do with us anymore?"

Nobody said anything against that, because we all knew it might be the case.

Josh pulled out of the driveway after a minute. "Hopefully he's at a hotel like we guessed."

"Or maybe at a friend's house." Alex suggested. "No, I don't think so. His friends around here would be his coworkers and two of his exes. We already know the people at his job don't know where he's at and why would he hang out with an ex?"

I suddenly perked my head up at the mention of Vic having a previous relationship with someone in this city. For some reason, I just imagined that he started dating Jack and Alex immediately after he moved here, but that it appears that wasn't the case. "Didn't know he had exes."

"He's cute so he can basically get anyone he wants. He dated this dude the summer he moved here but they broke it off around the time college began, then he had this short fling with some other person that he never talks about. Don't know why, but he said that it just wasn't that important of a relationship."

Well, that was interesting. "Didn't the lady from earlier say that Vic was in the coffee shop with someone who had dark hair?" Alex pointed out. Josh nearly stopped the car when the moment of realization hit him. "Oh. My god." He breathed out.

"I can't do this. He doesn't love us anymore."

"Jack, calm down."

"I can't calm down, this is our fault." He whimpered. "I been putting this off, but I'm gonna try calling him. Again." He said to us. It was probably our best bet by then after so many failed searches. Josh continued driving to the first hotel to visit, though.

Nobody answered his call. Jack growled and threw his phone on the car floor, resisting the urge to pound it into the ground.

After checking in with six hotels and six more motels, we had basically lost hope. None of the receptionists or any attendees had any idea of his whereabouts. Of course, of course.

It was almost midnight by the end of our search and we decided to just go home. The only thing we could do by then is just pray that he was still alive, and maybe even hold onto the hope that he didn't want to leave our family. We needed him here.

The five of us dragged ourselves into the apartment, and while it was full of people, it somehow felt vacant. Josh went to throw an empty beer bottle into the trash as the rest of us settled ourselves on the couch like we were going to have a group meeting. We probably were.

"So, if we ever do find Vic and he tells us that he doesn't want to be with us anymore, we're going to respect his decision, right?" Josh spoke with a flat tone as he clearly didn't seem to enjoy the thought. Alex and Jack nodded.

"Will the three of you guys even stay together, anyways?" Kellin asked. Our 'parents' seemed pretty alarmed at the question. "What? Kellin, of course. What makes you think other...wise...?" Jack seemed to have figured out the answer to his own question in the middle of saying it.

"You just have been acting like you don't like each other recently, I don't know what's going on." I added. The three looked at us, concerned. Alex scooted closer to Kellin and I. "Listen, I'm so sorry you guys have to go through this with us." He spoke faintly. His gaze pierced into me.

"And I didn't think we'd come across like that. Don't ever think we don't like each other-"

"It's just been a rough past few days." Josh brought up. "Yeah, so don't get us wrong. We love each other, but we..." Alex trailed off. " _I_ have been really stressed out lately, so I been snappier than usual, and I... don't mean to be."

"We care about you two with our entire stupid hearts, you know that? Don't forget it, ever." Jack told us. The five of us pulled together into somewhat of a group hug. "And you promise you guys still love each other?" Kellin asked.

The three boyfriends looked at each other. "Uh, yeah?" Josh sounded like he thought Kellin was being crazy for thinking they weren't. "Like I said, we been going through a rough patch. This kind of stuff happens in every relationship, even yours will someday. No matter how perfect it is right now."

There was no possible way that anything as bad as this could happen between us, I wasn't sure what could go wrong. "I think that's enough, um, emotional baggage for today. Goodnight." Alex stood up.

"Wait." Kellin stopped him. "Remember when you said that me and Oli could sleep in the same bed as you guys when it comes down to it? Like, just in case we needed companionship or something?"

Alex knit his eyebrows. "No...?" He trailed off. Kellin sat back, disappointed. "Hey, that doesn't mean we won't let you. What do you guys think? Would this work?" He turned towards Jack and Josh. They nodded.

Believe it or not, we all fit into that same bed perfectly. 


	19. ♥unlovable♥

**(3rd POV)**

The same guy that Vic had went to a coffee shop with was dropping him off at a motel. "It's probably best you stay here instead, I don't want them knowing that you were at my house the past few days." He said. Vic smiled at him. "You're right, are you sure you should be paying for my stay? I mean, I can afford it myself."

"Just take the money, goodness." He rolled his eyes playfully. Of course, Vic wouldn't turn down something free, although he felt a bit guilty. "Thank you, I'll see you again soon, right?" He held onto the dollar bills that his friend gave him. "I hope so." He responded before driving off. Vic watched until the car was completely out of his sight.

He was Vic's ex, one of them anyways, but they preferred to refer to each other as an 'old friend.' They hadn't spoken in a real long time since at least one of his boyfriends would get mad when he even mentioned him. So, they've been distant. That doesn't mean he was going to completely blow Vic off when he was at the front door of his apartment with tears in his eyes.

He walked into the motel and booked a room for one night, his stay would be over by 10AM the next day. "Y'know, I think your friends have been searching for you." The receptionist mentioned. Vic already knew that, his friend told him. It was the reason that he decided that he should come back home in the first place. He said that they were torn up without him, but he wasn't sure _how_ he knew they weren't doing okay. They didn't speak to each other.

"Yeah, they been going around asking people about me." Vic responded, feeling a bit guilty. "They asked me a few hours ago if someone under the name Vic Fuentes has checked in, funny how you ended up here later, huh? I think you should call them up and tell them you're okay."

"They'll know soon. I just needed another night to myself, thank you." He quickly walked off from the kind lady to avoid hearing more about the topic. He somewhat knew that they'd be torn up without him, but he didn't think they'd actually put in the effort into finding him. Did they really care about him that much? Did they?

Vic went into his room that had a suspicious stain on the wall and random empty candy wrappers beside the bed. It didn't matter, it's not like he'd be there for a while or anything. He went to his bed and put his wallet on the bedside table, then he took out his hair tie, letting his brown waves flow down before he crashed onto the mattress.

Without warning, tears started to flow down his face.

By itself, that night where his boyfriends completely blew off his feelings wouldn't cause him to leave. But, after he's had so must frustration built up inside him, he snapped and stormed out. All those times he felt like his partners are taking him for granted, god, he's felt like a burden. He didn't plan to run off at first, but the urge overcame him.

It's been a peaceful past four days without having his boyfriends suffocate him at every waking moment, he was beginning to feel like being with multiple people was too much for him. Did he prefer the feeling of being 'free?' He had needed the time alone and think to himself. To know how those thoughts of exiting the relationship would feel like when he's not in the middle of it.

He's spent it all wondering if they really did give a shit about him. Would they even care that he's gone? Shit, maybe they realized that they were better off without him. And initially, Vic thought that he'd be better off, too. But he wasn't. Even when his friend would hold him at night recently, it'd still feel lonely. The warmth of one person wasn't enough, and more importantly, it wasn't the warmth of the specific men he's come to love.

The bed he was crying on in the motel room smelled like chlorine instead of minty breath, aftershave, or drugstore cologne. Nothing felt right. He's left his heart at that small apartment three blocks away from the college he attends.

"God dammit." Vic wiped his tears away frustratedly, he couldn't believe he was crying. "I'm so fucked up."

He began to wonder to himself as to why he was studying to become a psychologist when he needed one himself. He always had been a bit of a self deprecating person.

Vic knew needed to go back home, and if his hopes were correct, his three partners would welcome him with open arms. There was no possible way he was going to leave those who supported him like no other, he wasn't going to leave the three that he supported and loved with his entire soul. They're what he lived for. And if they promised to show him more appreciation and give him some space for once, he wouldn't hesitate for even a second to take them all back.

He turned off the lights and snuggled under the sheets, his head resting on a pillow and his arms cuddling another as a placement holder. It's been a while since he's slept alone.

The next morning, he finally responded to Josh after over ninety-nine ignored messages, giving the address to the motel he was at.

He just hoped to god that they missed him as much as he missed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has nothing to do with anything but vic gives me so much bottom energy idk how hes the top in every single fic.


	20. ♥20♥

**(Oli's POV)**

As you could imagine, we were on our way to a motel at 8AM in the morning. Josh shrieked when he saw the notification on his phone, which instantly woke us all up.

Vic was okay, he was alive. And he wanted to see us again. The visit wasn't going to be something we were going to wait for, so we made our way to him as fast as possible.

"Is he just letting us visit him so he could break up with us, though?" Alex blurted out loud. "He could be with his ex!"

"No, no, not possible. There's no way he could stand a chance against all three of us." Josh said smugly.

I already perked up the moment I saw Vic standing at the front doors of the motel. "Oh my god, look. There he is." Josh fawned like he was his fangirl or something. He parked the car and the moment we got out the car we made a direct beeline towards him.

His hair was up in his usual bun, but also clearly uncombed. A flannel I didn't remember him ever wearing hung loosely over his shoulders "Vic!" Jack ran and practically glomped him, he almost fell on the ground.

Soon enough, we were all holding tight onto him, and we haven't exchanged our first words with each other. But, we didn't need to say anything. We were reunited and that was all that mattered. I couldn't believe my parents are back together. I've never been so freaking _ecstatic._

"Viccy." Josh murmured into his hair. "We missed you so bad, seriously, don't disappear on us like that again."

"'M sorry." Everyone decided to stop suffocating him to let him speak. I back away, smiling excitedly at him. Kellin's gentle grip on his hand lingered for a moment before he let go. "I'm better now, though. And I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not leaving us?" Jack smiled. "Oh my god, never."

"Right, you're stuck here with the three of us forever, remember that."

"I wouldn't want to be stuck anywhere else." Vic laughed. He turned his attention towards Kellin and I, his face softened. "I hope these three didn't annoy you guys, that's usually what happens when I leave them alone with anyone."

I chuckled at him. "No." Besides the never-ending stress? I think Kellin and I were good. "Vic, we really thought something really bad happened to you." Kellin expressed.

"Did you guys really get that worried about me?" His voice went lower. "Yeah, duh. Considering the fact that you left no traces of your whereabouts anywhere. We're your boyfriends, Vic." Jack then gestured towards me and Kellin. "I mean, they aren't, but even then, they care about you too."

He shot us a look, searching for confirmation. We nodded. Vic looked down at the ground, suddenly feeling guilty and ashamed of himself. "Don't feel bad, you're here now. You're with us, you're home." Alex comforted, putting a hand on Vic's shoulder. Vic looked like he wanted to slap his hand away, but to my surprise he held onto it instead.

"I love you all, so much." He said, eyes darted towards each and every one of us. "We love you, too. Really, you're the best thing that-"

Someone suddenly cleared their throat behind us. It was one of the motel attendees. "I need to get through." She spoke politely. "Excuse me, we're having a moment-"

"Jack, be nice. Sorry for blocking your way." Vic urged us all away from the front doors, letting the woman enter the building. "Let's be sappy with each other somewhere else."

"Ugh, yes please. You also clearly need a shower and some more sleep." Josh put an arm around him as he lead him to the car.

We got sappy during the entire car ride as Vic was sitting on Alex's lap in the backseat since there was nowhere else for him to sit. I asked Alex if it was going to be an inconvenience to him, but he just laughed at me and said that it wouldn't be since Vic was 'lightweight and portable.'

He also carried him up the stairs princess style, easily. I wasn't strong enough to do something like that with Kellin, but maybe one day I'll get buff and I could do it all the time.

"I missed this stupid apartment so bad." Vic commented the moment we walked through the front door. Jack gently put him down on the ground. "The stupid apartment missed you, too."

Vic smiled, basking into the familiar environment that he hasn't stepped into in a while. "It does feel good to be back."

"Oh, that reminds me." Josh put on his announcement voice. "I have been thinking that now we have Vic back home, we could celebrate? You know, at our favorite spot?"

"The gay bar?" Alex asked, already excited. "Yup."

"Oh my god, yes! It's been way too long, I love the community there." Vic beamed. Josh looked at me and Kellin. "You two look scared. I thought you wanted to go to a gay bar."

"It'd just be our first time." I responded happily. "Well, there's a first for everything." He winked. "Technically you have to be eighteen to get inside and twenty-one to drink, obviously. But, we're close to the owner of the bar, so we can most definitely sneak you in there." Josh told us.

"I literally can't wait." Kellin's eyes seemed to sparkle. I wasn't even sure what a regular bar was like, I couldn't even imagine how this one will be like. For some reason, that just got me more excited.

"It's a plan. Tomorrow night. I'm sure the patrons missed us." Josh grinned cockily. "We're always the life of the party, our fellow queers love us there." Vic said.

Why did I feel like 'the life of the party' meant that they're going to end up destroying at least one thing?

"Anyways, I'm going to go shower and finally be able to use actually good shampoo and conditioner." Vic walked off. "Are we going to cuddle afterwards?" Jack asked with a purposefully sweet and innocent voice.

"We can cuddle whenever you want, I'll probably be napping right when I get out of the shower." He smiled. Vic then pulled off the flannel he was wearing over his regular white t-shirt and carried it into the bedroom. Josh knit his eyebrows at him. "Where'd you get that?"

Vic bit his lip and thought to himself. "I realized I didn't have enough clothes to last me a few days, so I just thrifted this real quick."

He closed the door behind himself and only a few moments later, he started the shower. 


	21. ♥21♥

When I was having difficulty finding an outfit for our night out, Jack kept telling me to just wear my fishnet top with nothing over it and tight jeans. He thought it was simple but so effortlessly fabulous. I thought it was too much. There was no way I could wear something like that.

Anyways, I ended up wearing a neon fishnet top with nothing over it. I liked the outfit, it matched Kellin's and his hair.

"Look at you." Kellin laughed when he first saw me in my clothes. He had on the wrap dress he got when we were out shopping and looked absolutely stunning. His makeup was a simple black smokey eye and red lip, obviously done perfectly. Could your man pull that off? Doubt it.

"Might as well go all out on a special occasion." I said, walking up to him to give him a quick peck on the lips. "I think we all look nothing short of amazing. We're going to blow everyone away, trust me." Josh waltzed into the room happily after styling his hair in the bathroom the past twenty minutes. It looked the same as it did before he entered it.

He was wearing a cheetah print button up, the top three buttons were undone and he had lightly applied eyeliner for a less put together aesthetic. Alex had on a mesh top where his entire torso was visible, like mine. Vic had on black overalls, combat boots, and nothing else. Seriously, I don't think he was wearing a single thing except socks under those two items.

Jack's outfit was taken straight out of a dominatrix's closet with that leather miniskirt and matching dainty leather crop top. It fit him pretty well, though.

"Who's going to be the sober one tonight?" Josh asked. Jack rolled his eyes at him. "You, obviously. You haven't been the sober one the last six outings."

"Fair enough." He replied, disappointed.

Kellin and I giggled at their bickering. "I should put makeup on you." He commented. I smiled at him and nodded. "Hey, guys, can I take a moment to put some eyeshadow on Oli?"

"We're in no rush." Vic replied. "Actually, Vic, we are in a rush. This is the first time we're going to Ash's bar in two months and we're going to show up late?"

"Correction, fashionably late." Kellin smirked. He ended up lightly tracing around my eyes with black eyeliner and blended out red eyeshadow on my undereye. Maybe I did want to him to give me the most out there look possible, but I knew if I told him he was going to go a bit _too_ out there.

"I still can't get over what you're wearing." He said, applying coats of mascara on my luscious lashes. "I told you, we might as well go all out."

"But, wow, it's not something I'm used to. I can see your nipples."

"Don't point it out!" I covered my chest jokingly. "I'm not judging, show them off. Please." He smiled, capping the bottle of mascara and putting it into his makeup bag. "I heard the word nipples and I'm suddenly interested." Jack chimed in.

"Well, don't be, cause he's talking about Oli's. C'mon, we've waited too long." Alex put a purse over his shoulder and left the apartment, we all trailed behind.

It took a lot of convincing Ash to allow us to sneak into the venue through the backdoor, but we eventually got her to warm up to the idea after Kellin told her that we worked too hard on our makeup and outfits to not be able to show it off.

Ash was the cool lesbian with a shaved head and red dyed hair that owned the bar. She was in her early forties and treated every regular like her own child, our parents seemed to have been pretty close with her considering how fondly they've talked about her in the past and how motherly she acted towards them.

It didn't take long until she was hugging on both me and Kellin and saying that she's happy to welcome us here. "Thank you so much, Ash. You're the sweetest." Alex gleamed at her. "No problem, just don't leave them by themselves so they don't get into any trouble with anyone else."

"Trust me, I'd freak out if I lost sight of these two." He replied, putting his arms around the two of us. I shyly smiled at her. She brought the six of us to the back of the venue and used one of the keys she had hidden in her pocket to open it.

"One last thing." She said before we even got the chance to even step inside. I could already hear the 80s disco music and the sounds of loud conversation. "If you allow them to drink any alcohol, you're all dead."

Vic, Alex, Josh, and Jack glanced around the area nervously. "That's not going to happen." Josh assured. "Well, if that's the case. Have fun. Everyone missed you."

The sounds of pure energy grew louder as he paced through a dark hallway and into the main area that was full of people. There were colorful lights, a bright dance floor, and a bar that had a pride flag hanging right above it. Everyone looked like they were having the time of their lives.

A group of people's eyes suddenly darted towards us an immediately they started cheering out of nowhere. "You're back! Where've you been?" A girl with brown, yet bright eyes shouted through the loud music. The rest of the group followed behind her, hugging on the four that we were accompanied by.

"You know, college shit." Vic answered back, the volume of his voice matched hers. "And we were kind of busy, 'cause we found a couple boyfriends and took them into our house! Their names are Kellin and Oli." Josh announced proudly.

"So I've heard! They are literally so adorable, welcome to the scene!" She held her hands out for us to shake it. "How'd you find out already?"

"Word travels fast around here! So if you ever do something shady, don't even think you can get away with it." She chuckled innocently. Her tone was cheerful, but her words were... threatening. "Oh, you look scared. Don't be! Just don't backstab anyone."

Alex became uneasy.

"Okay, um, Alissa, I think we're going to go now, gonna chat with some old friends and let Kellin and Oli get to know some people around here. It's nice seeing you again." He politely excused. Her and the group she was surrounded by looked disappointed. "Alright, we'll see you around?"

"Aw, well, I'll meet with you later!"

"We'll see you later." And then, quickly we made our way to the dance floor. There were so many people around us, dancing without a care in the world and laughing with each other. I watched the four exchange fist bumps and high-fives with people I haven't seen before in my life, it seemed like everyone knew their name here.

"It's getting pretty packed here, lucky night for Ash, huh?" Vic joked. "Hell yeah, the energy in here is wonderful! I missed this shit so bad."

Josh turned towards me, my arm was protectively around Kellin. I had this weird feeling that some people were looking at him in a way I didn't want them to. "I know Ash said not to let you guys on your own, but really, you shouldn't need to follow us around like lost puppies." He joked. Was it a bad thing that we were? We're surrounded by people we don't know.

"Go ahead, mingle, we're not going to stop you. I'm going to get going now. Gotta make sure my boyfriends don't get into trouble since I'm the, _ugh,_ sober one tonight." He explained. Then, before we knew it, he was gone. And the two of us were lost in a sea of strangers.

"What do you do in clubs?" Kellin asked awkwardly. I shrugged. "Dance or something?"

"Yeah, yeah. Good idea." He started to stiffly move his body to the music. I did the same. We went on doing this for the next five minutes before we realized we were likely making fools out of ourselves.

"Maybe we should just sit down." I told him. He nodded in pure agreement and we went over to the bar to sit, not to order any drinks or anything. There was no possible way we both could pass off as over twenty-one, even if we did have fake IDs. Plus, that stuff looks like it tastes disgusting. 

"Maybe this just isn't our style." Kellin said, staying close to me so I could hear his voice. "I know, right? We do not fit in." I looked around the room nervously. Everyone looked so cool, I wish I could just start a conversation with someone and not get scared.

Kellin huddled closer to me, allowing me to put my arm around him again. I thought it'd be a relaxing moment, but my attention was caught by a duo and bartender that kept eyeing us. They caught me staring and giggled to their selves, exchanging worrying whispers.

I decided not to focus on it. "Maybe we should find Ash. She could tell us who to meet around here."

"Yeah, let's-" I cut myself off when I noticed the three started to approach us. Oh no. This is not good. "You two look so tense." The bartender with bleach blonde tips commented. "Do you need a drink?"

I knit my eyebrows at him suspiciously, causing him and his two friends to laugh. "I have no hidden motives, trust me. But you guys clearly need to loosen up."

"It's always the couples, dude." His friend stated. "All the fuckin' time. What do you guys say?" He turned towards us. While we were hesitant, we nodded anyways. He smiled and went to the fridge, pouring a mix of two red liquids and handing the glass to us. "Not much alcohol in it, it'll just taste like strawberry punch. But, if anyone asks you, just say it's Kool-Aid."

I gave him a small lip smile and took a sip of it. I thought it'd be easy to get down, but even with the small amount of alcohol my face scrunched up. Kellin gestured towards his mouth, and I instinctively put the rim of the glass to his lips and poured it myself. "That's so good, oh my god." 

He took the container from my hands and took another long sip. "Yeah, thought I'd take it easy on you, since you're clearly a, y'know, beginner." The bartender smirked at his friends. "Mhm. This is our first drink."

"First ever? How old are you guys?"

I pursed my lips at him. "Definitely not old enough to drink." I smiled. He clucked his tongue. "Well, that's obvious. I already gave you a drink, it doesn't really matter how old you guys are to me."

"We're sixteen." Kellin replied, continuing to down a bit more of our drink, or I suppose his drink. 

Their jaws dropped in disbelief, and then they began to laugh. "Damn, I knew you were going to be a bit younger, but not that young. Seriously, aren't you two still struggling with algebra?"

"I'm not even taking an algebra course right now." Kellin grit through his teeth. "Honey, it was a joke. What I'm talking about is how, oh my god. You guys live with Jack and his boyfriends, right?"

I nodded at him. He snapped his fingers and looked at his friends whose faces were a mixture of disappointment and shock. "Seriously? They're stooping that low? They're going after teenagers?"

Their words confused me. What did she mean that they were going after us? "Kiddos, I suggest you stay far away from them."

Suddenly, I knew what they meant, and it pissed me off. "What? No, they don't see us like that. They're like our parents." I defended. This just seemed to make their reactions worse. "Okay, well, everyone has their own methods of grooming."

"You really think they'd do that? I mean, they're freaks, but they don't give off that... creep vibe."

"You never know, Adie."

Literally, I believe my ears. There was no way they're actually suggesting the possibility of them grooming us. They don't see us that way, they treat us like their kids. "We are not being groomed." Kellin said.

"Even if you aren't, I still suggest staying away from them. I swear, anyone who gets close to them ends up developing the same bitchy attitude."

Well, I never thought any of them came across as bitchy.

"I mean, look at Josh. He's super sweet, not to mention hot, and he's only been with them for a few months so it's too early to tell, but he's probably going to start changing as a person. Jack and Alex just kind of do that to people."

"What about Vic?" Kellin asked. He seemed to be totally fine. "Vic's not bitchy – sometimes. But, he's shady as fuck. Then again, they're all shady."

"I heard Jack is the one that started the rumor about Anya having herpes." Seems like something he'd do.

"Yeah? I heard Vic is conspiring with his exes and that he secretly hates his boyfriends." Sounded plausible.

"I heard Alex is secretly the arsonist."

"Okay, well, that one isn't possible, because-" I stopped myself. Why should I even be listening in on this conversation? I should be walking away so I don't have to hear them trash talking.

"Either way, they're shitty people. Just take my word for it, I used to be close friends with them. And for the love of god, run away if they start to seem romantically interesting in you two at all."

I would just give up on everything if I had to run away a second time. I groaned and instinctively chugged down the rest of the mixed strawberry drink, after every gulp I thought I was going to puke it all back out, but I managed. Kellin looked at me, looking a bit irritated. "I'll get you two a free refill."

By the time we were halfway through the second glass, I noticed that my eyesight wasn't as clear and my head felt loose. I was buzzed, I have wondered what being drunk would be like but I didn't know it'd be like this. Kellin looked at me, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm totally fine." He's drank as much as me, how is he not as tipsy as I was? "Already feeling intoxicated? You're a total lightweight." The bartender commented after tending to a group of people at the opposite end of the bar. I looked over there and noticed people cheering Alex on as he downed three shots in a row.

"That looks fun." I laughed. "You'd be passing out on the ground after one shot, Oli." Kellin replied sassily, drinking half of what was left of our glass.

The effects had started to strengthen on me, and after Kellin finished the rest of the drink, he was only a bit buzzed. My body started to sway from side to side and I struggled to steady my head. "You okay, sweetie?" Kellin wrapped his arms around me and kissed the corner of my lips. "I'm fabulous."

Kellin giggled. "Me too." He stood up and took my hand, bringing me to the dance floor. The intimidating faces and the overstimulating music and lights had become fuzzed out, and things didn't seem so scary anymore.

I twirled him around and pushed him closer to me, it was like the dance we had during our night out a few days ago but a bit more messy. Less romantic, too, but at least it was fun.

My other hand was grabbed by a stranger and they spun me around like I did with Kellin. They smiled at me in pure joy, like I was a jewel. Their eyes were the color of dark honey, juxtaposing the shimmery red that lined them.

Just as soon as they grabbed me, they released me back to my boyfriend, and I resumed dancing with him. I began nipping at his neck, which made him laugh. "Oli... that tickles!" He whispered into my ear.

He pulled my mouth away from his neck and started to kiss me, occasionally biting on my bottom lip. Naturally, I started to grind on him, and this time, Kellin wasn't pushing me away. "Let's, um..." His voice shook, I guess even the alcohol didn't loosen him up enough for this moment.

"Yeah, should we go into the bathroom?" I whispered, hands still gripping at his waist. "Only if no one is in there."

Surprisingly, there really wasn't anyone in the bathroom. We both decided to give ourselves privacy in one of the stalls anyway, the moment the door shut I was already moving my hand below Kellin's dress.

"Are you going to be the one, y'know..."

"If you want me to, of course." I replied to him. He smiled and kissed me, then gently pulled away to allow me to sink to my knees as he pulled up the skirt of his dress. He had on tight short briefs that allowed you to easily see the outline of his half-hard cock.

I licked at it through the fabric, causing Kellin to nervously breath out. It was hard to tell if it was out of pleasure or because he was uncomfortable, but I was going to make sure I made this as comfortable for him as possible.

My thumbs went underneath the waistband of his underwear and looked up at him with innocent eyes. "Is this okay?" I asked. "Y-yes." He stuttered. He looked so cute when he's all flustered like that.

Finally, I pulled it down to reveal his pretty dick. I grabbed it with one hand and slowly started to pump him. I looked up at Kellin for reciprocation, and he was still holding his dress up, biting his lip and avoiding eye contact. "Look at me." I told him. He did what I said and gave me a small lip smile.

I thought back to all the gay porn I've watched alone at night before we traveled here. It was pretty much my only exposure to sexual content, so I thought I'd imitate the actions I'd see on screen.

My tongue brushed over the tip, causing him to squeak and nearly drop the fabric of his dress over my head. I smiled, amused, and took part of his length into my throat.

Kellin crossed his arms anxiously and seemed to grow softer into my mouth. How was that even possible?

"Oli, stop. Stop." He pushed me away and pulled up his underwear, letting his dress fall over it once again. I felt my heart drop, was I doing something wrong?

"Why?" I asked him. Kellin seemed to be wondering what the answer to that question was, too. He shrugged and crossed his arms. "Maybe I'm just not ready yet." He spoke faintly.

I sat criss-cross on the floor and gestured at him to sit beside me. He did, and I rested my head on his shoulder. "It's okay." I assured. For some reason, I felt my eyes start to water with tears.

"I'm so sorry, I know you seem to really want this and-"

"I promise you, I really don't mind how long it takes, love." I took his hand and intertwined our fingers. "I still love you." I said tenderly, planting a kiss on his jaw.

He was silent for a moment, looking at in front of himself at nothing in particular. His facial expression was blank and hard to read. "Love you, too." He responded, putting his head against mine that was still on his shoulder.

The sounds of muffled music could be heard in the empty bathroom. It was peaceful in here compared to the wildness of what was going on behind that door. I felt safe and at peace, just content here with my boyfriend. Nothing could ever ruin this moment.

Then, ever so quietly, the door to the bathroom opened and the sound of heavy heels clicking against the floor could be heard. There was the unzipping of a bag and the pop of a lipgloss wand being dipped in and out of product.

"Cute skirt." Another voice entered the room. It irritated me, I hoped that we'd be left alone in the bathroom together. "Looks a little like mine." The new voice added.

"Seriously? You and I both know that I bought this design _first._ "


	22. ♥22♥

**(3rd POV)**

While Kellin and Oli were being given drinks by the shady bartender, the rest of the boys got set on doing their own drinking as well. Kind of unexpectedly, though.

Vic went straight to sitting at the bar with Josh right next to him. They shared one tall glass of water as Vic wasn't in the mood to drink that night and of course Josh wasn't drinking because the rest of the group was going to need a ride home.

"I'm gonna go check on Lexy, mkay, Viccy?" Josh informed. Vic nodded, and allowed him to plant a kiss on his temple before walking off.

He sat alone, periodically taking sips of the cold water and staring off into space. "It's pretty busy in here." The voice of a stranger started to speak. Vic gave him a welcoming smile. "The boys are out tonight, huh?"

The stranger agreed. Vic hadn't seen him before, so he assumed he must've been a newcomer. Or maybe he's just been out of the loop recently, either way, he wanted to know more about him.

"Pretty sad seeing someone at the bar with only water. D'ya want a drink?" He asked. Vic thought for a second, and shook his head 'yes.'

He was going to order for himself, maybe get one of those flavorful martinis, but the man decided to do it for him and got whiskey. Vic scowled at the glass, but he didn't want to be rude by outright refusing. So, he decided to drink it anyways. He winced at the burn.

"I'll get you a refill if you want, it's all on me." The stranger winked. Vic wasn't planning on meeting anyone new in that way considering the fact that he already had three boyfriends, but he wasn't going to turn down free drinks.

"Thank you." He said to him. "Anytime. Drink up."

Vic wondered if he was going to get as blackout drunk as his other boyfriends were probably going to be.

Alex wasn't there for mingling, instead he decided that he was going to take as many shots as he could so he'll get so faded he'll forget that the world around him is even real. After about eight, he was on sitting in the corner of a rainbow sofa with his face in his hands, bawling his eyes out.

He expected that after getting satisfyingly drunk, he'd go out on the dance floor and have fun kissing both strangers and people he's known since he visited the bar for the very first time. No. Instead, he was getting emotional over basically nothing. A girl with teal cornrows sat next to him, patting his back. Josh rushed to his side once he found him after searching the past thirty minutes.

Everyone around the area stared, wondering what was wrong with the guy.

Meanwhile, Jack was nursing a cocktail that was even fruitier than him. Alissa was yelling at him, but he was just rolling his eyes at her and sipping on his drink. 'Mango, that's nice,' he thought.

"My point is, that you can't just go around starting rumors about someone having an STD. I mean, within itself, it doesn't change anything, but that's not what campus thinks. People are talking about her behind her back, for gods sake."

"Oh, honey." He began, putting a hand on the table that was right beside him. "I didn't start the rumor, I spread it. There's a difference."

Alissa groaned at him. "Doesn't make it okay. I mean, it may sound weird but herpes really isn't something to joke about-"

"I'm not sure why you care considering the fact that you had a so called 'rough' break up with her two months ago." Jack interrupted. She put down her vodka soda and sighed. "Okay, so I kind of got back together with her."

"No way." He gasped. "Ugh, yes way. I know it may be stupid as fuck, but I couldn't help but go right back to her." She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Did you forget the three time rule? You've gotten back together four times now!"

"Sorry!"

"What do you even see in her?" She pursed her lips, literally she had no idea. "Girl, leave her. That relationship isn't worth it."

"That's what the entire scene has been saying ever since you and Alex fought each other in the middle of the street, so..." Alissa scoffed, downing some of her drink because she knew that Jack was going to get mad at her.

"Ex-fucking-scuse me?" There it was. "Me and my Lexy were just in a bad mood that day, Vic was gone for days at that point, for fucks sake!" He held onto his glass so tightly, it was seconds away from cracking into pieces.

"And everyone knows it was your guys' fault."

Well, Jack couldn't argue with that. He loosened his grip on his glass and drank out of it. "It's nobody's business."

"Another thing, people think that letting Kellin and Oli move into your apartment was weird."

"We found a teenage gay couple on the streets and decided to let them live with us so they have a home, is that a crime?" He grit through his teeth. "Really? You didn't think to just bring them to the nearby shelter? You guys had 'college and shit.'"

Jack thought to himself for a second. It wouldn't really feel right to just throw those two in a shelter, would it? "I mean, they seemed pretty lonely. They needed companionship, like a new family, and stuff."

Alissa visibly cringed. "Okay, well, make sure you don't say that to anyone out loud because people some people think that you're like, into them."

"No fucking way. Who could possibly think that? They're literally our children just - ugh. Gross." Jack gasped when he came to a realization. "Maybe people think that because they think I'm some whore that screws and tries to date any guy he meets."

"Not your fault your polygamous, I guess."

"Polygamy is the word for that, like, religion thing. I prefer polyglamorous, baby." He smirked at Alissa.

Quite a bit of time had passed and Vic had probably ingested more alcohol than Alex, you could tell from the way he kept giggling over nothing every minute and slurred on his words happily.

He was walking through the crowd, one hand holding the strangers, and the other holding a watermelon cocktail. He couldn't even walk in a straight line, and everything around him was fuzzy. Nothing felt real, and everything that happened seemed distant.

"You're cute when you're clumsy." The stranger said to him. "Awww, thank you-" Someone's arm accidentally bumped into Vic's, causing him to spill a bit of him drink. "Oh, I am so sorry."

"Excuse me, you're sorry? How dare you make me drop my drink like that?" Vic said to him aggressively. The person he bumped into looked down at him, confused. "You're still holdin' it."

"Uh, nuh-uh. You s-see this?" He pointed to his glass. "It's like... spilled." Vic struggled to keep himself on his feet. He smiled at him in amusement. "You're jus' being silly. I'm not gon' fight you over sumn' like this."

"I-I'm not being silly. You wanna fight? I bet you wanna fight, where you from, fool? What makes you think you can fight me!" Vic shouted at the muscular man in a leather harness who was nearly an entire foot taller than him.

People started looking at Vic, one person even snapped a photo, but of course he didn't notice. "Someone please get this twink back home." The taller man called out, causing others to laugh. "Don't mind him, he's drunk out of his mind right now. I'm taking him back to my house." The stranger told him.

The man Vic threatened nodded his head and walked off to avoid any more conflict. "You can't make me leave." Vic told the stranger, taking a sip of his drink. "I can. See, you can't even stand up right. I've gotta take you back to my place."

"No way! I'm having way too much fun!" He called out, hopping on the top of a table and standing up. He could see the crowd of patrons in the room, and conveniently Josh could see him, too. He cringed at his antics.

"I could give you a lot more fun later tonight." He put a hand on his inner thigh. Vic groaned in annoyance. "Fuck off, only my boyfriends can talk to me like that."

The stranger was irritated and pissed of that his plan didn't go down the way he wanted it to. He stormed off, and Vic didn't even give a single damn. He stood on top of the table and danced by himself as he gulped down more of his drink.

"Vic." Ash said into a microphone. She decided that it'd be the quickest way to get his attention. "Please, get off the table. It's one of our rules to not stand on them, we don't want them breaking or anything." She ordered as respectfully as possible. Vic scanned the bar until he met her eyes from across the room. He stuck his tongue out at her.

Josh watched him as he sat next to Alissa, Jack, and Alex on the sofa. Alex was clinging onto Josh's arm like it was his lifeline as he desperately wiped his tears away. "What's he doing up there?" Alex choked out, pretending that he was totally okay. "Uh. Dancing on a table. Are any of us... going to stop him?" Jack asked the group. Alissa shrugged. "I dunno, I think he's good."

Vic was non-verbally arguing with Ash, making pissed off motions at her. Josh decided that maybe he wasn't actually good, so he shook Alex off his arm and made his way towards him. Jack scooted beside Alex so he could latch onto his arm instead. Someone kept appearing in the back of his head, and he knew that he had to confront them. Alex didn't say a name, but he didn't have to.

Must just be his boyfriend instincts.

"Vic, get off the table. Ash is literally going to kick you out." He grabbed at his wrist to pull him down, but Vic pulled away. "You can't tell me what to do."

"Neither of us want to get banned from here, love."

"Blah, blah, blah." He made a talking motion with his hand and proceeded to pour his cocktail on top of Josh's head, wetting his hair and leaving red stains on his cheetah print button up. Most the room gasped and chuckled.

Josh wondered what he expected. He sighed and picked up napkins from another table to wipe himself off as much as possible.

Jack was watching them worriedly, and actually started to wonder if Ash would actually ban them from the bar. Him and Alex have been regulars the day they were both eighteen, and everyone, or he guessed mostly everyone, adored him and loved every partner he'd introduce just the same. She would never.

"Lexy, are you still crying?" Jack questioned, cradling him in his arms. Alex shook his head 'no' as tears continued to flow out of his eyes. "Oh, baby. Baby..." He held onto him tighter. He swore that someone was going to die tonight if he found them.

Jack quickly wiped those thoughts from his head, since he felt like that'd just make Alex feel worse. What he thought everyone needed was to go home, maybe the stimulation of a club wasn't a good environment for them at the moment.

His boyfriends needed some sleep, and so did Kellin and Oli.

Kellin and Oli. Shit. They told Ash they wouldn't let them out of their sight. He started to look frantically around the room, but it would've been impossible to find them in such a large crowd. Where could they be and what were they doing?

As he continued his search, he saw a familiar floof of brown hair above the crowd. They were walking into the bathroom. Jack threw his plans of going home out the window, instead he was going to do exactly what he had wanted to do for weeks.

"Alissa, please watch Alex. I need to take care of something." Jack brushed his boyfriend off of him and stood up. "What? I can't be there for moral support, he wants you." She argued. "Technically, what I'm about to do is, in fact, moral support. Just hold him, please."

Without even turning his back, Jack quickly made his way to his destination, squeezing his way through the crowd and ignoring Josh still struggling to get Vic on the floor when he passed by.

He made it into the bathroom and was already filled with fury, but he kept his temper calm. Nico put down their lip gloss and shimmery eyeliner pencil and looked at him, alarmed. At this point, it was difficult to predict what he was going to do.

"Cute skirt." Jack commented non-threateningly, closing the door behind him. He eyed the leather skirt and the heavy platform heels that gave them a three-inch boost. They were the same height due to it.

Nico wasn't sure what to say, was Jack actually complimenting them? "Looks a little like mine." He added, a sly grin formed on his face. Their hopes went down. "Seriously? You and I both know that I bought this design _first._ "

"I know a liar when I see one." Jack snapped. "And I know a fake pair of Chanel boots when I see one." Nico clapped back.

Oh my god, how'd they know it was a fake pair?

Jack looked down at his shoes in shame, it was almost identical to the real thing and only costed about twenty. Really, he was a college student. Is he expected to drop hundreds or even thousands on a pair of shoes?

Conceited little Nico with their better painted nails and their fuller lips smiled at him. They toyed with the lighter in the pocket of their jacket, before forcing themself to rest their hands on their lap. They weren't going to set a _gay_ bar on fire. They weren't going to pretend that it felt like a second home and that Ash didn't let them sleep there for two weeks straight at one period of their life.

"Whatever, Nico. I just... wanted to know why you hurt my Lexy like that."

Nico died a little inside every time Jack would refer to him as 'his Lexy.' God, it just sounded so stupid. He's not property. "I thought I already told him that I just didn't love. Not like that."

Even Nico wasn't sure if that was true. Did they love him? Or were they just sexually attracted to him? Or did they love him such a passionately platonic way it could be mistaken for romantic love? They weren't sure, but they did know that they cared about him.

And that meant they had to force him out of their life. They'd fallen so deep, they couldn't handle keeping him in it any longer.

"So, that's it? You just fuck him for months and then decide to abandon him? He's fucking heartbroken."

Nico clenched their fist. They swore they were seconds away from grabbing that lighter and throwing it on the bathroom floor. "It wasn't just fucking, I didn't see him like a toy."

"Doubt it. You don't seem like you'd ever stick around for someone's emotions. It was definitely just sex for you." Jack scoffed. Nico smirked and put their makeup in their bag, zipping it up. Nico went to sit up on top of the sink, they crossed their recently shaved legs so elegantly Jack couldn't help but stare.

 _Prettier and more petite,_ that's what Jack thought of them as. During their freshman year of college, Alex first met them near the end of first semester at that very bar. It was their eighteenth birthday, their roommate thought they'd visit their first bar in celebration.

They hung out with each other constantly and some nights Alex would sneak out of bed to be with them. Vic and Jack weren't jealous, but they did find it concerning just how much time Alex spent with them, and why did he have to do it in secret? He never talked about them with anyone except his two boyfriends at the time.

This fiery 'relationship without labels' lasted for a year until Nico decided to fizzle it out. They purposefully started to no longer talk to Alex once they figured out that he had really wanted it to become more serious. He wanted it to be _real love._ And oh, they so badly wanted to want that. They tried, but they couldn't imagine themselves in a real romantic relationship with anyone no matter who the person was. That night when they burned down the restaurant was when they officially broke it off, and it truly did make them feel like a shitty person, but they couldn't control what they wanted.

It wasn't like they had shown their real self to him, anyways. Nico was like a second personality. Nico was the name they'd give to strangers at bars but not someone they didn't trust, and they didn't trust Alex with their real name. If he did know, they thought that he would start saying it to people and the police would come closer to figuring out their identity and their past. They couldn't let that happen.

Jack hung out with the arsonist a quite a bit during the entire fling, he figured they should probably get to know each other if his boyfriend was going to be with them every waking moment. Being polyamorous, it wasn't in his nature to be jealous, and he usually wasn't, but for some reason he couldn't push down this feeling of competition between him and Nico.

They were shorter than him, had a skinnier and less muscular build, was less hairy, had softer features and was just downright pretty. Fucking beautiful. They were the perfect fem, better than what Jack was. They were everything he wasn't, god dammit.

Jack hated them. But they were really sweet when they weren't breaking anyone's heart or burning down buildings. And they were hot as hell. Couldn't deny that.

Nico looked at Jack with friendly eyes as he fiddled with his own hands, and they had really wanted those hands to pin them down on a bed. If Nico was ever just purely sexually attracted to someone with no other attraction whatsoever, it'd be with Jack. They found him so _handsome_ and sexy as _fuck_ , but he didn't know that.

"You seem pretty mad that we had sex before, Jack." Nico chuckled to theirself. "Why would I be? That's just stupid." Jack went up closer to them. He could get a whiff of their cinnamon perfume. Cinnamon. It was a scent that fit them so well. He wasn't sure why that was a detail he noticed, but it was.

"I just assumed that you wish that you were there." They ran a hand through their hair nervously. Bold words for someone so timid. The tone of Nico's voice went warmth through Jack's body, and the image of them and Alex sleeping with each other crept into his mind. He never caught them doing so, in fact, neither of them talked about their sex life together, but Jack kind of wished that they did.

"You're funny." Jack crossed his arms. "I bet you wish you could have watched, we could've handcuffed you to a chair and you wouldn't be able to touch yourself as you look at Alex fuck me the way he does to you. He does have pretty moans, doesn't he?" Nico had become so cocky at this point, they grabbed at Jack's wrists and pulled him towards them.

They were so close. Their lips were so close to his and it'd just be so, so easy to close the gap and end that feeling that they had both been longing for, it'd be so easy to end fulfill that sexual tension that was always there but always ignored. Jack felt himself grow hard just from Nico's words, they were good and he wasn't going to deny it.

"Mhm..." Jack replied lowly. Nico wrapped their legs around Jack's waist and they moved their hands up his leather crop-top. They would buy it if they knew where to. "I've always wanted you, y'know." They whispered into his ear.

"Nico..." Jack spoke faintly. It was almost like an instinct when their lips pressed together and Nico's hands went through Jack's already messed up hair. They always thought he had pretty lips, but they didn't think they would be so, so soft. Kissing never gave them butterflies, but it always fueled heat in their body.

That moment was passionate and sex fueled, the both of them thought it was going to lead to something. Jack wouldn't have hesitated to pull their skirt up right then and there, but despite the magic of the kissing, Nico still knew that what they were doing wasn't right. They had already broken Alex's heart, they weren't going to do the same to Jack and possibly also hurt Alex again, but in a different way. What they were doing wasn't right. It was wrong and stupid.

Nico put a hand on Jack's chest, abruptly ending the kissing. "I need to go home." They blurted, quickly picking up their bag. They unwrapped their legs around Jack's full hips, he didn't even know that they had a home to go to. "Right now? You can't just leave me hanging like that."

"I can, and I will." Nico responded rather scornfully before leaving the bathroom as fast as they could. Panging guilt stung their mind.

Jack looked down at his body and was grateful that his skirt was tight enough to hide his obvious boner. After the adrenaline had died down, he noticed how fucked up that situation was. Did he really just let Nico talk to him like that and did he really kiss them? What was he thinking?

A bathroom stall behind him opened up and revealed Kellin and Oli, standing awkwardly. Jack gasped at them. "Oh my - oh my god. Did... you hear all of that?"

Oli nodded. He had his hands folded in front of him. Jack couldn't help but feel like something about the both of them were a little different. "I just want to let you know, I'm totally not into that. Or Nico, at all. I was definitely just playing along because I thought it'd get them to leave me alone."

"Jack, it's fine, I'm sure we'll just forget about it eventually." Kellin knew he probably wasn't going to forget anything that he had just heard. "Oli, let's go." He tugged on his hand and were about to exit the bathroom before Josh opened it.

"I been looking all over the place for you guys. We're leaving." He informed. The couple looked at him, confused. Both from wondering why they had to leave and wondering why his hair looked sticky. "Is it Vic?" Jack asked. "Yep, he was stubborn and Ash kicked him out. So, we're all leaving. Let's go."

The group of six met at the front of the bar, freeing themselves from the bright lights and loud music. Josh was holding Vic princess style since he could barely walk by himself. "Oh my god, Joshy-woshy, look at the stars." He giggled loudly.

"Vic... I think looking at the stars are going to give you a headache."

"And? I'm having the time of my life." He sassed. Ash walked out of the bar, the three more sober members of the group weren't looking forward to the confrontation. "I'm sorry, I know Vic was drunk out of his mind but he has been a regular for over a year now, he should know this stuff." Ash sighed.

"I don't even know how he got this wasted, he even said he wouldn't be drinking tonight yet here we are." Jack shrugged, keeping an arm around Alex. He sobered up a bit and wasn't crying anymore.

"Just make sure you guys don't drink as much next time, it's kind of worrying." She spoke in a motherly voice. Ash turned her body towards Oli and Kellin, who both desperately wanted to go to sleep. "I'm sorry these boys are just so irresponsible." She laughed.

They were both still a bit tipsy as they struggled to keep their balance although they were merely standing. It wouldn't be enough to prove that they were drunk, but Ash wasn't going to let even the smallest hints slide. She looked at the four boyfriends. "Did you let them drink?"

They all looked at each other alarmingly. "Um. Did you guys see either of them drink?" Josh asked. Alex and Jack shook their heads 'no,' as Vic was halfway to falling asleep in Josh's arms.

"Are you guys actually drunk?"

"I'm not drunk." Oli defended before Kellin could, but she could see through his lies. "You let them drink! You said you wouldn't, these two are minors!" She shouted at them. The four flinched. They had never seen Ash so angry.

"Ash, they didn't, um, let us. We wandered away and one of the bartenders gave us free drinks." Kellin slurred slightly. Ash huffed angrily and calmed herself down. "What was their name?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. They never said." He replied. Ash looked at the group. She knew that the four that she treated like her own children wouldn't go against her orders like that, so she let them off the hook. "I'll figure out who it is tonight. Go home, you guys need a break from partying." She walked off.

And they all went home, feeling not only more exhausted than ever but also a little bit different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like nico :)


	23. ♥23♥

**(Oli's POV)**

I could hear Vic puking. He's just woken up and rushed to the bathroom immediately, making his boyfriends wake up, too. It would have done the same to me if I was asleep in the first place.

I've been laying on the couch the past four hours with Kellin resting his head on my chest, he was basically piled on top of me. I didn't mind, of course. Even though I couldn't breathe, the sacrifice was worth his comfort.

It's been hours since we drank together, so the effects on me had worn off. He was probably going to have a slight hangover later in the morning, but for me, nothing was spinning anymore, and I could see clearly. Unfortunately, that also meant that I could think clearly as well.

The past events weren't difficult to remember, I could recall how I let a stranger give me and my boyfriend free drinks and the way we ended up in the bathroom.

I was still wondering why Kellin wasn't into my, um, performance. Maybe I was just doing a bad job? Or he was too drunk to feel anything? Then again, he wasn't even as intoxicated as I was.

That was the main reason why I had difficulty falling asleep. I been thinking too much, most my conclusions were negative and made me worry. He didn't freak out or try to push me off, he just looked out of the loop like he wasn't enjoying a single second of it.

Maybe he didn't love me? Or he's just not attracted to me at all?

He wasn't acting like it, but he could just be pretending. I was so confused, and so scared. I was going to have to talk about it with him eventually, if he even remembers what happened. If he even wanted to remember.

Then afterwards when we were sitting on the floor together, he was snuggling against me, but he seemed so hesitant when he told me that he loved me back.

I would've asked him about it then, but then Jack and 'Nico' entered the bathroom and...

Nope. I'm not going to let myself recall all that. I'm cringing just thinking about it. Jack couldn't trash talk whoever that person is and then make out with them, there had to be more to everything than he says. My curiosity was starting to kill me.

Maybe everything I overheard in that bathroom was also why I couldn't sleep. That was just gross.

"What time is it!" Vic groaned in the bathroom. "It's 5AM." Josh responded calmly.

"How the _fuck_ is it only 5AM? There's no way, I feel like I been asleep forever."

"You were drunk."

"There's no way I got drunk!" Vic said a little too loud and irritably. I didn't think he was going to be, either, but apparently he was and I didn't see it. I'm not sure if I wish I did. The rest of the conversation was muffled out through the walls.

I let one hand rest on my side and the other rest of Kellin's back as I forced my mind to clear up. Things are okay. Things are fine for me, and for the both of us.

💀💀💀

Josh was making pancakes when I woke up three hours later, despite the small amount of sleep I didn't feel so drowsy. Vic and Jack were about to request today off, but after skipping work multiple times Vic couldn't do it again, and Jack didn't have a reasonable excuse. However, for Alex, being hungover was a good enough for his boss. He's staying home today, and Josh wouldn't be leaving until the evening.

He accidentally burned the pancakes he was making and nearly set the kitchen on fire. We decided to just go out to eat at a cafe instead, it took halfway through our meal for me to realize that it was the same café I went to with Kellin the first day we came here. Good times. It's almost impossible to fathom the fact that our journey lead us to this apartment with these four men. That's the last thing I would've expected before we traveled here.

Vic was gone by ten. Jack left an hour later. We spent the next few hours lounging around the house and letting ourselves relax, and had relaxed so much that I ended up falling asleep on Kellin. 

I was napping on him for hours, it was surprising that Kellin never pushed me off while I was still asleep. Before I opened my eyes, I listened in on what he was saying above me.

"So, what does this mean between us? Am I not going against what love is?" Kellin questioned. I didn't know what he was talking about. "Not sure, Dollface. That's something you'll have to figure out yourself. Maybe you should ask Vic."

I slowly lifted my head up from his lap which made him gasp. "Hey, sweetie." He greeted, kissing below my ear. "D'aw, sleeping beauty is awake." Alex ruffled my hair, which I'd assume was a mess already.

My spiked choker was on the coffee table in front of me, Kellin must have taken it off when I went to sleep because I didn't remember removing it. I put it back on since it made me feel better. I tugged on that silver ring, which was starting to become a habit. "I didn't mean to nap."

"None of us mind, I wish I could do the same right now but, y'know..." Josh trailed off as threw on a leather jacket. He was wearing what he usually wore to work. My eyes darted to the window, which revealed the darkening sky. How could it already be the evening?

"Can't believe you refused to request today off." Alex murmured to himself. "I'm not allowed to make money?"

"I just wanted you to stay here so you could take care of me."

"You're silly, love." Josh kissed his cheek. "I'll take care of you tomorrow."

They're acting so cutesy it made me want to puke, but I had no room to talk. "I'll be back by twelve." He announced just before he left.

"Do you like him?" Kellin asked Alex without warning. "He left about two seconds ago and you're already asking me that?" He responded with a panic that already answered Kellin's question. "He could be right behind that door listening in on us."

I went to the window and saw Josh walking on the driveway towards his motorcycle. He looked so small from three stories up. "No, he's already about to drive away."

"So are you gonna answer my question now?" Kellin urged. Alex shrugged. "Obviously, I like him, but I'm not going to go through that love confession shit with him just yet." 

We both were ecstatic at his response, but he was making it seem like a casual thing that didn't matter. He went to sit on the couch, and I did the same. I was right between him and Kellin.

"Do you think he likes you back?" I asked. He nodded without missing a beat. "Duh, but we never got together because, I don't know, we just haven't talked to each other about it. We just don't want to."

So they just kind of let romantic tension stir in the air every time they're each other and they do nothing about it? I wouldn't be able to handle that.

"You should date him, you already have the same boyfriends so you might as well make it come full circle." Kellin instinctively put his arms around my waist from behind, we were basically in our usual position. "We'll figure it out." Alex responded. If I was him I'd jump at any opportunity to claim love.

"We were both born around the same area. In the UK." He informed. I widened my eyes, confused and curious. "Yeah, I don't have the accent and stuff since I've been here for so long. Moved here before I turned twelve, so..." He stared off into nothing and glanced at the vinyl player for a moment. He seemed to want to play something, but he decided not to.

"Did you know Josh back then?" I asked him. 

"No, I just thought it was funny." He replied. "That we could've met each other, never did, but ended up doing so in a different place after all. Anyways, um..." Alex trailed off, searching for his own words. "What about you two?"

"Why do you want to know?" Kellin chuckled nervously. "If you're gonna ask for information on my love life, I'll do the same to you."

I wasn't sure how to answer the question. The only thing that popped into my head were the events from last night, but Alex didn't need to know about all that. "Well, it's going fine. Been the same since you first seen us." Kellin shrugged it off.

Alex looked suspicious, but he accepted the answer. "That's good." He said, nodding. He stood up from the couch and started to make his way to his room. "I'm going to my room and try taking a nap, hopefully it'll get rid of my headache. Probably not, but I need the rest. I'll see you guys later, maybe?" 

I was thinking about something I had almost forgotten about. "Wait, Alex." I called out to him. He put his attention on me. "Do you remember Jo?"

"Yeah, how do you know about him?" He looked alarmed and even worried at the mention of him. "When Kellin and I were out not too long ago, we ran into him. And he wanted me to tell you something."

"What is it?" Alex sounded uninterested, but I thought I'd tell him anyway. "He said that he wished you the best and that Nico did, t-"

"Don't talk to him again." He got aggressive all the sudden. Did Jo actually do anything bad to him? "But I just saying what he wanted me to tell you."

Alex sighed. "Just stay away from him, trust me on this." And that was all he said before he went into his bedroom, leaving Kellin and I alone in the living room.

"Tough friendship, I think." Kellin joked. "Mhm." He was still holding me against himself, keeping his arms tight around me. We didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Kells..."

He put a hand over my mouth, like he didn't want me to say anything. All he wanted was intimacy, but I needed to talk to him. I was afraid to, and even wanted to avoid it as much as he did, but this wasn't something to ignore. I gently took his hand off of me. "I know what you're about to say."

"What is it then? Is it a bad thing that I think we should talk about it?" I huffed. I felt Kellin press the side of his head against my back, resting against it. "No." He murmured bluntly. I felt like if this wasn't discussed, it'd kill me forever. I had to know if he loved me or not. Or if I was doing something wrong.

"Remember when I said you're the most important thing to me?" He asked. As clear as day. It wasn't too long ago. I nodded. "So, would you understand when I say that I never saw you like _that?_ "

I have never pulled away from Kellin so fast. "What's that supposed to mean?" My words jumbled into one just from how quick I spoke. He struggled with forming a sentence and I was about to just run out of the apartment right then and there, but I knew I had to listen to what he had to say for that one bit of hope that he didn't mean what I thought he meant.

"Like, um, sexually? That's why I always put off doing that kind of stuff because I never thought of you like that." He pursed his lips and sternly put his hands on his lap. "Yeah."

I could not believe what I was hearing right now. Was he secretly straight or what? Am I just ugly? How could he have acted so in love with me yet up and say stuff like this? "So what, are you not attracted to me? Do you even love me at all, Kellin?" I refrained from calling him one of the pet-names I so endearingly used to call him. It was even painful to throw those words out.

He looked at me in disbelief, as if he was the one that was supposed to be surprised. He opened his mouth for a moment but closed it. At this point, I was slowly scooting off the couch. "Do I?" He questioned.

That did it for me. I quickly got up and went to the doorway. I couldn't stand being in that room for another second, and I certainly couldn't stand hearing him say anything else. Everything was over, all that I thought was worth it came crashing down. I grabbed my converse and went to the door without even putting them on.

"Wait, Oli-"

There was no reason for me to stay and listen to what he had to say. I was already walking out of the apartment with my shoes in hand, rushing down the steps. When I got to the bottom, I sat on the curb with my face in my hands.

He didn't love me, I was played for a fool this entire time. All those nights I imagined a future with him became unreachable fantasies.

It was pathetic how long I lingered there. I thought that maybe if I waited long enough, Kellin would end up by my side and assure me that he didn't mean anything he said. 

He never did. 

I forcefully wiped away the last of my tears before I put my shoes on and walk away from the apartment that I may never come back to.


	24. ♥trade baby blues for wide eyed browns♥

I feel so alone.

Never in my life have I ever felt so empty. Not even after my mother died, but it's possible that was only because I was too young at the time to understand the situation. My body felt like a mere shell.

The nighttime made the city shine so bright, something as ordinary as a traffic light would illuminate the darkness with its vivid red, green, and yellow lights. I wasn't looking though. I couldn't find it within myself to appreciate the small things like it.

I walked with my arms crossed, close to the buildings and glaring at the ground. Things as simple as the friendly conversation and laughter from every passerby seemed to frustrate me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to curl up into a ball and die or beat someone up.

How could I be so stupid? So... blind. I really let myself stay in a relationship with Kellin only to be thrown out like trash. There signs were there the moment we got together, but all I wanted to do was ignore it and pretend everything was okay.

It was fun when it lasted. Those nights he'd come into my house and do my makeup while we listened to our favorite bands, sneaking glances at each other in the middle of class and passing each other romantic poems, holding his hand when no one was looking...

That stormy night where I made him think I was ashamed of him, and I had to run towards him in the middle of the rain to get him back because I was convinced he was my soulmate and I didn't ever want to lose him over a silly mistake.

I was still convinced he was my soulmate. Shit, he had us travel two hours away from home so we couldn't ever be separated from each other. Look where that caused us to end up, with four people that made us feel like we belonged. Thinking about them made the choker around my neck feel heavy. All six of us managed to vibe on the same wavelength, they were our home. They made us happy and treated us like family.

It's over now. I hope Kellin will be happy with them, without me.

When I thought my tears had stopped, they suddenly started to flow again just from the thought of Kellin living his best life without me. Was all of this worth it if it ended with me lonely, walking through the city streets alongside strangers as hollowness plagued my mind?

I just wanted to die.

All I wanted was to get away from everyone, I couldn't stand seeing all these people smiling in pure joy while I felt like this. It was probably going to lead me to trouble, but I began to make my way to the abandoned buildings and graffitied mossy walls downtown. The sounds of people talking started to fade and so did the bright lights.

Things were gloomy around this area, 'grey' was the best word to describe it. The brightest colors I could see was the intricate murals created with neon spray paint on worn down brick buildings. Now that was something I thought was quite beautiful. Taking something worn down and boring into something amazing.

I began to walk into alleyways that isolated me from any people, if there even was any walking around this place. It was nowhere near them and it was even very different from them, but it reminded me of the alleyways Kellin and I would sleep in after our car got stolen. I giggled to myself when I thought about him having to shower with a hose, which just so happened to be when we met Jack and Alex.

If Kellin never did love me, then why did he stick with me through those few days? Never did he ever suggest ever coming back to our parents, he's even told me that he'd choose me over the world. That's not the words of someone who doesn't give a shit about you.

Ugh, I couldn't understand how things could end up like this! What even is love if what we shared wasn't it?

I started to continue on, walking through the dark alley. Even if it was dangerous for me to be here, I'd rather feel someone beat me to pulp than nothing at all. Who cares? Nobody was here. I'm going to be sleeping on the cold ground tonight.

I turned around the corner and saw something I didn't expect. It was bright and illuminated the walls, you could hear faint crackling.

Fire.

It felt warm against my skin, even if I wasn't close to it. It wasn't a wild fire, instead it was inside a metal drum, the flames flew out of it like fireworks. I started to move my way closer to and saw someone sitting in front of it.

They had on a red skirt that went just below the knee, leather gloves, a leather jacket, and a mask that made it impossible to identify who it could be. Their back was turned from me, the front of their body facing the fire.

"I know you're there." They started to speak. I knew that voice, at this point I could recognize it anywhere. The voice that always managed to sound timid. "Just arrest me already. I don't care. I don't fucking care about anything."

They sounded so pathetic and so defeated, it made me when to rush up and hug them.

So that was them. The arsonist I kept on hearing about, the person that people I was close to knew better than those who stood behind television cameras spouting whatever they wish were true. They were sitting there, right in front of me, vulnerable and open.

"Nico?"

They perked their head up, alarmed. I assumed that they must not share the name with strangers, so they already knew that I was going to be someone they were familiar with. They turned around and looked at me. You couldn't see their eyes, but a hole was cut at the mouth. They smiled. "Oliver."

Now I was the one alarmed. They had said my name so nonchalantly, like they were expecting me. Sitting there and just waiting for me to find them. "Come over here."

Should I trust them?

I should trust them.

I had no one else to trust, anyways. Without skipping a beat, I walked up to them, closer to the burning fire. I sat next to the familiar stranger. They were so close to me, it was a unique feeling to meet someone you only heard about on TV or from other people.

They were real. I sure felt shocked and out of place during such a normal moment where I was merely just meeting someone for the first time.

My eyes found their way towards their face. The cut-out part of the black mask revealed rose colored lips. Their skin was a darker shade of peach than mine, like a tan.

"This is exciting." They smiled to theirself. "Um..." I trailed off, confused. "What's exciting?"

I didn't want to sound lame or overtly shy around them, which made me wonder why I felt the need to seem cool around the arsonist. "I've seen you around for a while now."

They've been watching me? And for a while? 

"I know you look scared, but it wasn't stalking or anything. I just have eyes and ears everywhere, y'know?" They informed smugly. "First saw you when you drove into the abandoned parking lot, which was my favorite spot until you and your perfect boyfriend invaded it."

Kellin was perfect, but he wasn't my boyfriend. Not anymore. I was silent, looking at the fire in front of me. Occasionally, a spark would fly towards my body, but it'd never actually touch me.

"I wasn't there when your guys' car got stolen, but I knew that it did. I was considering stealing it back for you." They chuckled. I gave them a soft smile. "It wouldn't be worth the effort, would it? You didn't know us."

"Doesn't mean I can't do something nice for you two in secret." Nico responded. "I never did, though. Since Jack and Alex already moved you two into their apartment. I didn't see that coming." They scowled. Despite that moment in the bathroom, it still seemed like their names were venom on their tongue.

"About Alex..."

"Yeah, I know. I don't want to get into it, but I really didn't mean to hurt him. He just wanted what I couldn't give him." Their words sounded scripted, maybe they had them planned out in their head for a while. "Are you sure you weren't even a little in love with him?"

"Maybe I was, but in the end I never wanted to be his partner the same way he is with Jack or Vic. Or the new guy he's with, who literally appeared out of nowhere." I laughed at their tone. 

"What do you want, then?" Even if they didn't want to be with him, the opportunity for love was still there. Maybe they just didn't jump at the first chance at it like I did. 

"I want something like a soulmate who is your best friend. Could you get platonically married to someone? Cause if you can, that's what I want."

"How could you not want a lover?"

"I can't imagine a future in a romantic relationship, and I have never fallen in love like that. In different ways, yes, but never in that kind of way. It may sound weird to you, but I just lack that kind of attraction." They explained. What they were saying sounded familiar.

"I have a roommate." Jo. "He was like my best friend soulmate, but he got a boyfriend, started hanging out with him a lot, it broke my heart. We got into a lot of fights about it and all he had to say was that I needed to find someone new to latch onto. Like a new boyfriend is more valuable than your best friend that you tell everything to. That was a long time ago and I've forgiven him now since he understands what he did wrong, but it still pisses me off." They rolled their eyes.

"Maybe that's why I became so attached to Alex. After I was no longer Jo's number one, he just kind of popped up and treated me so well I basically became codependent on him." Nico gulped down on nothing. "And it stressed me out when I found out he had two boyfriends, I was like 'shit that's a lot of competition,' but he never chose either of them over me. Even when he spent a couple days to focus on his relationship with them, he'd come back to me eventually. That surprised me."

I felt bad for Nico, about how their best friend chose a new boyfriend over them. I wouldn't choose anyone over Kellin.

Kellin...

"Wanna hear something funny?" They asked. I nodded my head, unsure of what could be funny at a time like this. "Jack and Jo were born on the same day. Same year on June eighteenth. That's not too far away."

"Maybe they should share birthday parties." I suggested. I started to take a liking to Nico just from how soft-spoken and honest they were. Even if I might never see my four 'parents' again, I think they should make up with them and Jo.

"That'd be interesting." They responded, twiddling their thumbs. "But I doubt they're willing."

"I met Jo before, told Alex about it and he got a lil' pissed off." I informed. They shook their head in disappointment. "Classic Alex. He doesn't like him, I could give him a million reasons not to and he'd still hate his guts. He's stubborn. Oh well."

They put one hand on the ground, coincidentally their thumb overlapped with mine. Nico put their hand on their knee instead, if they asked me to, I would have held it. "You don't seem as bad as I thought you'd be." I said, stating the obvious. Of course they'd think I'd believe they were a horrible person before.

Nico grinned happily, seemingly gleaming. "Aw!" They wrapped their arms around me in excitement. I wanted them to linger a little longer, but they pulled away fast. "Thank you, but really, I'm not the greatest person. I mean, I'm wanted by the police for a reason."

We laughed together, a bit louder than we should have. "I know, I know. But, I mean, personality wise, you aren't so bad." I said, knowing I probably shouldn't ignore the fact that they killed a couple people.

Oh my god. They could literally kill me right now. But I'm being nice to them, they wouldn't do that, would they?

They bit on the sleeve of their leather jacket nervously. They're so timid, always so afraid. It was cute and concerning at the same time. "I always get so worried that people won't like me, so I'm a little relieved right now. All these newspapers and reporters call me a heartless monster, but I just want them to stay out of my fucking business."

They gone hysterical as they spoke. Their fist collided with the concrete ground, thankfully it was protected by the leather glove.

"The news doesn't know you." I assured. They looked at me and nodded slowly. The light hit the mesh fabric on their mask at the perfect angle, and I could see through it just a little. Their eyes were a dark color. I didn't say anything about it.

"They don't." Nico huffed out. Their hand reached the hem of their skirt, which they tugged on. Maybe that was a habit.

"The investigators said you were a girl." I told them, from the way they groaned, I assumed that must not be true. I mean, everything down to their voice and the way they dressed confused me. Everything seemed to contradict each other, so I've always managed not to even try to put a gender on them and refer to Nico as 'they' like everyone else just to be safe. I'd like to hear a definite answer, but maybe there was none.

"You know why they want to put a label on me so badly, hon?" The excitedness of their voice went away. I shrugged. "They want the public to think that they're any closer to figuring out who I am." They hissed and stood up, their leather jacket slipped off of their arms easily.

Nico took a few steps ahead with their back turned towards me. Their skirt blew in the direction of the wind and the orange glow of the fire blended in with their skin. That same glow just looked unnatural on mine.

"They want-" They pulled off a wooden board from a rotting building effortlessly and threw it into the metal drum. Sparks flew at me, but thankfully I backed away before I could get hurt. "The public to think that they're closer to taking down the oh-so dangerous arsonist. Fuck!"

I began to really hope the Nico wasn't going to hurt me, or even themselves. "But they're nowhere to figuring out my identity, and each one of their analyzations prove it. Their only sources are a few blurry photos." They looked at the fire intently. Please don't jump in, just stay where you are.

"I guess it's a little better than them thinking I'm a guy, honestly." Nico put their hands on their hip. I could see that their arms were tatted, I think the symbols on them were something important. I couldn't stop looking at them.

"Do you usually stare at people for this long, or am I just lucky?" They teased. I didn't even noticed how long I had been gazing at them. Nico started to walk towards me and hugged me, I hugged back, their skin felt hotter from its exposure to the fire.

They pulled away from me and cupped my jaw. "Sorry, my emotions got the best of me. Did I scare you?" They asked. "You really freaked me out, Nico." I replied, not feeling the need to lie. They pouted.

Their hands took ahold of my wrists, allowing them to pull me up to my feet. "We should dance together, take that as an apology."

Nico wanted to dance with me the same way I did with Kellin that night. Just the way they asked me made the memories flush back, and while I wanted to, it would hurt to say yes.

"I don't think you want to dance with me, I mean, I'm not good."

"I know that, I've seen you do it before. But, you don't have to be good." They put one hand on my back and wait for me to do the same with them. I did. "Just lean with me." They said, holding my other hand. "Rock with me."

We swayed from side to side for a moment, until Nico pulled away. "Oli..." Their voice trailed off. I was confused as to why they had stopped the dance so suddenly.

They tugged at the hem of their mask and pulled it off, finally throwing it on the floor. They had a bit of a baby face, and their was nose perfectly sloped. Their eyebrows were asymmetrical, but that just seemed to make their face more unique. They had chestnut brown hair, the same natural color as mine. It was cut into a fauxhawk. That wasn't the hairstyle I thought they'd sport.

Their lashes were naturally long and brought attention to their pretty brown eyes that captured the image of the nearby fire. They looked at me with a glimmer in them. Like I was a jewel, and I needed to be taken before anyone else could claim me.

It didn't even take a second for me to understand why Alex fell so hard for this arsonist, no matter how imperfect they are.

I forgot how to speak for a second.

"Let's resume, shall we?" We went back to our previous position. I would call them beautiful, or something, but I was just lost for words. After a moment, they spun me around, it made me realize I had already once danced with them. At the club the day before, their eyes were lined with a shimmery red. It seemed like their favorite color.

"I used to do this all the time. With Alex. It's been a while." They told me. I'm sure he was a better dance partner than me.

"It's so quiet." I commented. The silence made the dance more awkward than it could be. "Should I sing something?"

"You could try."

"I'll sing a song I've written, then." They said. Nico started to sing gracefully, the words flowed out of them like a gentle stream. I should've known that their singing voice was going to be as beautiful as their regular one.

A couple lines in, I couldn't help but notice that their singing sounded familiar, not only that but the words, too. I couldn't quite put my finger on as to why, though.

Our movements started to slow down, and we were just rocking with each other rather than dancing. Our eyes were permanently glued onto each other and neither of us had any desire to break the contact.

"You're so pretty, Oliver. It's... it's not fair." They said gently. Their facial expression softened immensely; it was like they were in a trance. "Oh... I don't know about that."

"You have these big hazel puppy dog eyes." They pointed out. "And a unique nose that balances out your jawline..." Nico put their hand on my chin. We were no longer swaying, instead we just stood there. Looking at each other the same way we have been.

"The softest hair and pretty lips." They placed their thumb on my bottom lip. Their eyes started to water. They were really getting emotional just by looking at me.

Silence was filled with the crackle of fire and crickets.

"Nico."

They removed their thumb and pressed their lips against mine, starting a kiss that I had practically melted into immediately. They were rough with their movements, and managed to back me into a cold, graffitied wall. Their kisses were forceful, like they avoided being gentle with such actions.

They started to hold onto my wrists, which they had pinned against the building behind us. Their grip was tight enough to leave bruises. I didn't know what I was feeling, I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. But all I knew was that this was pure passion. My body was warm and my heart beat faster.

Suddenly, Nico disconnected our lips. They looked like they were ashamed of themselves, and not only that, but they looked worried. I wasn't sure if they were worried about themself or me.

"Why are you here, Oliver? You're in the part of the city no one goes to." They got their hands off me and instead put them to their side. "So, I have no idea how you ended up here."

I crossed my arms, allowing my eyes to water. "I had nowhere else to go." I confessed. Nico's lower lip trembled. "Did something happen between you and Kellin?" They asked. Wasn't it obvious?

I started to silently cry. The tears fell out, but I didn't let a single sob escape my lips. I already done enough of that. "Oh, baby, no..." Nico approached me and held my hands. "Was it just an argument, or did you break up?"

"He didn't say anything official, but he basicall-" My voice cracked, and I suddenly couldn't keep it together. They wrapped their arms around me and allowed me to cry into their shoulder. No matter what Nico did, they were never going to fill the hole in my heart. Kellin was the love of my life, but he didn't see me as the same.

"Just let it all out, Oliver. It's okay. You're going to be okay." Nico rested their head on mine as I continued to sob. They were only wearing a tank top, so I could feel their inked skin against my face.

I was so sick of crying, so sick of feeling things. I hated how much love could control me.

Desperate to situate myself, I pulled away from Nico, settling my breathing the best I could. I looked off into the distance, knowing that looking directly at them could lead to me becoming more emotional.

"Are you going to go home?" They asked. Another tear flowed out of my eye when I thought about how I was never going to come home again.

"It's not my home anymore." I told them. Nico put a hand over their mouth. "I'll take you back to my apartment. The one I share with Jo. I am not going to leave you out by yourself."

"Nico, you really don't have to. I might come back to my dad." I assured. If I wasn't going to be in this city with Kellin, then I guess there was no point in being here at all.

"Do you want to, though?" They asked. I shook my head side to side. "I don't want to burden you and Jo, though."

Nico flicked their wrist. "Burden? There is no possible way you would burden us. My car is nearby, I'll take you home with me." They went over to their jacket that was laying on the ground and put it on, then did the same with their mask. The satisfaction of knowing what was under it washed over me.

They were doing something nice for me, and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but with someone I felt safe with, and Nico made me feel safe. At least, right now they did. They took my hand.

"Isn't it beautiful? I hope it's still burning tomorrow." They said, gesturing towards the fire. It was. I appreciated fire more than I did yesterday.

We both started to walk through the alleyways like they were a maze until we ended up at their car. It was slightly beaten up, but I didn't expect a recent model in mint condition. Besides, Nico probably wasn't the type of person who cared about cars.

The both of us got inside, and the moment we closed the door, Nico removed their mask. "It'd be unsafe if I kept it on while driving." They smiled.

They started the car and looked at me. Impulsively, their hand fiddled with the silver ring the hung on my choker. "I always wanted one of these."

"Yeah? Maybe I'll let you borrow it." Truthfully, I didn't want to have it anymore. It was Josh's, and if he wasn't going to be in my life anymore along with everyone else, maybe it wouldn't be appropriate for me to keep wearing it.

"It looks better on you. I could just beg Jo to buy me one." They assured, tugging on the wallet chain on my pants. I looked at them in confusion. "Can I take this off?"

"Sure?" I said hesitantly. They giggled to themself before removing and attaching it to the ring. It hung off the choker, Nico held onto the other end of the chain.

Like it was a leash.

They pulled on it, bring me closer to their face. We shared a kiss that lasted mere seconds. "That wasn't a romantic kiss." They said.

"I know." I responded. Maybe I should see kisses in a different light.

They let go of the chain, allowing me to be free. Nico began the car and started to drive off, I was ready to join a new home. I guess I never did belong in my old one.

But Kellin did. And he was better off without me. 


	25. ♥25♥

**(3rd POV)**

Kellin was not better off without him.

The moment he walked out that door, he immediately began sobbing and screaming into a pillow, which alerted the attention of Alex, who could hear him through the walls.

When he told him about the blowjob thing he didn't think it'd be a big deal, but apparently, it was for them, and now Oli was gone and nowhere to be seen. Jack came home at ten and promptly left again to go to the store, buying him a jar of ice cream and tissues, then an hour and a half later, Vic and Josh came home and sat next to Kellin.

Josh smelled like beer and Vic smelled like motor oil, which was not a good combination whatsoever, but it didn't smell like Oli, and god, the shirt that Kellin was wearing smelled like nothing but him. It was his shirt. The white and pink striped long sleeve. He wanted to rip it off, but that'd probably be inappropriate to do in front of Josh, Jack, Alex, and Vic. Plus, it didn't matter anyways because it was slowly starting to only smell like tears.

So was Vic's shirt.

"He hasn't told me exactly what happened, but I'm guessing they talked about the _thing._ " Alex whispered over to Josh. "What 'thing?'" Vic asked in concern.

They exchanged whispers with each other as Kellin was trying his best to block everything out. After a moment, Vic was slowly pushing him off of him and getting up from the couch. "Group meeting in the other room, now." He announced. 

He put a hand on Kellin's shoulder and rubbed it. "Just calm down. It's going to be okay." He whispered in a naturally calming voice. That was something Vic always knew came in handy. Kellin was already steadying his breathing as Vic walked into his bedroom with Josh, Alex, and Jack.

Kellin wanted to go back into the fridge and take out the tub of ice cream. He ate half of it in one sitting an hour prior and thought he'd save it for another time later, and it was currently a good time.

He decided not to bother. Besides, it'd probably just make him more ashamed of himself. Instead, he just laid down on the couch and squeezed a pillow, he wouldn't admit that he imagined it as Oli. The pillow wasn't long enough, anyways.

 _They're probably talking about how I'm a freak._ Kellin thought to himself. _That there's something wrong with me for not wanting to do that kind of stuff._ He laid his head back. 

Maybe he regret just a little bit confiding in Josh and Alex earlier that day, they knew too much now. And even more he regret letting that conversation with Oli go through, he thought he should've just made up an excuse. That he just felt awkward and didn't want to do anything that moment, but then again, he never wanted to do anything like that.

He wasn't sure if it really did mean that he didn't love him at all, but considering Oli's reaction and what he was taught, it must have.

"What? You'd be explaining it to him than I would be, go out there."

"Well Jack, you're better at talking about relationship stuff."

"Am not." Jack retorted. The rest of the conversation was muffled out before Vic walked out of the room by himself. Kellin quickly tucked the pillow behind his head and acted cool. "Hey, kiddo." He greeted, like an awkward dad.

Kellin murmured a 'hello' back before Vic plopped himself on the opposite side of the couch from his head. "You said that you were going against what love is." He commented, trying to start the conversation. Kellin didn't want to get into it like he had hoped he would, and instead just confirmed that he did. Vic sighed.

"But love doesn't equal sex and vice versa." Vic added. "Don't you still love Oli despite the fact that you lack that kind of attraction?"

That seemed to make him catch Kellin's attention. He sat back on the couch rather than lay down in his own pity. "Yeah, but... isn't it supposed to come with love, though?" He asked. Vic shook his head. "Usually, but it doesn't have to. And the fact that it doesn't for you, it does not mean you love him any less. You're just asexual."

"That's the word?" He's been wondering if there even was one. "It is, and it's totally cool if you have never heard of it before. Not a lot of people talk about it, it isn't widely known."

"So I guess I'm weird." He shrugged. "Psh. No, you're not weird - I mean it's not even a bad thing to be weird in the first place, but being asexual alone doesn't mean you are." Vic laughed lightly, Kellin attempted to do the same, but his bottom lip trembled and his breathing hitched.

"Are you oka-" And suddenly, Kellin burst into tears. Vic urged his head towards his lap and let him sob into his thigh upon instinct. He's let people do it a million times before, and that that point it didn't faze him. Crying didn't faze him, and not even he did it anymore.

But Kellin was an emotional person and younger than Vic, and dealing with younger and emotional people was kind of his forte. He didn't say anything as he comforted Kellin, running his hand through his dark hair, the neon green was still rather bright.

Vic knew that sometimes people just needed silence.

Kellin continued to softly sob into his jeans, and he wondered how he even managed to have so much tears still in him. He gulped down and lifted his head up. "All this time I thought I didn't love him. And now he's gone because I made him think the same thing." He buried his face into his hands. "Kellin, it's going to be okay. Just come out to him and he'll take you back with open arms."

"And if he doesn't? He's gonna still think I don't love him and I'm not gonna be able to fufill him!"

"Kellin..."

"Why did I have to be like this, Vic? Why can't I just be _normal?_ " Kellin breathed out. Vic looked at him, and his eyes lingered for a moment. What he saw before him wasn't really a definition of normal, was it? But it didn't matter. Vic wasn't normal. Nobody in that house was normal, and to society they were all freaks equally. He understood that and he's gone past the point of caring. It pained him that Kellin didn't feel the same.

"This is a part of you and you can't change it." He stated bluntly. "Oli loves you, you know that. There's no possible way that he wouldn't, and if he rejects you after you come out then he never really did. Okay?"

Kellin soaked in every word that Vic told him. Maybe Oli _would_ love him no matter what. How could he not? They've been though so much - too much together for everything to come crashing down now. And over something so minuscule.

He sighed. "Nothing has been going my way recently." Kellin crossed his arms. "It's not supposed to. That's how life works." Vic responded.

"It used to."

"I'd think you should've expected that after you ran away from home." He shrugged.

"We had this whole plan, though. And everything is different from it." He wiped his eyes from dried out tears. Vic nudged Kellin off him and stood up from the couch. Kellin looked up at him, why was he leaving so soon? "At least you got us to let you move in. That was something I would've only dreamed off when I didn't have a home."

Kellin suddenly felt guilty for complaining in the first place. 

Vic lowered himself to give Kellin one last hug, both his arms wrapped around him tendering and pulling him close. He buried his face into the crook of his neck, he still smelled like motor oil. They pulled away from each other. "He left his phone here." Kellin informed. "We won't be able to find him." His voice cracked as he avoided breaking down. 

"We'll find him. And if we don't, I'm sure he'll come back himself. For you." Vic responded hopefully. Kellin gave him a soft smile. As Vic was just about to turn his back from him, he decided he shouldn't just leave him alone. "You should sleep in our bed tonight. They said you done it before."

Kellin went soft just thinking about that night. It was the warmest he had ever been, but he thought he shouldn't depend on the four for warmth during what he was going through. He could handle this himself.

"I'll be fine here, Vic." He responded softly. Vic was suspicious, but he nodded. "I'll get you a blanket."

He went into the bedroom and conversated with his boyfriends, assuring them that Kellin was fine and that he understood his identity. He could heard soft applause from the bedroom.

Vic went back into the living room with a big, soft mint green blanket and threw it on Kellin. He gratefully draped it over himself. "Thank you. For everything you've done tonight."

Vic didn't respond, knowing that he didn't need to. Everything he did was out of pure selflessness. 

"Goodnight, Kellin." He told him. He had considered kissing his forehead before he left, but he decided to establish boundaries. He saw him as a child, and he wasn't going to give Kellin any room to develop feelings especially when he was so vulnerable.

He turned the lights off and went back into his bedroom, giving him one last look before closing the door. Kellin snuggled under the blanket, it was so soft. So warm, but not weighted enough. It wasn't _physical_ enough. 

It was so dark in that room. The lack of sight stimulation made it so easy for him to think about the way Oli ran through that door. How easy it would be to stop him, but he didn't. He should have spoke to Vic about all of this before it was too late. He might never come back. He might never love him again.

Kellin decided he wouldn't be able to handle his emotions on his own and made his way into the bedroom. The four were whispering conversation with one another when he walked in. "Told you he wasn't gonna last long." Alex giggled. Kellin blushed in embarrassment. "Am I bothering you guys?"

"No, c'mere." Jack was laying on the left side of the bed, closest to where Kellin was standing. He lifted up the blanket to let him snuggle in, and Kellin gladly took the opportunity. "You're so small." He commented. He's heard that before.

"Sleep here as much as you need. You don't need to be shy, really." Josh assured.

The initial nervousness that he had around the four had died, and he was ready to let his guard down. That night, all he felt was close to them.

And Oli was just so, so far away. At least for now.


	26. ♥26♥

**(Oli's POV)**

Nico held onto the leash as they walked me to their apartment. I asked them if it was appropriate to do that in public, and they said, 'bro, it's just a joke.' So, I just decided to take the whole situation as a joke.

I still couldn't get over how they showed their face to me without worry, and I was astonished at how innocent and pretty they were. Why did I expect some supervillain?

All the lights were turned off in their home, it was seemingly vacant. "He must be asleep. I don't understand him, how do you go to bed at a reasonable hour?" Nico whispered. "Maybe he has something to do in the morning."

"I cannot relate." They responded. "You should sleep in my bed."

The suggestion caught me off guard for a moment, but I remembered that sleeping in someone's bed doesn't necessarily mean anything. I mean, I slept in the same bed as my 'parents,' which, I guess, aren't really my parents anymore.

The thought still hurt my heart. I wonder if they miss me.

"Sure." I told them. I couldn't see their face well in the lighting, but I could tell that they were smiling widely. They lead me to their room, which I thought smelled like lavender essential oils. There was a window that had curtains mostly drawn over it. You could see light from the city and moon pour in, it made me think of the living room back home.

I need to stop thinking about that apartment, I need to stop thinking of it as home.

Nico let go of the chain to turn on their bedroom lights. It was a simple room with furniture that didn't exactly match, but it fit their personality. The beddings were dark red, and there was a desk under the window that had papers scattered on it and had three spray paint cans sitting over the pages.

There were some items of clothing sitting on the floor, which Nico picked up and threw over a chair. "Sorry, I'm not a very organized person." They apologized. "Doesn't really bother me." I told them. I walked over to the desk and looked at the papers on their desk.

They looked like worn out newspapers, one was headlined _Trailer park burned down, eight found dead._ Below it was smaller text that read, _Witnesses state that two preteen boys were seen fleeing from the scene, but unfortunately there were no further details on their identities._

It was covered in highlights and annotations, clearly all done by Nico themself. They walked up to me and pat my shoulder. "Pretty cool, right?" They commented. "This happened in ten years ago in Essex. You're British, Oliver. Did you live there?"

"No, I think I remember hearing about this, though." I responded. I wasn't quite sure if I did. I'd probably remember more clearly if a historical building or something was burned down instead, since people would've talked about it more.

"Criminals who get away with something as inane as this make me wonder how their doing now. What do you think these two boys are doing nowadays, Oliver?"

"Not good. Maybe addicted to drugs or somethin.'" I half-joked. Nico gave me a lip-smile. "Maybe." They responded, walking away and removing their jacket. "I have some oversized shirts and pajama pants in my drawers if you aren't comfortable just sleeping in your underwear. I am."

I nodded and went to the drawer, digging through it. It was a mix of pieces that included cute blouses, lingerie, crop tops, regular t-shirts, and I think I accidentally pulled out a corset, too.

Finally, I settled on a Keith Haring shirt that I thought would actually have a loose fit on me. I put it to my nose and it smelled like... cologne and weed?

Nico snatched it from my hands, and apparently as I was looking through their wardrobe they had stripped down to their underwear, it looked like women's underwear in boy-shorts style. Maybe they weren't comfortable wearing anything more risqué.

They chuckled nervously. "Yeah, um. This was Alex's. Maybe you should wear something else – here." They took out a white shirt with an alien graphic on it. "It's a muscle-tee, but at least you won't be basically naked."

I took it from their hands and eyed the t-shirt. "Why'd you keep that? I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with him?" I asked. Nico fiddled with the collar of the shirt nervously. "I never said that, but I just kind of forgot to get rid of this." They put it on top of the dresser and walked over to their bed.

This person concerns me a little, but I won't question it. "See, after I first cut him off I wore that shirt to sleep almost every night for weeks straight. It still smells like him."

"I guess cologne isn't a very subtle scent." I started to wish I stole one of Kellin's shirts so I could sleep in it, but it would be too tight on me anyways. Either that or I'll show off my midriff.

I tugged on the hem of my shirt and made eye contact with Nico. "Oh, sorry! I'll look away. And stuff." They said, turning around to face away from me. I didn't feel the need to wear pants as well if they were fine with being as exposed as they were with me.

After I stripped down to my boxers and threw on the tee, I turned off the lights and went into the bed, right next to Nico. They had turned around and faced me. "That's my roommate's shirt, I steal his clothes sometimes. He gets mad at me about it, but I just think it's really comforting." They said.

"I'm not surprised you're that kind of roommate." I responded, keeping on a light tone so they don't think I'm trying to judge them. "I am! His full name is Joshua, but everyone calls him Jo. I still like to call him Joshua though, 'cause I think it's a cute name and it makes him mad."

Nico giggled like a child as they went under the covers of the bed. I did the same, we turned to our sides so we were facing each other. Kellin and I had slept on the couch together so often that I forgot how nice it was to be in a bed, with more space this time.

"This is nice." They commented. "Mhm." I mumbled. I didn't exactly agree, since I couldn't see their face, but I could smell hints of cinnamon and feel their knee pressing against my thigh.

Heavy tension was built between us, and my lower lip trembled. I wanted to kiss them or at least pull them close to me. I decided to ignore my urges and rolled over to my other side, but before I could, they grabbed my arm.

"Oliver, do you want to have sex?" They asked suddenly. Nico put a hand over their mouth. "That sounded a lot less casual than I meant, damn."

I stuttered on my words. The thought crossed my mind more than I'd like to admit, but I didn't know what I was supposed to do when the opportunity did come. I crossed my legs. "Are you going to answer? I know I probably should have bought you dinner first, but every restaurant is closed right now." They joked.

There wasn't any way I was going to say no to this, for one, because it was with Nico, and second, because this would cross one thing off my bucket list. I might as well get it over with and hopefully enjoy it in the process, yeah?

I slowly moved my face closer to Nico's, but they weren't having it. They roughly grabbed my chin and crashed my lips against theirs in pure desperation and lust, my body was positioned on top of theirs, allowing them to grind against my crotch. I moaned softly into their mouth.

"S' cute. Why'd it take me so long to bring you home?" They admired me between our kisses. I thought the answer to that question was that they were a little busy focusing on other people.

"Did you just now decide you wanted this?" I asked as I kissed their neck. "Mm, I thought you were too innocent at first, but virgins are cute, so maybe that's a good thing."

I blushed in embarrassment at the information that apparently was so clearly obvious. "Is that an, um, issue?"

"No, I usually take control anyway. Lay down." They demanded. "What-"

"Yeah, you heard me. On your back." They pulled away from me and waited for me to do as they say. I was confused, but I moved off them so I could lay on the mattress. I could have sworn that they just called me a 'good boy,' but it was too faint to tell.

Nico climb on top of me and gave me a quick peck. "Just to assure you, I'm not topping. I doubt you even, like, cleaned yourself inside of there considering that this is your first time."

It took me a moment to realize what they meant. "I had no idea you were supposed to."

"Yeah, now I'm definitely not topping. See, some people are totally fine with things getting messy, but I'm really not, y'know?" They moved a hand down to my groin and gave me a squeeze through my boxers, which caused me to gasp louder than I meant to. "Sh, quiet. Joshua gets mad at me for being too noisy."

They pulled the sheets off of me and positioned themself between my legs, hands gripping at my hips. They moved their tongue from below my belly button to the waistband of my underwear, then mouthed at the tip of my dick through the fabric. They barely had done anything, and I already felt heat pooling at my abdomen.

They looked at me smugly before putting a hand into my boxers, starting off a blissful night.

💀💀💀

Maybe it wasn't as blissful as I hoped it'd be. Everything was just awkward, 'cause Nico kept asking me I could put my collar on and I thought that'd be too much for me considering it was only my first time. Then I came too early, and they got frustrated and decided not to bother anymore.

Despite my awful performance, they still cuddled beside me and called me cute, still seemingly happy that they at least did something with me. I was grateful, but goodness, I felt bad. Nico probably just experienced the worst sex of their life.

To make things worse I cried a little afterwards. It was when they had already fallen asleep, so they didn't know. I couldn't help but feel guilty, we weren't even together but it was almost like I cheated on Kellin. Why should I care, anyways? He doesn't love me, and I needed to forget about him.

Forgetting about your first true love is impossible, though.

I was so confused when I woke up in a different bed, let alone an entirely different scenery. It didn't take long for every event from yesterday to sink in, and I went through a whole new episode of pain. Everything that Kellin had said to me, I had to sit through and listen to all of it. I was only experiencing the event, it was a different thing to truly take it all in and accept it.

Accepting that he was no longer mine. Not to mention the fact that I'm cradled against someone different. I thought hooking up with someone else after a breakup was supposed to make you feel better?

I slowly got out of the bed, careful to make sure I didn't wake Nico up. Through the wall I could hear the sound of sizzling, which meant that Jo must have been making breakfast. Would he mind making me something? Well, I guess I'll settle for cereal if he did.

When I got out of the room, Jo, or I suppose as Nico mentioned earlier was actually named Joshua, came into my line of view. His messy black curls made it obvious that he had just gotten out of bed. "Hey, do you-"

He stopped in his tracks when he looked at me, and we stood there for a moment looking at each other. Jo's mouth was agape, unsure of what to say. "How the fuck..."

He trailed off, and later decided to finish his sentence. "How the fuck did you get in here?"

"...Nico." I responded. Jo smirked. "I shouldn't be surprised. C'mere, sit down." He put his hand on a tall chair that faced towards a counter on the edge of the kitchen.

I smiled at his respectful attitude and sat down. "I'm making cinnamon french toast, you want some?"

I nodded my head, hoping that maybe this Josh doesn't burn what he cooks. He went and continued preparing the meals, now acknowledging that he needed to make a third batch.

"See, I told you we were going to end up meeting again." He recalled. That night with Kellin was so tender – no, I won't think about that. "I thought you were just trying to make sure we never crossed paths again." I admitted. Jo gave me a light chuckle.

"No, but I understand why you thought I was. I just had this gut feeling, though. Sometimes people are just supposed to meet each other again later in life, and at a better time. If we just forced closeness, then that better time will never come and things wouldn't end up the way they should."

He's rambling. "'You into that spiritual stuff, Jo?" I asked, poking some light-hearted fun at him. He wasn't fazed, though. "A little bit. But, hey, this time I turned out right. Here you are, and I'm guessing for a reason that you don't know yet."

Jo coated two pieces of bread with whatever was in his mixing bowl. I wanted to argue against him, but there were no points to be opposed to. I did end up here just purely out of chance. And considering everything that has happened, maybe I was here for a reason. Maybe I'm supposed to experience some awakening...

No. No, that's just stupid. All that happened to me is that I found a new house to settle myself in, that's it. I don't know what Jo is going on about.

"So, Kellin's not here." He pointed out. I knew he was going to bring it up eventually. I sighed, did I really want to get into it? He put the toast that was already in the pan on a plate and replaced it with two, uncooked pieces. Jo set his spatula down and walked up to me. "I'm really sorry." He said. He didn't even need me to say anything to figure out what happened.

"... I didn't even do anything." I told him under my breath. "Even if that's the case, things will be better for him. And you'll later figure out things will be better for you, too." He said. His eyes scanned lower at me. "Is that my shirt?"

I forgot that it was even his. "Um. Yeah?" I confessed. "Looks better on me." He went back to the stove and tended to his toast. "Wait, why?"

"You have no muscles or tats to show off." He responded. That offended me for a moment. Not my fault I can't lift weights. "No judgement. Just facts." He added.

"I kind of want a tattoo." I told him, peering the colorful tattoo he had himself. It covered the entire sleeve of his arm, and appeared to be a tree with a space themed scenery behind it. It was so colorful. That's what I wanted, to be colorful all throughout my body.

"Don't go too overboard when you start inking yourself." He advised.

Nico's bedroom door swung open, and they automatically started beaming at me. "Oliver! Oh my god, I thought you ran off. Don't disappear like that on me again." They went to sit beside me and gave me a big hug, which I wasn't given enough time to reciprocate for.

"Joshua, do you see this?" They gestured at me.

"Yeah, I see him pretty well." He responded without even turning around. "He just kind of came to me, it was so cool. I didn't even have to do anything."

"Nico..." I eyed them suspiciously. "Yeah, Nico, were you gonna kidnap him?" Jo's accusation made me uncomfortable in my seat.

"I was not, I just wanted to have a conversation with him, and look. He's..." They trailed off and looked at me. "I am so sorry if they're weirding you out, Oli."

"I don't mind." And I really didn't, no matter how much you weren't normal you still wouldn't faze me. I had no room to judge, so I wouldn't judge Nico. Jo worked on the toast as they scooted closer to me and spoke quietly into my ear. "How old are you, again?"

"Sixteen." I responded, would that change anything? They breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, good. I'm not going to jail. I'm nineteen."

"How are you only nineteen?" I asked. They gasped. "Are you saying I look old?"

"No!" I defended, smiling. "I mean, I just feel like you been through a lot and I didn't think you'd be so young."

"I've been through enough shit for multiple lifetimes, yeah." Nico spoke lowly. Early morning wouldn't be a good time to ask about it, so I kept my questions about their past to myself.

Jo finished preparing our meals and he stood on the other side of the counter from me and Nico as all three of us ate. It was actually really delicious, I don't think I've had a meal this good in a while.

"How'd you guys find each other, exactly?" He asked.

"Just kind of found them in an alleyway." Nico laughed at my response. "Jack and Alex found you in an alley."

"You were watching?"

"No, Jack told someone and I been hearing about it." They responded. I knit my eyebrows. "Jack has a big mouth, so don't get too mad at him about telling everyone about you guys."

"It's not like I can be." It's not like I'll be talking to him.

"Joshua, I think you and Jack would make great friends." Nico told them with a hopeful look on their face, but Jo just shook his head. "That's, um, that's not gonna happen." He chuckled.

"You could be friends if you guys tried – oh, Oliver, did you know Victor visited us not too long ago?" Nico brought up.

"You guys know each other?" I asked. I wouldn't have expected that, Vic has never talked about either of these two before. "Yeah, we don't hang out a lot, sadly, but I actually met him before I met Alex. Cool, right?"

"When exactly?" They could not be hinting at what I think they could be hinting at. "Fall. During 2005. He used to come over a lot... why'd you stop inviting him over, Joshua?" Nico looked at him, he looked uncomfortable to answer the question. I nearly just choked on my toast.

"He got busy with school, I thought I told you this."

"Ugh. He's so sweet, though. I miss him." Nico sighed. I didn't think that they'd be Vic's type, but here we were. You learn something new every day. "You guys dated?" I asked them. If I were to ask about their past, my first question would be about their relationship history.

"No! What do you take me for? Some whore?" They were playful about the accusation, but I still scooted back in my chair. Jo raised his hand slightly. "Vic and I kind of dated, used to be really close. I'm in an open relationship with my boyfriend, so he didn't mind me dating around sometimes."

"Kind of?"

"We never officially became boyfriends, we went on a few dates and hung out with each other a lot before we just kind of... fizzled out." Jo looked away from us. "Maybe Jack and Alex were more compelling? Or something, I don't know. Don't really care. We're still friends and that's good enough for me."

Nico pouted. "Should've snatched him up when you had the chance, Joshua."

"Stop calling me Joshua."

"Joshua." They teased. I laughed with them before clearing my throat. "So... his boyfriends talked about him having two exes." Jo had to be one of them, apparently. Now I just had to know whether he was the 'one that didn't matter.'

"They do not shut their mouths."

"I don't either." Nico responded irritably. Despite all the trash-talking they have done to them, they still insist on defending them. I guess after everything they still really like them as people. 

"We know and we love you for it, Nico." Jo told them, and then turned to me.

"Vic used to date this guy named Jaime the same summer we 'dated,' they lasted longer than him and I, but still pretty short-term. He told me he was living with him during, you know, the time he disappeared?" Jo gone emotionless as he continued explaining everything. 

"So, they visited our apartment together a couple times. It was nice, but obviously he's not going to be visiting again any time soon since he's back together with his boyfriends."

Jo avoided eye contact once again. "He still didn't give back my stupid flannel." He breathed out, implying that it wasn't thrifted like Vic said. Why would he be lying?

"What's Jaime like?"

"Oh, he's pretty cool I guess-"

"He's really sweet, and he's such a goofball, has this adorable smile. Really cute face, too." Nico gushed. Jo shook his head at them. "Yeah, he's pretty cute."

"Can I meet him?" I asked, Nico gleamed at me. "Omigod, yes! I like Jaime, we need to invite him over soon. Can we invite him over today? I miss him." They gave Jo puppy dog eyes as they pleaded.

"He already said he'll be coming over before his business trip for my birthday." Jo responded, just as disappointed in the news as Nico was. "Busy guy?" I assumed. Jo nodded. "He's about ten years older than me and has his whole life in order. I can not relate." He joked.

"Eh, you still have time." I told him. His expression told me that he didn't believe that. 

"I wish he wasn't always out and about, 'cause he doesn't come over as much as our other friends." Nico pouted. "He doesn't always have the time for us, and we're gonna have to respect that."

Nico took their empty plate and made their way to the sink. Jo sighed. "I do like having him around, though."

"Yeah, since you're into older men." Nico smirked before they turned on the sink. I stifled a laugh, which Jo smiled at. He almost looked like he had fangs. 

"I think you'll like having him around, too."

And I thought I'd like having him and Nico around, as well.


	27. ♥analyze me♥

Time gone by. Unexpectedly, too. I've thought about the four guys who sheltered Kellin and I plenty of times, some nights I would even lay in bed right next to Nico as they would be sound asleep, mentally debating whether or not I should sneak out and find my way back to their apartment. I'd always decide not to, of course.

I've disappeared all the sudden with no evidence of my whereabouts, which was freeing but made me worry about them at the same time. Vic must've felt the same when he ran off since he did the same. He did end up coming back to them with open arms, and that won't be me.

Maybe the don't even care that I'm gone. The possibility hurts me, I missed them. Shit, I missed Kellin even more.

The day we started dating we couldn't stand being separated, and when we had to be we would text and message each other all day. I spent every waking moment with him one way or another, yet I could never get sick of him. He still managed to be the highlight of my day.

I don't think I'll ever get used to life without him. Before I met Kellin, my life was a black and white unfulfilling void. He was what brought color into my world and made it worth living in.

We fit together so well, it was like we were just destined to be. He was a piece of me, he made me feel whole. I still couldn't accept the fact that he doesn't love me, it just seemed impossible. But who am I to judge? Who could love someone like me?

Jo said it might be a good thing that he left me, and that I can now 'know what it's like to be independent and figure out my career path before wasting my time with a boy.' He thinks if I'm so convinced that we were meant to be, he'll turn back up in my life when we're supposed to.

He just didn't understand what it was like to be in love with someone like I was with Kellin. I wanted to be with him now, not some undefined amount of time later. Turns out that's not what he wants.

Now, despite my hopes, we're still not together, but Nico was pretty good at distracting me just by being theirself. They liked waking me up in the middle of the night so we could travel to empty parts of the city so they could set the inside of a bin on fire. We'll sit in front of it, either talking all night or merely look at it and bask in its warm glow.

Jo would tag along sometimes, bringing a backpack full of spray cans so he could paint on a nearby wall as I watched. He's a brilliant artist, he never told me anything specific about the job he worked at, but he said it had to do with art and marketing. It must be a good one, especially if it was enough to cover for the apartment. 

Nico didn't have a job. They just went around town, investigate people that walked by, set things on fire and generally live freely all while staying unemployed. Jo didn't seem to mind, he cared about them enough to let them stay in his house for free. He _really_ cared about them.

Nico said they wanted to be a singer, though. They had recorded an album under the name 'Chill Coat.' They played their music to me once, and I had to pretend that I didn't already hear it before. I had danced to it with Kellin. I finally figured out why their voice sounded so familiar when they sang to me the night we met.

They told me that they wouldn't be working on new material until they felt like they were happier and less tense. I caught them writing a song days later.

It was June fifteenth now. Three days before Jo's birthday, and three days before Jack's. I guess I'll only be celebrating one, but it was okay. I liked Jo, he felt safe. Maybe that's why Nico clings onto him so much.

Jaime came by, but only stayed for half an hour. He gave Jo a small batch of velvet cupcakes and told Jo he'd come back from abroad with his gifts. They seemed rather close, but they were coworkers after all.

He had dark hair and brown eyes, a nice smile and a loud personality. I noticed that he asked me permission before hugging me, but without hesitation was physically affectionate with Jo and Nico. They must've already established boundaries with each other, which was of course none.

I mostly sat silently as they quickly caught up with each other, talking about how they didn't want each other getting into trouble. I wanted to ask him about Vic, but I couldn't find the right time until he left. Nico didn't let him walk out the door until they showered his face with at least twenty kisses.

Jo was putting way the leftover cupcakes into a container before leaving it on the counter. "Did you like him?" He asked me.

"Yeah, how long have you guys known each other?" I noted how comfortable they seemed to be with one another, but that just might be how he is with people.

"Almost four years now. He's the one that got me my job." He informed. "You been... working with him since you were sixteen?" Not even I had a job now, which made me more confused. 

"It has different branches of jobs, I just got an easier one than him."

His eyes turned to Nico, who promptly rushed over to me. "He always insists on getting me employed into a branch similar to Joshua's." They complained. "So I have something to do, but I don't just sit around, I have my studies and he refuses to listen to them."

"Your studies? About people?"

"Mhm." They responded. Jo sighed. "I think he finds it..." He trailed off, hesitant to continue. 

"He finds it what?"

"Invasive." He finished. Nico frowned and tried to speak, but couldn't figure out the words to say. "I know that you're passionate about-"

"It's fine, Jo. I think I'm gonna go." They interrupted him calmly. I was confused at the sudden tension. Jo didn't say anything when they got up from their chair. "I'm taking Oliver with me."

Nico grabbed my hand, deciding that they weren't going to let me choose whether or not I wanted to go with them. Jo was still silent as they brought me outside of the apartment.

"Are you okay?" I expressed my concern as they were still dragging me down the stairs. 

"I'm fine, I just need some air." They responded. That'd imply that we were going to just hang out outside, but instead they brought me to their car. "I want to take you somewhere."

"Somewhere special?" I responded, already knowing that Nico seemed to think most places were special in their own way. "It's only special on some Friday evenings."

They were being cryptic again. "You always want to take me anywhere you want me to."

"Do you have anywhere else to go?" They spoke kindly and looked at me with gentle eyes, like they'd take me anywhere I wanted if I asked. I shook my head. "Thought so. Just bear with me, I think you'll like this place."

The whole ride Nico looked tense, constantly gulping down as if trying to hold back tears. I wasn't sure if it would be a better idea to comfort them or leave them be. I decided on the latter.

They ended up bringing me to the outskirts of town and to the top of a two-story brick building. There weren't very many people around, and the rooftop gave us a nice view of the sun setting, I could easily tell why they thought I'd like it here. Who wouldn't? Although this place didn't exactly stand out, it didn't need to.

"Behind there." They pointed towards a vent near the ledge, and proceeded to bring me over to it. "We're gonna have to stay hidden." 

I wanted to ask why we did, but they likely weren't going to give me a direct answer. "And, uh, this is a lot earlier than we're supposed to be here, but it's fine. We'll just... wait here a little while."

I've gotten used to just sitting in Nico's presence while we exchanged no words, because that was how they preferred how to spend time with me. Most times they took me to their favorite spots, we'd end up just quietly sitting next to each other. Turns out, that's not what they were planning on doing tonight.

"We need to speak quietly so no one hears us, but I wanted to tell you something." They shifted to body towards me and gazed at my eyes. I did the same, they seemed to love eye contact. "I really don't like when people say that kind of stuff to me."

Nico started to twiddle their thumbs. "About your... studies?"

"Mhm. He's been trying to tell me to stop obsessing over people, but every time he does it makes me feel horrible. I straight up can't stand listening to people act like my studies are a bad thing, it makes me want to burst into tears. So, I always leave when Joshua does. I think he's starting to get the point that I won't listen to him." They muttered frustratedly. 

"What's so special about other people?" I asked. 

"It's interesting to learn about people's past, everyone is hiding something they don't want people to know. And I like watching people do the things they do when they think nobody is around, and analyzing people and finding out what kind of person they are from nonverbal behavior and how they act. I even do that with people I don't even find interesting. It's just what I do. I do it unconsciously."

That was alarming to me. How much facts did they know about me that I've never told them? They only do this for their own personal enjoyment rather than as something to exchange with other people, they must have so much information stored in their head that no one knows about.

"Do you want to hear about what I have on you?"

It was scary that they could have studied my entire backstory without my consent, but the thought of hearing their analyzations on me was intriguing. I nodded my head, mouth agape. They giggled. "It's fun to hear someone talk about you, isn't it?"

No, when the people at school talked about me it was always about how weird I am.

Nico took a moment to sort out their thoughts and figure out exactly what they do have figured out about me. "The newspapers about your father searching for you said your name is Oliver Scott Sykes. You don't have a mother and you have a little brother named Tom, you live with him and your dad in a suburban house two hours away from here."

So far, they haven't said anything that would require much digging to find. Maybe I was worrying too much. "Accurate, right?"

"It is."

"I know, it's information straight from your father. Let me continue..." They grinned out of excitement, like they had been dying to share what they've learned for years.

"Don't kill me for talking about Kellin." I won't, but I'll probably start crying again. "But, in the report both your parents described you guys as close friends. It might just be to protect your identities, but I think you're closeted. Aren't you?"

"Not sure why that's important." I mumbled. Sometimes I feel like a coward for never coming out, but doing so could have unpredictable results. I doubt my dad would've been okay with my sexuality with how much he pushed toxic masculinity onto me, calling me a girl and all that garbage. He didn't give me a comfortable environment to be myself without stressing.

"It's not, but it was just something I noticed. So, you are?"

"Only to my family, I guess."

"Yeah? Well, your family isn't around anymore. You don't have to hide yourself. Especially not around me or Joshua." Nico smiled. That was easy to forget sometimes, but they're right. I had nobody to appease for anymore. Looking for freedom, liberation and belonging is the reason Kellin and I ran away in the first place, wasn't it?

"Joshua got kicked out of his house after he came out when he was only sixteen." Nico began, alerting my attention. "Got into a lot of criminal activity, he had to steal money from people and from stores to keep himself on his feet. He met Jaime eventually, which you know, got him a job. It's kind of similar to how he met me."

It was a good thing that Kellin and I found people that sheltered us, I could only imagine what it's like putting your freedom at risk just to keep yourself alive. "You were homeless?"

"For a period of time."

"How'd you end up that way?"

Nico sighed deeply, ready to change the subject. There was a type of heaviness lingering in the air from my question. I shouldn't have asked that, it was too personal. I felt guilty, but at least they weren't angry at me.

"You're very shy." They pointed out, forgetting that I even asked anything. "And a little irritable, and you're always frowning when you're idle. It makes you come off as rude sometimes and unapproachable, does it? But you don't mean to be." Geez... I had no idea I seemed like that. Maybe it wouldn't been better if I didn't know.

"Have you ever felt like the people liked Kellin more than you?" They asked out of the blue, that question made me feel like they were targeting me somewhat.

"I don't know..." I trailed off. It wouldn't have been something that I'd be focused on, I just cared about him as a person instead of how other people perceived him.

"Haven't spoken to him yet, and since you guys have only been in town for a little less than two months, so I haven't learned much by watching him either." If they've been watching him recently, I want to know if he's talked about me...

"He talks more than you, and he's a bit more expressive when he speaks. Dresses more colorfully, and he looks a little less threatening than you."

"How do I look threatening?" I pondered. I thought I looked easy to beat up, or at least that's how people treated me. 

"You're pretty tall, taller than me. Most occasions you're dressed in all black. The way your hair always seems to cover one of your eyes makes you come off as mysterious. Also, attractive people are just generally intimidating, at least to me."

Nico has called me cute at least two times a day ever since we met, but somehow it's still shocking when they compliment me. I covered my mouth to hide my smile. "And you get flustered easily."

"Oh my god, Nico." I covered my face up, which I was for sure turning red. I shouldn't even be this flattered, they probably compliment everyone they meet like that.

"You know I'm right." They scooted closer to me to where our legs were against each other and put and arm around me. "Another thing, you don't like your hair."

"How would you know that?" I chuckled. "Because you straighten it. And obviously it's dyed, since nobody's hair is black with brown highlights. You can see your roots growing in-"

"Hey! I haven't dyed it in a while... I never bothered asking for black hair dye when I lived with..." Maybe Nico didn't want me to talk about them, but they didn't seem to react. Instead, they began to mindlessly mess with my hair.

"I like talking about them." They stated, it was already clear who they were talking about. "I've known them for longer, and actually formed a friendship with them, which isn't always the case for the people I study. Want to hear about them?"

"Are you going to give me their entire backstory?" I questioned. "I won't. I want to keep that information to myself." 

I asked that as a joke, but they were serious with their answer. I didn't actually think they'd know their entire backstory...

"I'll probably end up going on forever if I don't keep my analyzations short, so." They began. "Jack is eccentric and sometimes says things he's not supposed to, he's kind of impulsive but so am I. Victor is sympathetic and nonjudgmental, he's good at understanding other peoples feelings but he tends to bottle up his own emotions and be dishonest. He's such a private person, I hate it."

Nico struggled coming up with the rest of their analyzations, but they said them anyway. "Alex used to work with Joshua, but he quit the job for something more 'normal.'" They rolled their eyes. I wouldn't have been able to guess, they must have been close friends once upon a time.

"He tries to be private, but he's not very good at hiding his emotions and he's not good at lying, either. I always found him charming and he always knows exactly what he wants and doesn't hesitate to achieve it. He used to tell me about..." They stopped themself when they realized they were seconds away from going on and on about him.

"About what, Nico?"

"It doesn't really matter. I don't talk to him anymore." They sighed. 

Nico went to check behind the vent, searching for something. They clicked their tongue in disappointment. I looked where they were peering as well, and saw nothing there. We hid ourselves behind the vent again. "Maybe I'm just unlucky today, I don't know."

"What are you looking for?"

"A friend, I guess." They pouted. I don't know what Nico considers a friend, they seem to love everybody to a certain extent.

"You didn't say anything about Josh." I pointed out. Nico shrugged.

"I know more about his life than him as a person, since I've never spoken to him before. So..."

I thought that was surprising, at this point I guessed that they knew all of Alex's boyfriends. "Are you ever going to talk to him?"

"I plan to." They smiled. "He's hiding something, I'm telling you. Like, he always seems so calm and acts like he has nothing to hide, but I swear he does." 

Those were some bold statements they had there.

"Like what?" I asked, I didn't think he had anything to hide. He seemed like an open person, and always stayed out of trouble no matter how rebellious he looks. "Okay, so, do you remember the-"

From not too far, someone began playing the guitar, and Nico stopped themself. I was about to ask a question, but they put a finger to my lips. "Don't say anything, just listen to him."

So _that's_ why Nico saw this place as special. Someone would play music here. I thought that was rather sweet. I started to crawl around the vent, but they stopped me from doing that as well. "Don't let him see you, either. I think it'll ruin the magic." Their voice was quiet, making sure the musician wouldn't hear.

He seemed to be skilled at his guitar, and he played beautifully. I calmed myself down and let this stranger put me in a trance with his music. He started to sing, his voice was fragile and cracked at some points, but it just added emotion and rawness.

_"She sits up high, surrounded by the sun. One million branches and she loves every one..."_


	28. ♥28♥

He sounded familiar. I gasped. "Victor never played anything for you, Oliver?" Nico whispered to me. I shook my head. "I didn't know he played and sang like... that."

"He's so talented, right? He's here every other Friday evening, but I come here every single week just in case. I like listening to him." They silenced themself for a moment so we could listen to Vic sing a couple more lines. "I think this is his safe place, you know, to wind down. He's always here alone."

Vic's voice echoed through the air, he didn't sound too distant from us, so I'd guess he was sitting on the exact same rooftop we were on.

_"This love was out of control, three-two-one where did it go?"_

"I wonder who he's singing about... I wonder if he ever wrote a song about Joshua. He probably wouldn't tell me if he did." Nico commented.

"You'd be able to tell, wouldn't you?"

"I would. But, this one isn't about him, he's singing about a girl, I think. Now, hush. I want to hear the rest." Nico rested their head on my shoulder and gave into the sound.

Not only was he a good musician, but his lyrics were beautiful as well. It made me wonder what he was singing about, too. Every line seemed to have been written with love, I listened to his words closely as he poured his emotions into them and sing a few more verses.

_"If I were you, I'd put that away. See, you're just wasted and thinking 'bout the past again. Darling, you'll be okay. She said-"_

_"If you were me, you'd do the same. 'Cause I can't take it anymore, I'll draw the..."_

A new voice started to sing, and started to trail off. "Wait, what were the lyrics again?" He started to laugh.

"C'mon, we practiced this song at home."

"I have bad memory! Give me the lyrics sheet."

I was suddenly stunned. I knew that voice, _oh my god_ how could I not? Why would I not be able to recognize the same singing voice that I used to hear almost every night? I hadn't realized how much I've been longing to hear it again until now, _ugh_ his voice was just as angelic as I remembered. I started to choke up.

"You know, now that I think about it, this song might be about a guy..." Nico examined. I gently pushed them off me. "That's what you're focused on?" I aggressively whispered.

"Is that not what I should be focused on? I want to know if its about Joshua."

"No! He has Kellin with him! Holy fuck. _Shit,_ I can't believe they're here together." I started to panic. Quietly panic.

"Well, I'm sure they're not on a date or anything. I don't think Vic is into younger guys... or maybe does and never told me."

"Nico, don't even suggest the possibility of that. I haven't seen Kellin in so long, and he's right here, he's so close." I should look. I've been dying to see his face again. Slowly, I started to scoot to the edge of the vents and peeked.

Vic and Kellin were sitting at the edge of the building, their legs dangling from it. Vic was holding his acoustic guitar, watching Kellin read over the lyrics. "I got it now." He told him.

"You better. I worked hard on them." Vic continued playing the instrumental as Kellin sang, I could see the way he felt the music from afar.

_"I'll draw the shades and close the door, everything's not alright and I would rather..."_

My eyes seemed to close out of instinct as I listened to him sing, almost like he was serenading me to sleep like he used to. It's been so long since I've heard his voice, I felt like I was merely dreaming of it. But I wasn't.

They finished the song together, discussed for a moment about what they were going to play next, and moved on to the next song. They went on the next ten minutes, performing duets. Their voices mixed so well as if they were created specifically for each other.

My heart started to ache, and my bottom lip trembled. It was too much, everything was too much.

I opened my eyes for only a second, and I saw Kellin look up to the sky that was slowly transitioning from orange to dark blue. Vic said something to him, I don't know exactly what he told him, I couldn't be bothered to figure it out, but Kellin was laughing. He was smiling so big as he gazed at the newly visible stars. I felt a tear roll down my face, but I tried my best to mute any sound that came out of me.

Nico pulled me towards them, holding me close. Kellin started to sing over Vic's guitar again as I silently cried, hearing him sing was so satisfying but so painful. "He sounds beautiful." They commented.

"He does." I murmured into their arm. "He's _so_ talented."

"I can tell." Nico responded. "He'll love you again, eventually. You'll both love each other again."

They were definitely just pulling that straight from their head just to comfort me. We'll never get back together. He's the one that left me, he's the one that lost feelings which means any possibility of that happening was doomed.

It'd be pathetic of me to sit here, expecting him to come running back to me. All these emotions and feelings I'm feeling were just because of one boy, why am I doing this to myself?

Vic and Kellin stopped performing, and were conversating about something. I was spacing out from their conversation, scared of what they could be talking about, tired of hearing Kellin laugh because of anything besides me. Then, I heard him say my name.

Nico seemed to have noticed, too. I felt them slightly lift their head, keeping their ears open for what he was about to say, so I sat up and listened closely. He was talking about me, he hadn't forgotten that I existed.

"-I know that he would, because he told me he'd love me no matter what."

"You're that confident."

"That confident." He repeated. "I feel free."

"Free?" Vic seemed confused at what Kellin said.

"After Oli and I were together for a while, I started to feel kind of tense around him. When I got a boyfriend I knew it was going to be inevitable that we were going to, y'know, and I never wanted to. You know how I thought I must not love him because of it?"

"Mhm. Go on."

"It was stressing me out so much, and I basically forced myself to go through it with the bathroom thing thinking that I'd suddenly be into it, and I wasn't. I thought I was a failure of a boyfriend, I think I didn't have enough time to think over the whole thing before we talked about it. I implied that I didn't love him..."

"But you've thought about it now."

"And I know my identity. I have a word for it! And it's normal, you told me that, seriously, you couldn't stop reminding me."

"Because you kept telling me you thought otherwise!"

"I know! Thank you, by the way."

"You're so negative towards yourself sometimes."

"I know. I've come to terms with it, I'm ready to tell him."

There was a long moment of silence after he said that. He mentioned the bathroom thing, and how he was disinterested in the whole time. I didn't think I made him feel pressured, it made me feel shitty how he forced himself to go through the situation.

I mean, I don't care if he didn't want to do those kinds of acts with me if he still loves me, but I had just thought you were supposed to since that's how it always seemed in books or movies, but we already weren't the kind of couple you'd see in movies anyways. It must not be true, and I hoped it wasn't, because if Kellin didn't see me that way, I could thrive on his love by itself. I already was before we seemingly broke up.

Nico said they aren't interested in romance, but they're still intimate with people in that way. It must just be the opposite for him. 

"Kellin-"

"I know, you're going to say something about how he could be anywhere and how we can't find him, but I have this feeling that we're so close to seeing each other again. Maybe that's evidence that we're connected to each other, I can feel his presence."

He knew I was here. That had to be a clue.

"You love him, huh?"

"I am, and I'm going to even when he doesn't love me."

I think my heart just melted, I wanted to stand up and call his name, but all I could do was feel my tears dry up as my lips curled into a smile, could this really be? He loved me, he still loved me. I've been in despair for so long, it almost didn't sound real. You'd think this would be a prank.

"He's going to turn up one day, we always find each other. That's just what we do." Kellin stated without hesitating. I took a deep breath, trying to prevent myself from running towards him right now. He wasn't lying. We always did find each other and we always _will_. 

"Anyways, are we going home?"

"Yeah, we are. Wait up for me when you get too far, I just need to situate myself for a moment here."

"Did I make you emotional with my confession?"

"You did. Now, go on."

I heard the sound of his fast-paced footsteps as he got off the roof, making his way towards home. Nico looked at me with a smug look. "I told you. I've been watching love instead of experiencing it for so long, it's so easy to tell when two people love each other now."

I wiped my eyes of dried up tears. "I can't believe it."

"You have to go back to him. Quick." They suggested. I looked in front of me, just imagining how easy it would be to make my way towards him and claim him as mine again, I could do it right now. Slowly, I started to lift myself off the ground-

"Nico!" I heard Vic call out. The both of us were suddenly alarmed and we looked at each other with wide eyes, wondering what we were going to do.

"Don't even act like I don't know you're there, you literally have been coming here to listen to me the past five months, of course I noticed."

Nico put a finger to their lips to signify that I should stay quiet. They stood up and went around the vent. I couldn't see them anymore.

"You sound beautiful, Vic. Kellin does, too." They complimented. "Yeah, Nico. I know. Thought I'd bring him over to make things interesting for you." Vic responded, I could hear his smile.

"Aw, just for me?" Nico replied with a fake overtly sweet voice. "No, that was sarcasm. Listen, I came over here to ask for a favor, it's about Oli."

He probably has no idea that I was living with his ex-boyfriend and Nico when I was absent. And everything that we did together - oh my god I let Nico take my virginity. That's bad. That's very bad.

"You should bring me back to your house so I could discuss this favor with you and your boyfriends." They told him, I'm not sure if they were implying an actual conversation or something else.

"Nico, you know I can't let them know we talk to each other."

"They should know by now that I'm irresistible."

"We never had any relations."

"I'm irresistible even as a friend." I was amused at how witty they were being, but I wanted to hear what Vic wanted to say about me already.

"Listen, I was just saying that I know you're aware of peoples whereabouts."

"How would you know that?"

"Seriously, Nico? You found out that I perform by myself here without me even telling you, I don't know how you do it but I know it means you can help me with this. You have to find Oli."

I, uh, should probably get up from the vents and reveal myself right now if he thinks they haven't found me yet. It was more like I found them, really. Nico seemed to take a while to respond to Vic, I could only imagine what was going through their mind.

"I've already seen him." They said, which was fine with me. "He told me that Kellin fell out of love with him or something?"

"That's not true! He thought it was, but Kellin was misinterpreted his own feelings, you see. We came to the conclusion that he was asexual." It must've been the word that described his attraction, funny, I never heard it applied to humans.

"Really? That's so cool."

"It is, it is pretty cool. Kellin wants to fix things with Oli, you heard what he just said not too long ago, didn't you?"

"It was the cutest thing I have ever heard."

"Young love is like that, I guess. I never experienced something like that when I was sixteen."

So even he agrees that what we shared was special. I was still letting it sink in that he wanted me back, and I was going to claim him as mine again with open arms. The previous stress I had about his attraction to me was gone, we could be together again without worrying about it.

"If they were so in love, then why did Oli think Kellin didn't care about him? Even if he was asexual?"

"He said he made it sound like he didn't. Now that he has a label, I think it'll be easier for him to explain it to Oli."

I can't believe I ran away from Kellin because of _that_. Everything made sense now. I got up to my feet and walked around the vent. Vic was holding his guitar against his side, and when we met eyes for the first time in forever, he nearly dropped it.

"Hey..." I said awkwardly. "I should probably go find him."

Vic handed Nico his guitar and stepped towards me. I somewhat expected him to start shouting at me, but instead he hugged me sweetly. I hugged him back, uncomfortably slouching down slightly since he was shorter than me.

"Geez, you can't just run off like that. We been worried sick about you." He said as my arms were still around him. "I swear I'll never do it again." I promised. He held onto me for a few more moments before pulling away.

"You want him back, right? Even after you heard that he was ace?" Vic asked me. "I don't know what makes you think I wouldn't?" I was almost offended that he'd imply I might not. He smiled. "Let's go get him, then. Just follow me."

"I can go too, right?" Nico asked, they thought Vic would just tell them to go home.

"You're my friend, it's fine. C'mon."

I was minutes away from meeting eyes with him again, seeing his smile and hearing him talk to me, I don't think I'm prepared. Vic kept telling me to keep my cool, he's very comforting but I'm not good at keeping my cool.

We made it to a street that I recognized, one that I haven't been at in a while. That was when I saw Kellin standing against the wall, I think his neon green bangs were fading to a lime. He had his arms crossed, waiting patiently. He thought he was only going to see Vic, but he's wrong. 

"Kellin!"

He recognized my voice right away, his blank expression immediately formed into a smile of happiness the moment he saw me. I ran up towards him as he was already holding his arms out for me. When we finally got to each other, I almost fell over on the pavement with him in my arms.

He felt the same way I remember, smaller and warm. Kellin buried his face into neck, getting as close to me as possible, his hair smelled like mint. I had been dying for this moment in _so_ long, I thought I was never going to have it again. 

We stayed like that for a while, arms around each other and basking in the familiar feeling. There wasn't any need for words, we both knew what we were going to ask each other anyways.

"You're back." He gleamed. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just didn't know what my own feelings meant, and I only just found out-"

"I heard you talk about it on the roof." I pulled away from him, still gently holding both his hands with mine. "Oh, you did?" He covered his nervous smile as his face flushed pink.

"Don't worry, I thought it was adorable." I told him. He breathed out a sigh of relief. "Do you have any idea how scared I was? I thought you would hate me or think I'm weird."

"I don't think you're weird, Kells." Saying that nickname was so satisfying. "You know I'd support and love you no matter what, right? That stuff doesn't matter to me as long as I still have you."

"I do, I just kept doubting myself all the time. I'm so happy to have you again, I missed this _so_ bad, Oli. I missed _you._ "

"Promise we'll never leave each other again?" I gazed into his eyes, they were iced over with tears. They seemed to sparkle from the streetlights around us.

"I wouldn't be able to live if we did." He brought his lips to mine, and we shared our first kiss in a long time. I had longed for it the day I left him, and now I could melt into his arms again. I had the love of my life back. 

I didn't want the moment to end, but we couldn't stay here for eternity. Kellin broke the kiss and looked behind me. He pulled away from my body, a bit confused. I didn't understand why he seemed so perplexed until Vic and Nico started running up to us.

"I'm guessing things turned out well since you two started making out in the middle of the street." Vic said, which we both laughed about. "Seriously, no shame at all?"

"No shame." I replied. "Were we supposed to hide our feelings during a moment like this?" Vic shook his head, giving a toothless grin.

Nico took a step up and messed with the hem of their shirt. "I'm glad you're back together now, I always liked you guys together." They said. I found that flattering, they were just trying to be nice in front of Kellin, but he looked a bit on guard at the sight of them.

"Who... are you?" He asked them, reminding me that they hadn't met yet. There was a lot of explaining I was going to have to do, oh no. I glanced around awkwardly, unsure if I should tell him the things we did. They wouldn't mind, but was it okay to hide it from Kellin? "My fr-"

"I'm Nico. I think you've heard of me." They held out their hand for him. Surprisingly, he gladly took it and gave him a handshake. "Uh, yeah, I have."

"I like your hair." They told him. He seemed taken aback by the compliment. "Thank you? That's... really sweet. So, do you know Oli? Or..."

"Yeah, we're friends."

"How did you meet?" Kellin asked, about to start a conversation until I broke it up. "It's a long story, but we just kind of met and they let me live with them. I've been at their house when I was gone."

"With... Jo?" Vic asked. His nervousness tell me that he knew I must know about their past relationship. He shouldn't be stressed out about it. "I mean, yeah."

"He's a sweet kid, I'll miss having you around, Oliver." Nico told me. I was of course happy that I was going to be with my 'parents' again, but I didn't want to automatically abandon them and Jo. What was I going to do?

They turned their back, on their way to leave before I could even say anything. "Are you going already? I kind of wanted to get to know you." Kellin called out, which made them turn back around right away.

"Hold on, we can't be out for so long." Vic said. "Or we can all stay at their apartment for the night?" I suggested without thinking, hoping it doesn't come off the wrong way. "That'd be so cool! Are you gonna be there too, Vic?" Nico asked him. They wanted to be around Vic again so bad.

"My boyfriends are going to be worried sick about me."

"Tell them you're staying with Joshua's boyfriend. They trust him." I didn't know that, actually I didn't know anything about his boyfriend in the first place. Vic turned towards Kellin and I, and he could tell from the looks on our faces we were on board with the idea. "Fine." He said. Nico couldn't hide their smile.

Kellin held onto my arm protectively as they walked up to us. "Let's go, lovebirds." They said started to make their way to the car, instead of staying a witty remark like I expected. Nico and Vic started to walk off together, and I was going to follow, but Kellin pulled me back.

"We didn't say I love you, yet." He pointed out. "I thought we didn't have to."

Kellin just smiled at me and kissed me again, no matter how many kisses he gives me I'll never get tired of them. "Would it be a bad thing if we did?"

I playfully rolled my eyes at him. "I love you, Kellin."

"I love you too, Oli." He responded. Last time we said it to each other was in the bathroom that same night we both want to forget, but right now it felt so fitting to say it again to each other, when we're back together, starting over when we're both more comfortable.

"What are you guys doing?" Vic called out to us, how likely of us to forget that we were supposed to be following.

I took Kellin's hand and caught up to him and Nico, random passersby glancing at the both of us. They didn't matter. I've gotten over them now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i handle the whole situation w/ kellins identity well coz im not ace so i wasn't sure


	29. ♥29♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so... three things
> 
> 1\. obey absolutely slaps and the mv was the best gayest thing i've ever seen <3 kinda wanted to see oli and dom make out while shirtless and covered in blood but what we got was cute. i propose oliblud as the ship name and also oli is the bottom.
> 
> 2\. if ur uncomfortable with the band member i chose as nico just, uh, pretend they're yungblud or something. not gonna get into how i feel about The Situation (i'm still hurting a lot rn tbh. ✨lets try not to talk about it✨) but by now i cant change who they are because we're so far along... yeah. saying this now bc the reveal was supposed to be a pleasant surprise but it might not be a pleasant surprise now to some people 😔
> 
> 3\. the story is done! so just sit back... relax...

Kellin and I followed Vic and Nico into their apartment. All of the lights were off, which would make you think that nobody was home if Jo didn't walk out of his room. He didn't say anything as he stood there, frozen and stunned to see all four of us.

"Can we talk, Nico?" Jo asked. They nodded. 

"Get comfortable," Nico said, turning on the living room lights and following Jo into his room, shutting the door.

"He must not be happy to see me," Vic said with a smug smile on his face. Kellin was looking around the apartment, it was a bit larger than the other one.

"Did you live here the entire time you were gone?" He asked me. "Basically, yeah."

"I guess nothing bad happened to you, then," he responded cheerfully. "I didn't think you'd be in safe hands if you were with these two," Vic told me quietly, making sure they wouldn't hear through the walls.

"They're surprisingly pleasant," I told him.

"That's what I thought, too," Vic went to sit on the couch, he must've found it very easy to make himself at home. "So, you been here before?" Kellin assumed. I remembered that he has. Plenty of times.

"Yeah..." Vic responded, giving no room to continue the conversation. Kellin shrugged it off and started to walk around the room and kitchen, dragging me around with him. "If they were both so pleasant you probably didn't even miss me."

"That is _not_ true!" I responded, but he was laughing to himself. He wasn't being serious with the accusation, but it still hurt a bit. "I'm just kidding. I'm glad you're okay, I thought something bad happened to you."

"I'm glad you still love me," I breathed out. "Like I'd ever stop."

We gazed at each other longingly before snapping out of our sappy moment when Vic started looking at us from a few feet away. "He never stopped talking about you after you left, Oli."

"Vic no! Don't tell him-"

"My point is, don't go running off like all the sudden like you did, since, you know... we were all worried about you."

I sighed to myself guiltily and went to sit right next to him. "Didn't you do the exact same thing, though?"

He didn't know what to say, it made me laugh a bit. "Is it because you hate your boyfriends?" I asked him, that's what everyone outside of their relationship seemed to think. Vic was confused about the question.

"Out of all people, you think so?" He wondered. 

"I thought you'd at least not like Josh, since he forced you to date him and stuff," Kellin added.

"Forced me? Who told you that?"

We didn't really give a direct answer, knowing that we must've been lied to. "He said you kept rejecting him... and it took a while for you to go on a date with him."

"Oh, I was just playing hard to get. It's an instinct, I wasn't forced into anything. He's kind of clumsy with his flirting, he's a baby gay," Vic laughed, speaking fondly of him.

"We just... I don't know, someone told us it was like that."

"Who are you kids hanging out with?" He asked, not even getting defensive, but he was still concerned.

Neither of us could answer before Nico and Jo walked out of their room. Nico was smiling brightly. Vic looked over at them. "I almost thought I'd hear you guys yelling at each other in there."

"We already promised ourselves not to fight like that," Nico responded shyly. "Took a lot of convincing, but you can stay for tonight."

"Nice. So, I'm guessing you two are sleeping in Jo's room together while they take yours?" Vic gestured over at us. He already knew how they worked out situations like this.

"And you're staying with us," Nico said, taking his hand. Jo and Vic were quick to say no. "I could just sleep on the couch."

"We have so much catching up to do, though. Please? You can just sleep on the floor."

Kellin and I ignored what was going on in front of us and went into Nico's room. He seemed to gleam a bit when he looked around.

"Looks just like how I expected," he commented. "Pretty messy."

"Not that bad," I said. My room back at home was usually a lot more messy than this, I just cleaned it all up before Kellin would come over. I'd have manga and my clothing scattered all over the floor.

"I'm snooping around," Kellin said, a bit too enthusiastically. I almost argued against it until I realized Nico might have done the exact same thing to us. "Don't make it look like we did."

"You think I'm not that careful?" He asked in fake-hurt. Kellin stopped in his tracks when the door slowly creaked open, revealing Vic.

"I gave in. I'm going to be in the room right next to this one with Nico and Jo, so if you need anything-"

"We can take care of ourselves," I assured him.

"Sure you can," Vic responded. "All five of us can hang out in the morning, but right now Nico is bugging me and Jo is pretending he doesn't want to see me – again."

"Why?"

"I - he, like, I... uh. Um. It's a long story. My point is, I kind of decided that I wanted to settle things so we could move on for _gods sake_."

Kellin and I looked at each other for a moment, curious about what was really going on, but not bothering to press him about it.

"Nico's excited to get to know you, but first we'll sort things out with each other. Plus, they probably already know enough about you. Goodnight."

Vic closed the door behind himself and left Kellin and I alone in the room.

He walked up towards me and kissed my jaw. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oli," he sighed, like I meant to know the answer already. "You were gone for almost two weeks. With a couple strangers. Why didn't you just come back home?" He questioned.

"Thought you wouldn't want me there after I ran off..."

"Aw..." He murmured. "I could never be mad at you. None of us could. I don't want you disappearing like that again."

"I couldn't," I assured him, putting one hand on his cheek and kissing him gently. "I think at this point, if we ever lose each other I'd do anything to find you again."

"Me too, but that won't happen," he stated confidently. "From now on, you're stuck with me."

"I think I can deal with that," I said, smiling into the kiss I proceeded to give him. He returned it, but quickly pulled away. I felt a little less warm without him in my grasp.

"Alright, I'm gonna start looking around now. Vic said they already know a lot about me... maybe they have documents on me."

"Y'know, I kind of just wanted to go to sleep," I told him. "You could always just ask them what they have on you, they're not very secretive about their research."

Kellin sighed. "Mkay. I guess I'll just lay off it, since I'm kind of tired, too," he said as he pulled off his shirt, a little too suddenly. I think I need to stop getting flustered over the little things.

"You're telling me everything you did during the time you were gone, though."

I did do just that, after the lights were shut off and we were in bed together. Of course, I left out a few stories, but that was only because I thought they were better kept to myself. I ended up passed out before Kellin was.

Turns out, I only stayed asleep for only a few hours before I woke up to him getting out of bed and putting his shirt on, leaving the room afterwards. I expected him to come back after a few minutes, just assuming he went to the bathroom or something, but he didn't. I decided to get up and look around for him.

The bathroom door was open and the lights were turned off. I turned on the ones in the living room and saw nobody. There weren't any voices that could be heard, either. His absence was making me nervous. What if he just decided to run off like I did?

I'm being silly. We just made a pact to stop running off from each other. After realizing he was nowhere in the apartment, I quietly opened the front door and finally saw him standing on the balcony that was at the end of the hall. He leaned against the railing, looking out at the city.

It was like he could telepathically feel me a few feet behind him, because he looked behind himself despite how silent I was. He smiled at me and waved me over. I pushed open the glass doors to the balcony and stood next to him.

"Did you sleep?" I asked him, just making sure he rested at all.

"A little bit. I snooped around right after you fell asleep, though," he giggled. I smiled at his antics. "What did you find?"

"Literally nothing about me or you, which is just so disappointing. I did find a document on Josh, though," he told me excitedly. I was confused on how they could gather information on him when they haven't even met yet.

"He apparently has a fear of chainsaws. They find him really cocky and I found a newspaper clipping about some fire from about a decade ago," Kellin shrugged. I thought back to the newspapers I saw during our first night together. "What would that have to do with him?"

"Not sure," I said. "Is that it?"

"I found some guys' birth certificate," Kellin shared with an amused look on his face. "It was so weird. It was someone named Tyler that born back in 1987, why would they have an entire birth certificate just sitting in their drawer?"

"That's probably someone else they're studying. For whatever reason," I guessed.

"Mhm. That possibly can't be it, though. They definitely have a separate drawer somewhere in the house that has more."

"Probably shouldn't dwell on it, Kellin."

"I know..." He trailed off. "I just think it's interesting that there is someone out there so dedicated to researching other people, I kind of want to... never mind."

We looked back at the streets. There were still a decent amount of cars despite how late it was. It's surprising how much I've familiarized myself with this area of the city, it's going to feel so strange when I come back home. Seeing our 'parents' again. They must be so mad at me. I felt anxious just thinking about it.

"Did you sleep well?" Kellin asked. I nodded. "Is it because I was there next to you?" He added on smugly.

"Well, apparently you weren't since you were busy snooping."

"I swear it was only for about half an hour, I was snuggling with you most the time," Kellin promised, going to wrap his arms around me from behind and resting his head on my back. I put a hand on both of his.

"You're so short."

"I know you like it, though."

It was true. I did. I could feel his smile against my skin, although I couldn't see him. God, it felt so comforting to be with him. Being reassured that he really did still love me after all this time, you have no idea how much I yearned for his affection. It's been so long. Now things were back to the way I wanted it to be. I've cried too many times the past couple weeks.

"They're still looking for us," Kellin stated. I almost forgot that we weren't exactly free like we had planned.

"You'd think they would've given up by now," I assumed.

"And they haven't. I saw on a newspaper that someone thought they saw you. It was just some kid in a hoodie. Stupid," Kellin smiled to himself, amused.

It almost made me angry knowing that people were on the lookout for me. Hearing him share the news felt uncomfortable, it reminds me why Jo and Nico refused to let me go to places like the grocery store or a restaurant in case I get taken away by someone who recognized me. The past couple weeks has just been travelling around the city where there were little to no people. I can't live like this forever, can I?

"What do we even do about it? People are still going to be out searching for us until we're found."

"Or unless they find out we're dead," Kellin added. "Wait a second..."

I stopped him right there. "I already know what you're thinking-"

"We could fake our deaths."

"We are not going to fake our deaths."

"What other options do we have? Turn ourselves in? I'm not going back home."

Kellin detached himself from me so he could stand beside me again. "How do we even pull that off?" I asked.

"We'll figure it out."

"We always seem to figure things out in the end, don't we?"

"Mhm," he agreed. "So, if we just work together, we could conjure up a plan. Easy."

Sounded risky, though.

Kellin took my hand. "Let's go to bed," he urged. "I promise I'll be by your side the rest of the night. No snooping around," he assured as he dragged me back to our room.

Even if it'd be a risky task to fake our deaths, we didn't have many other options. If we had to do it, we'd have to do it in a believable way, but even more so, we'd have to do it safely.


	30. ♥30♥

We only stayed at the apartment for a couple hours before leaving. Kellin was latched onto me most the time, but seemed to be chatting with Nico whenever he wasn't. They seemed to get along well, which was good. I think?

Before we could get past the door to leave, Nico was rushing towards me. They were holding my spiked collar in their hand, the wallet chain was still hanging onto the silver circle in its center.

"Don't you want this?" They asked me. I shook my head 'no.'

"You can have it," I told them. I wore that thing every single day I stayed at their place, but after Kellin came back, something about keeping it felt awkward.

"It looks good on you."

"I'm sure it'd look good on you, too. I'll find a new one."

Nico looked down at the accessory in their hands joyfully. They smiled. "I hope you do."

Jo drove us home, and I was a bit scared the entire time. I didn't know how they'd react, but I had this feeling they'll be angry. Maybe they'll decide to completely disown me. Then again, Vic didn't seem too mad when he saw me.

I didn't know what I expected as I was dragging my feet along the steps back to the apartment I haven't entered in what felt like forever. Surprisingly, being in this area again was comforting.

"They missed you. I promise," Vic said with a light chuckle. He clearly thought my worries were ridiculous. Maybe they are, but I'm an anxious mess. He knew his boyfriends better than I did.

When we approached the door, I could already hear them conversating. They're loud people, anyways. I stood by, expecting Vic or Kellin to open the door for me, but they didn't.

"Don't you want to knock on the door yourself? So they'll see you first."

I swear he was testing me. Despite it, I knocked on the door without arguing. After a second of chatter, I heard footsteps and finally the door opened. Josh stood tall in front of me. He smirked.

"You 'lil shit."

"Um..."

"Get in here. We missed you," he said, putting his arm around me and leading me into the house. Everything looked the same as before. It made me smile to myself for a bit.

"Is that Oli- oh my gosh," Alex gasped when he saw me. Jack rushed towards me without hesitation, pulling me away from Josh and into his arms.

"Babe! Where've you been this entire time?" He asked. Before I could nervously come up with a lie, he interrupted me. "Actually, never mind. It doesn't even matter, I'm just happy to know you haven't been kidnapped... or worse."

"I'm fine, don't worry," I told him. He checked my face for any scars.

"Give him some space," Kellin intervened calmly. Jack backed away.

"Of course. I'm glad to see you guys reunited," he told us. I agreed, pulling Kellin closer to me.

"Nice to see that the family's back together – again," Josh put a hand on my shoulder for only a moment.

"You really should tell us about what you were doing over the past couple weeks," Alex said curiously.

"Oh, Alex. I already told you on the phone that I found him staying with my boss."

Wait, he did?

"What a nice guy," he responded. "Wasn't he, Oli?"

I looked around aimlessly, clearly avoiding eye contact. "Mhm."

"That's good. You should catch up on what we've done while you were gone too. Are you tired?"

"... No."

"Seemed like it, I was just going to suggest maybe going to the park. Or just hanging out outside the apartments. To talk, y'know?" He smiled.

Obviously, it was nice to be around everyone again, but I didn't want to leave the house. Despite that, everyone seemed on board with Alex's plan.

Off we went.

💀💀💀

We did end up at the park, the large one that was near the center of the city. It's beautiful outside, but it was too hot to have a shirt layered under another. I had to push through it.

Josh asked me about his choker and where it went. I just told him that I lost it, to which said that he was never going to give me another one. He noted an upside: it meant that no one would put a leash on it.

We were merely just sitting on the fountain, doing nothing but conversating, but the heat was enough to make me visibly sweat. Alex looked at me in concern. "Do you need to cool down?" He asked.

"Yeah, that'd be nice," I responded, like I wasn't actually desperate to get inside.

"Me too," he said. "Hey, guys. Me and Oli are going to the nearby diner cool off. We'll see you in a little bit."

The rest of the group let us go while Alex quickly urged me towards the direction of... whatever diner he had in mind. I thought he was going to have us go home, but I suppose not.

"You could just take off your undershirt," Alex told me.

"Huh? Oh, uh, you mean right here? Right now?" I asked, stumbling on my words. He shrugged. "Sure. No one will mind, I think."

I took my arms out of the long-sleeve and struggled for a bit before pulling it off myself, putting my arms through the short sleeves of my t-shirt instead. Alex was giggling at me. "I looked stupid doing that, did I?"

"A little bit," he responded playfully. I felt a lot better, tying the shirt around my waist as we kept walking. Alex looked over at me, eyes darting at the shirt I wore. "I love that band."

I looked down at the shirt and realized that it was Jo's, although Nico seemed to steal it from him all the time. I didn't recognize what band it was, as it was just a logo without the name of it.

"Me too..." I told him.

"I was kidding, that's not a band."

"Oh," I responded quietly. Alex seemed to have this little gleam in his eye after embarrassing me. 

"You weren't at Vic's boss' house when you were gone, were you?" Alex questioned. He caught me off guard with that question, it almost made me trip on the concrete. I didn't know what to say.

"You were with them."

I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and had him look at me. "It was an accident, I swear. I just kind of found them in an-"

"Relax. I don't really care. I get why Vic was trying to cover for you, though. He probably thinks I don't know they're still friends – man... we need to have a long talk together," Alex mumbled to himself, taking my arm and urging me to keep walking. I wasn't sure if we even had a destination to go to at this point.

"A long talk?"

"We have a lot of unfinished business," he gulped down. I remembered an idea I suggested when I first met them.

"Nico told me that Jack and Jo had the same birthday... I said something about them sharing a birthday party."

"No way, man. Especially those two, I don't think they'd get along even though they swear they would," Alex responded, shooting down the suggestion. "Well... I'll ask about it at least."

I could just tell he loved the idea. If it did end up working out, I hope it'd turn out well. They may hate each other, but they're similar people. I just wanted my friends to get along.

We found ourselves a little diner eventually, and while being without multiple layers helped me cool down, it was much better to have some air conditioning. We stood in the waiting room, enjoying ourselves. It took me a moment to realize that I actually never have been alone with Alex. I'm closer with the others than him.

"So..." I began, trying to start some small talk. "Uh..."

My brain decided to shut down before I could even finish my sentence.

"I been meaning to spend time with you for a while," Alex confessed.

"Really? You... care?" I responded without much thought, I hoped it didn't come off badly.

"Yeah, of course? We live together, or at least we do now," he told me, amused.

Remembering that we were going to live together again made me happier than I thought it would. "I'm sorry for running off like that."

"You and your running away. Quit that, it's getting old," Alex giggled. "All because your boyfriend didn't want to have sex with you, huh?"

"It was more than that, I mean, he made it seem like he didn't love me at all and I got scared-"

"I get it. Kellin really regrets that. Aw, you should've seen him. He kept overthinking everything and crying..."

I gulped down, feeling awful about what I've put him through. If only I just knew the truth earlier, that he didn't fall out of love with me or something. Just the thought of Kellin crying hurts.

"Don't feel bad about it, you didn't know how to deal with the situation, and he didn't either. He forgives you, right?" Alex asked, patting my back. I nodded my head.

"Well, that's good enough. Talk things through a little better, now," Alex suggested.

All this talk about my boyfriend made me want to go hug him again. "We should head back."

Alex agreed and went back to the park, talking more about what everyone was doing when I was gone. He mentioned that Kellin was apparently co-dependent on him and his boyfriends (plus Josh, but he's basically his boyfriend as well, anyway.) I guess he needed a lot of comfort.

We got back to the park where I saw Kellin away from the group, casually gazing at the flower bushes. I rushed up to him and surprise hugged him, which he happily responded to by hugging me tighter.

"I found a really pretty pond nearby, follow me, I'm sure you'll love to see it," he said, taking my hand and pulling me with him without letting me respond.

Kellin always did have good taste in scenery, and the pond was no exception. The sunlight reflected on the water, making it sparkle. It was surrounded by flowers and greenery, cute ducks swam in it in delight.

"We should try drowning," he told me far too casually.

"We should what now?"

"To fake our deaths! We'll make the police recognize us, then we'll jump into a body of water right in front of them, then they won't be able to see us come out. They'll think we died," he gleamed. I was impressed, thinking it was a good plan.

"Wait, how will we get out of the water, though?" I questioned. I didn't even know how to swim, either. I don't even think Kellin does.

"Huh. I guess I didn't think about that one... I'll come up with a different plan."

"Maybe something with fire..." I suggested. It wouldn't be something out of the ordinary in this city.

"That's way more dangerous, but I'll think about it."

"Nothing wrong with a bit of danger."

"Nothing at all," Kellin smiled, scooting closer to me in the grass and resting his head on me. It was good to be back home, with him and with the people I felt safe with.

I could only hope it'll last long. 


	31. ♥hot mess♥

The birthday party idea _did_ work. I'll be heading back to Nico's apartment sooner that I thought I would, but this time with Alex, Jack, Josh, Vic, and Kellin.

Alex told Jack the idea on our way back home from the park, to which he said that he'd love to without skipping a beat. Everyone thought he was just being sarcastic, but he insisted that he was being honest. Vic went to ask Jo about it on the phone, and he was on board with the idea as well. Something about it all seemed suspicious, but we were going through with the plan.

When I envisioned the kind of birthday party Jack would want, I thought he'd want a big party of nearly a hundred people with lights flashing everywhere and music blasting, but turns out he was just fine with an intimate one with just the eight of us. Apparently, Jo's boyfriend was going to show up as well. Plenty more company.

They asked me and Kellin if we would rather go out on a night by ourselves, but we both insisted that we'll be fine at the party. Although I did consider the fact that this is probably a night for the six to talk things through, I didn't mind being there. We won't be going to a bar this time, so there will be no strangers giving me and my boyfriend strange drinks.

Our part in the birthday party was to bring our own food, like sandwiches and chips. We originally planned to make them ourselves, but we ended up just ordering a batch from a local restaurant and buying the rest of the snacks from the store.

We didn't have the get-together until 7PM, so before we visited, Jack was surprised by a few of his friends with cupcakes, balloons, and a bottle of vodka. They gave him a card saying 'one more year until you can buy your own alcohol instead of having to ask us.' It was written with love, surely.

After we put the food in large paper bags and had on our cute little outfits, prepared to leave, Vics phone began to ring.

"It's Nico."

"I knew you were friends, but I didn't think you'd straight up have their number already," Josh commented. Vic rolled his eyes.

"If I didn't, we wouldn't have been able to plan this whole thing," he defended, accepting the call and putting the phone to his ear.

"Hiii... aw that's really sweet, really?... I hope he does, I thought I told him I apologized... yeah, you better... okay, see you there."

Vic hung up the phone and put it back into his pocket. "What did they say?" I asked.

"Jo just feels a little nervous about the whole thing since he's never actually hung out with any of us. Also, he had a little party with his co-workers at his job earlier, so that's nice."

"Are those his only friends? His coworkers?" Jack scoffed.

"Hey, that's not a very nice thing to say to someone you're sharing a birthday party with, Jack," Vic responded condescendingly. "He's allowed to be close friends with his coworkers. Don't all of yours... kind of... hate you?"

Dang.

"Let's go," Jack replied with unaffected calmness.

It wasn't a long drive since they lived surprisingly close to us. They already had their own cake and drinks prepared themselves, so we just had to show up with our food and figure out how we won't get into one big cat fight. Or more so, they'll figure that out.

"I'm definitely going to ruin his entire party," Jack announced in the car.

"If you just contain yourself and make casual conversation, I'm sure you'll do fine," Alex responded nervously. Everyone could already tell this might end up being a wreck.

"No, like, I want to ruin his entire party."

"Jack, no!"

"That was the plan all along, wasn't it?"

"The plan was to have an actual conversation and get to know each other for once, right?" Josh questioned.

"Exactly, so let's try not to kill anyone. Please. I don't want any more charges," Alex said.

Jack smirked to himself and laid back, saying nothing. I had Kellin sitting on my lap since there were no other seats, he leaned into my ear and whispered.

"If anything bad starts happening, we'll just leave the building."

"Definitely."

Nico opened the door for us when we entered, the apartment looked the same as I remembered it, except for the well decorated cake on the counter and gift bags, no doubt from Jo's earlier party. He was standing behind the kitchen counter and grabbed the bags when he saw us enter.

"Oh, sorry. I should've put these back in my room, hold on," he stumbled on his own words, grabbing his gifts and putting it in his bedroom.

"Seems like a nice lad," Josh commented.

"He said one sentence," Jack brushed off, letting Nico close the door behind us. I don't know, I thought Jo was pretty nice except when he made fun of me for having no muscles or tattoos. I'll have both in no time, he won't see it coming.

Jo walked back out of his room, slowly closing the door behind himself. "What kind of presents did you get, Dun?"

"Just say my name," he mumbled. "Art supplies, clothes, more succulents, even though I already have about twenty around the house... how about you, Jack?"

"Alcohol," he answered bluntly.

"Nice. I have plenty if you want some, it's a little early though, isn't it?"

"Jaime got it for you, I'm guessing."

"Mhm, but a few others, too," he said. "You all can get comfortable, this is supposed to be a laid-back night."

"Exactly. Just talking and getting to know each other," Alex turned over to Jack. "Just like I said."

"My boyfriend should be here soon, too, so... you'll get to know him as well," Jo informed before taking a deep breath, walking up to me and Kellin. "Just hang out wherever you want, I don't want you to subject you to our... problems."

"Even in your room?" Kellin whispered back.

"Go ahead. Don't try to do anything in there – wait, no, you won't. Just don't break anything or snoop around. Too much, at least."

Jo walked away from us to make more small talk with the rest of the group. These people trust the two of us too much, even though I know we aren't destructive, I still worry.

Kellin and I went into his room and I took one more look at the group before closing the door behind myself. Surprisingly, Jo was a bit messier than his roommate. He had a table covered in papers and colored pencils with an undone bed that had books and binders on it, but he at least managed to keep his floor clean.

He had a large corkboard with artwork and photographs on it. I walked up to it and looked at a photo of Jo and Jaime together. Jaime had his arm around Jo while they both smiled contently, standing in front of a railing with an ocean behind them. It looked like a cruise ship. Written below it was _6/18/04._

"It's so cozy in here," Kellin commented, fixing up the bed a little.

"Mhm," I murmured, taking the photo off the corkboard and turning it over. _Tree Hollow, 4100._ It might be Jaime's address, but it didn't really concern me. I put the photo back right where it was.

Kellin managed to sneak behind me when I wasn't paying attention, causing me to gasp when I caught sight of him inches away from me. "You have a fragile little heart."

"I don't..." I told him. He smiled at me and took a photo off the corkboard. It was a picture of Jo's boyfriend, it was kind of interesting to see his face since we barely caught of a glimpse of it when we saw him in person. He had dark brown hair and eyes along with thick eyebrows and a cunning smile. Something was off about him.

"He's cute," Kellin giggled. Wow.

"You don't say that kind of stuff about other people's boyfriends, babe," I took the photo from his hands and put it back. He was amused at me, of course he was.

"I was kidding, I don't think he's cute. Not cuter than you," he laughed, pinching my cheek.

"No one's cuter than me," I scoffed.

"Cocky. You're not wrong," he said, kissing my jaw. "Plus, isn't Jo's boyfriend like... in his late twenties? Way too old for me."

"Not too old for him, I guess," I assumed. I'm pretty sure they started dating when Jo was around seventeen, that guy had a slightly questionable taste in men.

We spent a little bit of time brainstorming ideas for our plan, but when we weren't, we were relaxing around the room, admiring the artwork and photography on the walls. No real snooping this time, because what would Jo have to hide? He seemed like a pretty open guy.

I saw Kellin put an ear against the door to listen in on what everyone in the living room were talking about.

"Kels, why are you trying to liste-"

"Shh. C'mere next to me."

I walked over beside him to listen as well. The conversation was at a regular level and there weren't any catfights, just the group getting along like everyone hoped. Who would've thought?

"Alex just said he thinks housing us is dangerous," Kellin whispered spitefully.

"What does he m-"

"Shh."

I stayed silent and listened closer.

"It shouldn't even matter, it's been almost two months and we've kept them and ourselves safe. I think we're good." It was Josh talking.

"Yeah, I've been living with Nico for a literal years and nobody is suspicious of us," Jo said.

"I think our situation is a bit different because I'm pretty sure the government thinks I'm dead."

"I wish that was me," Josh responded to them. There was a chorus of laughter for a moment.

Kellin walked away from the door after I did, too. "Do you really think we're putting them in danger?" He asked me. 

I wanted to say no, but actually, I just wasn't sure. "Nothings happened so far."

"Yeah, let's not worry about it."

A few minutes later, Kellin and I were sitting on the wooden floor against the bed when the door creaked open, revealing Jack standing tall. "Hey girls... can I come in?"

I nodded, allowing Jack to close the door and sit on the floor right in front of us. "Talking about... stuff?" He asked quietly.

"I was just going to ask Oli what color I should dye my hair... since the green is fading away."

"Just keep it green, it brings out your eyes," Jack suggested.

"You think so, Oli?" Kellin asked me. I gave him a little 'mhm.'

"But one day you should try red. Maybe dye the entire thing red instead of just the bangs," I told him. I thought it'd look really cute, I didn't have an eye for what looked best on people like Jack did.

"I like that idea," Jack smiled. His resting face was so intimidating, but the intimidation evaporates the moment he smiles. He's being suspiciously lowkey, when he's usually at his most at every waking moment.

"I feel like you're avoiding something," I told him. Jack sighed.

"Obviously. Jo is really nice. So is Nico. I think I had this awful idea of them in my head and thought they were entirely different people, I dunno."

"You really have to actually talk to someone to really get to know who they are," I told him.

"I guess so. Wanna join the rest of the group?"

The alone time was nice, but Kellin and I agreed. We walked out of the room right when there was a knock on the front door.

"Oh, it's probably my boyfriend! Let me get it," Jo said and went to open the door. I saw him standing there with his leather jacket, whispering something to Jo. He looked at us and stepped outside and closed the door with his boyfriend.

Everything seemed perfectly fine until there was sudden muffled yelling behind the door. The shouting only got louder and more intense after a few seconds.

"Jesus christ..." Jack mumbled to himself.

The yelling finally stopped for a moment and Jo walked back inside the house with a straight face. "I broke up with him."

"Like, right now?"

"Just now. Get out the shots."

Jo didn't even bother taking a moment to mourn the loss of his relationship and went straight to the cabinet to get out the drinks, the rest of the group were happily doing the same. Kellin and I didn't, of course. We were staying away from that stuff after what happened last time we were intoxicated.

We both still watched, from distance, of course, since I didn't want to smell that stuff. "You sure you don't want any? This one is kiwi. Tastes really nice," Jo asked us. We did not take up the offer.

Nobody wanted to get black out wasted, thankfully, since that'd mean there'd be no way to drive home. Unless everyone just passed out in this apartment. Kellin and I just stuck with apple juice, but our vaguely drunk friends were still pretty fun to hang out with.

After a while, we were setting up the candles on the birthday cake. Nico was stumbling with the lighter a worrying amount, so I just decided to do it for them.

I turned the lights off while Jo and Jack stood on opposite sides of the counter. We sang happy birthday to them, which made me learn that everyone in the room had quite beautiful singing voices. The two birthday boys were staring into each other's eyes, unable to keep a straight face before blowing out the candles together.

We turned on some music and grabbed our plates, but turns out Jo and Jack had a different idea for themselves.

Pretty interesting how everyone expected them to avoid each other the entire night, only for Jack to end up eating a piece of cake off Jo's body. Really. Jo was laying shirtless on the couch while a piece of the birthday cake sat on his chest. Jack was eating it with a fork. It was very awkward to watch, so I turned away. Nobody else had a problem with watching them.

Even Kellin was smiling at their affection.

"You're gonna get crumbs all over the floor," Nico said.

"Worth it," Jo chuckled as lightly as he could. I turned to look again for a second to see Jack licking frosting right off his chest. I looked away again.

"You're acting like this is pornography, Oli," Vic told me.

"It basically is, I can't witness something like that," I responded sarcastically. Vic laughed.

"I haven't gotten a piece yet by the way, can you get me a plate?" he asked.

"Can't you get it yourself?"

"Uh, _well,_ the shelf is too high for me," he smirked.

I sighed before getting up from my seat and looking up at the top cabinet where the plates were. Vic clearly could have been able to reach it.

"It's literally not even that high," I knit my eyebrows at him.

"Well, my dainty little hands can't hold a heavy plate," Vic slurred on his words a tad bit, but he wasn't on the same level of drunk as he was when he left Ash's bar that night.

"Just get it yourself."

"No, actually, I think I'll just use Josh as a plate," he smiled. I change my mind, I might as well get him his plate. I took one out of the cabinet and handed it over to him.

"Do you always make people do stuff for you like this?" I groaned. This guy is way different when he's intoxicated.

"It's how I got Alex and Jack to fall in love with me," he giggled and looked over at Alex, who was sitting on the coffee table, watching Jo and Jack. "Those cuties... Aw."

"How'd you get Josh to fall in love with you?" I asked, curiously.

"I dunno. Exist, I guess. He's cute. I'm cute. Our other boyfriends are cute... it all works," He rocked back and forth joyfully to himself. "Why am I holding this?"

"Your plate? You asked me to get it for you?"

"I don't even want any cake," he said, putting it on the counter instead of the cabinet where I got it from. Then, he proceeded to walk off to sit next to Alex.

What?

Kellin was apparently watching the entire scene, and he was laughing right at me. I turned a little red in the face and put the plate where it belonged. Afterwards, I sat next to Kellin.

"I'm uncomfortable," I admitted to Kellin. He laughed again for a moment.

"We'll be back home soon. I already know who's not driving."

It took until 2AM for us to part ways with Jo and Nico, but I admit it was fun enjoying ourselves as a group and seeing everyone get along much better than we thought they would. I could tell that this wasn't going to be the last time we group up together.

Alex was the one driving, and Kellin was sitting on my lap as per usual. I was surprised that we didn't end up falling asleep at their apartment.

"Wasn't that a nice party, Jack?" He asked happily, we were over the moon that it went well.

"Ugh, yes. I think I fell in love tonight," Jack slurred on his words. "Do you think we should have a fifth?"

"No." 


	32. ♥32♥

It's been a few nights since the birthday party, who knew one party could relieve so much tension? Everyone seemed to be friendly with each other, maybe in one case a bit too friendly, but it's better than rivalry.

Kellin and I decided to have a night to ourselves. Everyone else in the apartment was asleep, which meant it was the perfect time to sneak out.

We specifically told them that we were sleeping in the living room by ourselves that night, which alone would already cause them to suspect we were plotting something together just by that statement. We have actually been sleeping in the same bed as them since we started to.

I'm sure they don't mind the two of us sneaking out at night. They know we're our own people and don't need to have rules enforced on us, plus, its just the two of us hanging out. We weren't even going to take the car, we were just going on a walk in the city.

It was almost 12AM, and the stars were brighter than ever tonight. The sky was bare of any clouds, as well. It'd be a missed opportunity for us to stay inside.

We didn't bring anything with us when we left the building. The both of us just made sure not get too far from the apartment so we don't get lost, but even if we did, I think we could still find a way back.

It was active in the city despite it being late, so I could still hear the noisiness of the cars. That was one thing that took a little while to get used to again when we came here, even though it was just like this when I was much younger. I changed something that irritated me into a good thing, it reminded me of childhood and comforted me.

Kellin didn't like it as much, though. We were going to travel somewhere less populated for more quiet and privacy. This reminds me of the night I ran off after I thought Kellin was breaking up with me. I ran so far away, I made it to the abandoned part of town. I was so lonely and broken that night. It doesn't matter now, I had Kellin right by my side. Everything fell into place eventually.

I think we'll go to the exact same part of town I found myself in. It'd be best to make better memories there.

Most of the walk was silent, taking in the sights of the city hand-in-hand. The laughter and smiles of those around us was healing. The bright lights of bar signs and traffic lights were beautiful, I could see the colors shine on Kellin's dark hair and brighten his eyes. It was so simple, but it made me so happy. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Look at me, getting all sappy over his existence for the millionth time.

As we continued to travel, the amount of people and cars around us started to lessen. I recognized the area we were in, and I knew right around the corner was the bridge we found a little while ago. I took Kellin's hand and forced him in that direction.

"Ow, Oli, my arm!"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to, I just wanted to visit the bridge again with you."

We started running together towards the bridge while holding each other's hands, dashing past any remaining people on the streets. Neither of us had visited the bridge in so long, I had forgotten how beautiful it looked with its well-made design and bright lights that lined it.

The bridge was empty, but it was also mostly bare of people the last time we were here as well. I could hear the waves crash against the pillars that held the structure up as we walked. From a distance, I could see smoke blowing in the air.

It was peculiar, there wasn't anything on here that would produce any smoke.

Kellin noticed it, too. He looked up at it, and we both knew we had to investigate together without saying a word. We walked over to it, and wouldn't you know, the main source of fire all around town was sitting on a thick steel bar eight feet above the ground. There was no fire, just the lit joint in their hand.

"How'd you even get up there?" Kellin asked as a greeting. Nico looked down at us and smiled.

"I'm a good climber, I have had a lot of practice finding a way up and a way down," they took a deep inhale of the drug. "Having a night out, girls?"

"Mhm!"

"It's a nice night outside right now. Don't be out too long, though, it's supposed to rain in a couple hours."

"I think we can handle that," Kellin said confidently. He really had no worries about getting sick in the rain, it's unbelievable.

"I'm sure you can. Maybe the forecast is wrong, though. I heard the new news reporters aren't as good as the last."

I was about to say something, but they changed the subject before I could. "It was really nice hanging out with you guys the other day."

"Mhm. Was Josh nice? I know it was your first time meeting him," I asked.

"Really sweet, a little more than I expected him to be. Jo and Jack were getting along well."

"That was..."

"Interesting. I knew they'd fit well together," they took yet another drag and blew the smoke upwards into the air. Nico gracefully jumped onto the ground right in front of us. The lit end of their joint came a little too close to us. "Almost accidently burned your neck there, Kellin. Sorry." 

"It's fine."

"You two can run along now, I'll be on my way home. Enjoy your night, don't set anything on fire without me."

We laughed lightly at their joke before they started to go the other direction on their way home. I was just about to move forward, but Kellin looked behind himself and called out Nico's name.

"Kellin..."

"I need to ask something," he whispered back to me, making his way towards Nico. They turned around and looked at him kindly. "I overheard you say something while we were in Jo's room. You said you believe the government thinks you're dead."

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell me why?"

I knew Kellin was trying to find inspiration for our plan, but I feel like Nico's story is probably going to end up being something outrageous that we couldn't possibly attempt.

"I burned down my rehab center," they responded with a straight face.

The single sentence they dropped was so shocking, neither of us knew what to say about it. Nico began to laugh at us. "A little too vague?"

"Way too vague, I need to know more," Kellin urged. Nico waved me over closer to them so I could hear their story, they cleared their throat.

"It was when I was fourteen, almost fifteen. I was there for a couple years," they began. "They tried to keep all lighters and all ways to produce flame away from me since they thought it was a problem – ugh. Didn't work out for them. I put a branch from the little plant in my room into a broken wire in an electrical outlet..."

Nico sighed to themselves, remembering the rest of the story. "I got a little scared and dropped it on the floor, so it set the carpet on fire and it began to spread. Instead of doing anything to put it out, I ran as far as I could while it just got worse.

I found an exit and escaped from the building, I got pretty far from it. I watched the fire I started from far away for a little bit before running off even further."

Kellin and I looked at each other, processing the actions of the person in front of us. Turns out, we didn't let the things they had done sink in enough. "Did everyone make it out safe?"

"Yeah. I read later on a newspaper that everyone in the building was fine, even though some were injured. I was listed as the only one dead," Nico giggled. "They didn't see me escape the building, but since they couldn't find my body, I must have died, huh? So, therefore, I'm pretty sure everyone I had ever known then including the government thinks I'm dead."

"So, no one ever found you?"

"No. I was put in a lot of different rehab centers after people complaining about my antics, but that was the last one. Any other questions?"

We both stood silently. "No."

"Alright, not sure why you were curious about that, though. Why don't you go pester Alex about his backstory instead? He's got a good one," they smiled. "Goodnight."

"Night," I responded, watching them walk off for a few moments.

"Let's find a rooftop or something and talk about... that whole thing," Kellin whispered quietly to me. We enjoyed the walk on the rest of the bridge and made it to the other side quickly, exploring alleyways for a moment until we found a staircase to the roof of a building.

I could see from the roof that on this side of the bridge was a regular town. No skyscrapers or multistory apartment buildings. If I looked a bit closer, I could see a suburban neighborhood. It was rather pretty.

The specific structure we were on was one of the tallest. We still had a clear view of the lake and the lit up city. What a stunning view, it almost makes me wish I brought a camera.

"It'd be a good plan," Kellin said. "We could have people, maybe the police witness us run into a burning building, and we'll find a way to escape it without them seeing. They'll think we died."

"It sounds so dangerous, though."

"I know. That's why I been wondering if we should do this at all. We'll risk our lives."

We were sitting on the edge, our legs dangled down from the roof. I scooted closer to him and put my arm around him. "We're safe right now, do you think we could get by just from sneaking around?"

"Mhm. Our roommates are safe, too. We'll only go through a plan like that unless we absolutely have to."

"Good, 'cause honestly, the whole idea sort of terrified me."

"Aww," Kellin cooed. "You pussy."

" _Wow,_ " I gasped. "You know I got called that enough at school."

"I was kidding! Me too. Good thing you avoided that because you were literally gone the last five days."

"Doesn't matter, I had great grades anyway."

"You got a D in history."

"I got great grades in everything except history."

Kellin snorted. "I almost failed history too. I fell asleep in that class basically every fuckin' day."

"Same, every time I was in that class all I wanted to do was go home and watch anime or something."

He put his hand to his chin. "Hmm. That's a weird way to say _'masturbating,'_ "

"Kellin, no!"

"I mean, I'm not judging you."

I sat silently for a moment, unsure of what to say. After everything I've learned, I wouldn't think he'd really want to talk about this topic.

"Honestly, I do it a lot," Kellin said.

"You _what?_ "

He giggled and covered his mouth. "Like, masturbate. In the shower or when no ones home, I never told anyone this 'cause I feel like you all would be weird about it."

"I, uh, I'm kind of confused?" I stuttered. I, um, I don't know how he'd want to do that stuff with himself if he didn't want to with me. I didn't understand a single bit of this whole thing with him, even though I was trying to.

"I dunno, I'm fine pleasuring myself but even the thought of doing things with other people is uncomfortable... and awkward. It just doesn't do anything for me," he explained.

"You know, you should've told me-"

"I should've, but I didn't know. I thought if I just tried it, then it'd be fine and suddenly I'd like it. It's not your fault. Really it isn't," Kellin scooted closer to me and wrapped his arms around me affectionately.

"And I'm really sorry about when I said I didn't like you like that. I shouldn't have said that, I thought if I didn't see you sexually then it must not mean I like you at all. I know now that it's not the case. I love you."

I gulped down and wiped a tear from my eye, I already knew all that, but it felt overwhelming for him to say all that to me to my face. Kellin pushed away another tear that flowed down my cheek and moved my head towards him to kiss me. "I forgive you, y'know. I know this must've been really hard to figure out."

"God, it was. If only I knew sooner. So much could've been prevented."

"You know now," I told him. "I'm sorry for not listening to everything you had to say before running away from you."

"My feelings would've probably been hard to explain without the word, anyways. Asexual," he responded. He said that word so fondly. "I promise you, in every way besides sexual, I like you. Love you, in fact."

"I love you too. So much," I told him tenderly, taking his hand. "We need to start saying that more."

"Let's shoot for every single morning," he said. I smiled to myself. I'd love to wake up to those three words every single morning.

"I have a question," I said.

"Mhm?"

"Am I, like, still hot? Like, this isn't all because I'm ugly, right?"

"Oh my god, Oli. No way," Kellin was very clearly laughing at me. I probably deserve it, that was a stupid question. "You're the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life. Gorgeous."

He turned my face towards him to take a good look at me. I was looking right at him too as I heard thunder roar from a distance, but I ignored it. Even during the night, you could still tell that he was just _beautiful._

Kellin entangled his hands in my hair and pulled me into a long and gentle kiss. I felt raindrops fall atop our heads, wetting our hair, clothes, and skin. I pulled away from him and gave him one more peck on the cheek. "We should probably head home."

"Yeah, wouldn't want me getting a cold, right?" He said teasingly. The both of us stood up and walked down the steps, making our way back to the bridge. I'd like to explore this side of the bridge more one day, but only when it's not storming.

The rain started to get heavier, there was no doubt we'd end up soaked by the time we get home, but it'll be a peaceful walk. I like the sounds of rain and thunder.

We were close to the bridge, but halted at the sight of police cars driving onto it, slowing down and parking in the middle of the road.

"What are they doing here?" Kellin questioned.

"I don't know..."

We both backed away when they started exiting the car and ordered us not to move.

Two policemen walked closer to us until they were only a couple feet away. I gulped down. "There was a sighting of someone that matched the description of the arsonist on the bridge here. Have you seen her?"

"No," Kellin responded sternly.

"Well, the witness said that the arsonist was speaking to two male teens. Was it not you two?"

"We didn't know that could've been the arsonist." I told them. We couldn't just say 'no.' It'd be obvious that we were lying.

"Do you know where she could've gone?"

I felt uncomfortable hearing the police say 'she.' I couldn't correct them, though. They'd know that we know them personally. "That way. But they didn't say exactly where they went," I responded, pointing behind them. The policemen looked behind themselves, and then back at us.

"Thank you for your time," he said, giving us a toothless grin. "Are you two dating?"

I wasn't sure if I should answer at first, I didn't know what kind of response we'd get if I did so honestly.

"Yeah... why?" Kellin asked, he had no real fear of these two men.

"That's interesting, because in the interviews with your parents, they said you were just friends." 

Shit. He knew. They both knew we were the missing teens. What were we supposed to do now? I started to panic in my mind, I had to come up with a lie, and quick.

Kellin kneed the police officer in the groin and grabbed my hand, dashing into the alley. "Kellin!" 

"Just keep running, I'm not letting them catch us!"

I looked behind myself and saw both the officers chasing us, and they were gaining on us quickly. The rain was pouring hard on our heads, making the ground slippery and difficult for us to see.

I stumbled on my own feet and fell onto the concrete, only to be pulled up by Kellin as fast as he could. The officers were closer to us now because of my mistake.

We turned corners in hopes that they would lose us in the maze until we got to the main town. There were lit-up gas stations and fast-food places still open during the late hours.

"I think we lost them," Kellin told me. "We should still keep going."

The both of us kept running, filled with adrenaline, constantly worrying that the two policemen would catch up with us at any moment although we couldn't spot them anywhere. After this, how would we even make it back home? It wouldn't be safe to go through the same route.

We sheltered ourselves under a tree in a neighborhood. The houses were decently sized, and the atmosphere was rather cozy. There was a good amount of greenery and plants around us.

Kellin looked around us. "I don't think they can tell we're here. Where do we go now?"

I caught my breath and looked at the letters engraved in the large stone that was right next to the entry.

 _Tree Hollow._ What a fitting name. It sounded familiar.

I had this sudden realization that I have heard of this neighborhood before. I remembered house number _4100._ I think I knew where to shelter ourselves, it's worth a shot, at least.

"Follow me," I told Kellin. I started walking through the neighborhood as the rain started to pour harder on us, our hair and clothes were soaking wet by now.

We made it to house 4100 and I quickly ran to the door with him, desperate for shelter from the rain. The door opened fast, revealing Jaime in pajama pants.

"Oli?" He knit his eyebrows and looked beside me. "Kellin? What happened to you guys?

"We were running from the cops," I told him. He chuckled. "Get in here."

We gratefully welcomed ourselves inside his house, getting away from all that rain. "I'll get you kids some towels."

Jaime rushed to get us both two large fluffy towels, which we both rubbed in our hair and clothes. It felt a lot more comfortable to be a little drier.

"Sit down," he told us.

"We'll get the furniture wet."

"Doesn't matter to me."

Kellin and I reluctantly sat down on the couch while Jaime sat in the recliner beside it. "What's the whole story?"


	33. ♥33♥

**(3rd POV)**

Who the fuck rings the doorbell to someone's house in the middle of the night?

In the midst of a comfortable, relaxing sleep, the four was awoken by the sound of the doorbell ringing. Whoever was pressing it was clearly impatient, hitting it every few seconds.

"Someone get that," Vic groaned.

"Won't be me," Josh whispered back.

"Me neither," Alex said. Jack just stayed silent, smiling to himself.

"Ok, fine," Vic sighed, getting up from the bed. "Make sure you check through the peephole, only creeps visit someone's house this late at night."

Vic agreed with Josh, walking through the door in only his underwear and a t-shirt with caution. He looked around the room and saw no sight of Kellin or Oli, and he felt a nervous chill down his spine.

Hopefully the person at the door was either of them, they could have just decided to hang out outside. But then again, they would've brought the key to the house with them. Maybe they forgot?

He walked up to the door and looked into the peephole, seeing two police officers standing there, conversating with each other. One was laughing at something the other said.

Vic started to panic, then remembered that he left all his weed in the car. He smoothed down his hair and prayed that they won't ask to check it, then he opened door.

"Hello?" He greeted, speaking sternly. He's surely practiced it plenty of times before.

"Hello, Mr. Fuentes. We found some... _disturbing_ evidence linking to you."

"Disturbing? Like what, sir?" Vic bit down on his bottom lip, cringing silently to himself at how he had to called him 'sir.'

"You've heard of the disappearance of the two teenagers recently, haven't you? Oliver Sykes and Kellin Bostwick?"

"...Yes," he murmured quietly. He's so fucked.

"The public school has stated on their records that they were both enrolled, and under your name."

"That could've been anyone with the last name Fuentes," he told them. The taller one laughed in his face. Vic felt his heart beat faster in anxiety, he didn't know how this whole situation could end. But he doesn't look like a threat, does he? Both the officers were almost a foot taller than him.

"The counselor was shown photos of you, and she said that you look exactly like the person who enrolled them."

"Could just be bad memory."

"We aren't going to play this game with you, Mr. Fuentes," the officer said sternly, putting a hand on his gun holster. Vic's palms got sweaty. "We're going to search the apartment for further evidence of their presence here."

"Don't you need a w-"

Neither of the officers listened before shoving past him and entering his apartment. Vic didn't argue against them, gently closing the door behind both of them and following the two as they looked around the living room.

The bedroom door slowly creaked open, and out stepped Alex, Josh, and Jack.

"Hello there," an officer greeted kindly. Josh stepped up, as if protecting the rest of his boyfriends. "Hello there, what's going on?"

He explained the situation, which made Josh knit his eyebrows. "They don't live here."

"Mr. Fuentes enrolled them both into school. You are connected to them somehow."

Josh didn't say anything except 'oh fuck,' under his breath.

The four watched the officers search around. They knew they had nothing to hide in the house except Kellin and Oli, and apparently, neither were present. They had questions appearing in their heads, but they said nothing. Then the cops would definitely know they were there.

"Are you all roommates?" An officer asked, trying to make conversation.

"Yes," Jack replied expressionlessly. He added nothing to the statement, hoping all communication would end there.

"Interesting. You know, having more than one roommate is illegal in this city unless you are all the same sex."

"Why is that?" Alex asked.

"You know, to avoid non-monogamous people in relationships from living together."

"That's... good to know."

Good thing they were all men, because then there would be no possible way they could be romantically inclined.

Jack almost made an angry argument against how unfair and discriminative that is, but now wasn't the time to get aggressive. He clenched his fist to internalize his anger. The four looked each other knowingly.

It felt like the search was taking forever, and it was clear that both the officers were going slowly with the investigation on purpose, even though there was no need to.

One officer took out a notebook from under one of the pillows, which made the four boyfriends extremely nervous. It was Oli's notebook, they didn't know what was written in it, but it could be more than enough evidence that they were living here.

"How cute," the officer said to himself, showing off the cover which had sparkly stickers of anime and Hello Kitty characters on it. "Who's is this?"

"Um, mine," Alex told him. He looked through the notebook and showed off the first page. It had Oli's name written in glitter glue.

"Huh. That's wild. I don't know how that got there," Alex chuckled awkwardly, which led to him getting elbowed in the shoulder by Jack.

He said nothing and flipped through a few more pages. "It'd be very suspicious if this was your notebook, considering some of the contents written in here."

"Like what?" Alex asked.

"Hmm. This little paragraph right here," The officer walked up to him and showed off the page.

"That's not-"

"It reads: _Kellin, I'm so in love with you. Everything about you is absolutely perfect, you're my soulmate and-_ "

"That literally is not-"

" _-my one and only. I love your smile, your bubbly personality, your beautiful eyes, your body –_ oh, this is priceless. You do understand that Kellin is sixteen, don't you? I believe I read in your files that you were twenty years old."

"That's not mine, you dick!" Alex slammed the notebook out of the officer's hands, and it fell onto the ground with a thud. He was furious at the untrue accusations and was practically steaming. Everyone in the room gasped.

Alex didn't even bother thinking about the possible consequences of his actions. The cop just kept pushing it, even though it was already clear that it wasn't even his the moment he saw Oli's name right on the first page.

"That wasn't very respectful, Mr. Gaskarth."

Shit, they might as well arrest him right now considering all of his past choices in careers.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disrespect you," Alex apologized, but made no eye contact. He wasn't sorry, but he was just wanted to cool down the situation as much as he could.

"Your files had a few documented crimes involving drug possession and shop-lifting. You never did strike me as someone who cared about being respectful."

"I was a stupid teenager. I've already served my punishment, it doesn't have to be brought up," he responded, crossing his arms.

"Pick up the notebook and give it over to me," the officer ordered. Alex was burning from within, the guy might be taller than him, but it wouldn't be hard to knee him in the groin.

He knelt down in picked up the notebook, handing it over like he said. He swore that he was only making him do it to piss him off further.

Both the officers continued the investigation, searching a bit too thoroughly in the office, living room, and kitchen. They didn't find anything more than the notebook.

"May we search the bedroom?" One asked Vic. He didn't understand why he was asking, since he barged into the house and might as well barge into the bedroom as well. "No, I'm sorry, it's... a very private area."

He could tell he wanted to press him even harder, but he decided not to put in that effort. "Well, I think we have everything we need, anyways. Why do you have Oliver Sykes' notebook?"

"He just left it here," Josh said. "They were both here a little while ago, but we swear, they don't live here. We don't know where they live, they could just be travelling house to house for all we know."

The four held their breath, hoping that it was a convincing enough story and sounded innocent enough to make the police lay off them.

"Okay, I trust you, my good sir," the officer smiled, playfully punching Josh in the arm. He just gave him a small toothless smile without much expression.

The walkie talkie on the other's holster started to beep. He took it and answered the call. "We don't have time. Send the others."

"What was it?" His partner asked.

"There was another sighting of the arsonist," he answered. He'd just go batshit if he found out the people living in the apartment they were searching were personally friends with them, wouldn't he?

"Funny. I'd think that the arsonist was you," he said, gesturing towards Jack. Jack pointed at himself in confusion.

"How? Nothing about us looks anything alike."

"I'd think people like you wouldn't mind destroying structures and putting fear in people the same way the arsonist has. But, oh well, we're searching for a lady."

"Oh yeah? People like me?" Jack laughed sarcastically. "Buddy, I think people like you have put more fear in people than anyone in m-"

"Jack," Josh put a hand on his shoulder, which promptly caused Jack to calm down. Jack has heard those jokes before, about how he was the one setting buildings on fire, he's smacked someone in the face once about it. He couldn't do it to a cop.

"I guess our work here is done," the cop said, looking Jack dead in the eye. "We'll have to search for the two teens elsewhere."

"But they're fine," Josh told him. "As far as I know, they safe and healthy, so there's no need."

He laughed at him. "It doesn't matter with that large of a reward their parents have set on them. Have a nice night, fellas. But don't think you're off our radar. If we find out you've been lying, we'll have you all locked up. We'll be on the lookout for you."

The four made sure to keep an eye on them before they've completely left the apartment. Jack went to the window and watched them get into their car and drive off.

"Fuckers," he spoke to himself.

"It's usually so easy to drive off police officers when they're onto me, but god this was so stressful," Alex said. "What do we do? They're getting closer to finding them."

"We don't even know where they are." Vic said. "I'll have to call Jaime to send some people to search for them so we can keep them safe."

"Seriously? Jaime?" Jack sighed.

"Yes, Jaime. He's our best bet. I just trust him, okay? I know he's skilled and he has an entire company behind him to back him up," Vic explained. "You might not like him, but we need to use every resource we got to make sure they don't catch Kellin and Oli. You want them safe, don't you, Jack?"

Jack crossed his arms. "God, yes. Just make the call already." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👮


	34. ♥34♥

**(Oli's POV)**

We explained the entire experience to him, and he started to laugh by the end of it. It was confusing at first, but we started to laugh, too. How ridiculous was it that they couldn't even catch up to a couple teenage boys.

"You told them you were a couple?" Jaime asked, still amused. I nodded.

"Shit, they're gonna start telling everyone about that now," he said. He's right, maybe we shouldn't have said anything about that.

"If our parents find out, it shouldn't even matter," I told him calmly. "They won't find us anyways."

"And if they aren't even accepting and never put in the effort to be, they never really loved you," Jaime claimed. "You choose your family. You two have already done that, some people spend years without one."

It was a really touching thing to say. Kellin and I took a moment to process it before Jaime's phone began to ring in his pocket. He gestured at us to stay quiet.

"Oh hey... yeah, they're right here," he handed the phone over to us and murmured quietly. "It's for you."

We put the phone close enough to our ears so we could both hear. "Hello?"

"Kellin? Oli?"

It was Vic.

"Vic, hi! I'm sorry we left out of nowhere, we were just going on a walk. We'll be back in a lit-"

" _No!_ No, _don't_ come back."

We were surprised at the response, I felt a bit of a pang in my chest from hearing it. Why wouldn't they want us back? Jaime knit his eyebrows, concerned as well.

"Do you not want us anymore?" Kellin murmured, he was already teary-eyed.

"No, that's not..." Vic sighed, preparing himself to say what's next.

"That's not what I meant. They're onto us. A couple cops showed up at our front door about an hour ago. They _might_ have figured out we were housing you because I'm the one that signed you into school."

"Oh my god, really?" I gasped.

"Yes, really. It's good you left when you did, if you were still here they would've caught you."

My heart dropped to my stomach. It was official, we had put them in danger. "What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, they just left. I don't think they could find enough evidence that you both were ever actually housed here, but they seemed pretty adamant about painting us as awful people anyway."

There were murmured conversation behind the phone before someone else began to talk. "Just stay with Jaime. We trust him," Alex advised.

"What? No we don't," Jack said in the background

"He's the safest person they can stay with right now, shut up," he told him. "Anyways, keep yourself far away from the apartment while we figure out the situation. Jaime will protect you, he's good at sneaking around. That's literally his entire job. Stay safe, guys. Get a haircut, maybe."

Alex hung up the phone before we could say goodbye to him. Kellin and I looked at each other, worried and stressed over everything that had happened. Everything that we had caused.

"We can't go back," I told Jaime. "They might know we were staying at their house."

"It's okay. I'll just keep you here, I'll try to lure the police away from Vic's household. It'll be difficult, but I can figure it out."

Kellin and I made eye contact for a split second, because we knew that Jaime won't have to do that. We already had a plan. They'll never look for us again. 

💀💀💀

Kellin and I were given the guest room to sleep in. We whispered to each other about what building we'd set on fire and how we'd exit it, but we came to the conclusion that we won't be able to figure it out unless we choose a specific building, so we'll just continue planning in the morning.

Clearly the bed we went to sleep in was expensive, because it was the most comfortable one I've ever touched. Jaime must be loaded, even though he was living in a regular suburban house.

We put our clothes from last night back on, while it was a bit gross, we didn't really have any other options. We were ready to hustle and get to plan over and done with, we didn't want those we cared about to spend too long under all this stress.

"Hey kiddos," Jaime said to us when he saw us walk downstairs. "You can just spend the day chilling at home, I have a lounge room in the basement."

"Actually, we kind of wanted to leave and go for a walk, maybe," I told Jaime.

"No," he said outright. "Knowing the guys back at your home, you probably haven't heard that before, but right now it's not a good idea to let you leave the house."

"W-why?" I murmured.

"Obvious reasons, Oli. You may have lost the cops, but they might have announced that you are in the area after finding you. People are going to be on the lookout. It's just not safe."

"...okay."

"Good. I'll have you sent to one of my co-worker's house by tomorrow, but right now I'll get you guys lunch and I'll be off to work. I'll be back by 1AM."

"AM? You're working that long and leaving this early in the morning?"

"Morning? It's 3PM. You went to sleep pretty late, silly."

Guess I forgot the concept of time. Kellin and I spent a while organizing the whole plan a little better, but that's all we can do. We had to leave the house to finish it. We had to, there weren't any other options. We shouldn't let others deal with our problems themselves.

Jaime wasn't going to stop us. We always find a way to free ourselves.

We let him buy us lunch and he left the house an hour later. I wasn't going to pretend he wasn't right, it was unsafe to leave the house. But it'll be just fine if we find a way to hide our faces.

Kellin and I didn't have to spend much time searching around the house for masks, because we found a few right on top of Jaime's drawer. We took two black hoodies from his wardrobe for further anonymity and snatched the box of matches on the coffee table.

We also found a large container of gasoline in the garage and filled up four water bottles with it. The hoodies we had taken were rather oversized on us, but it was alright. Much better, even. It hid our faces quite well, and we found a paper grocery store bag to place the water bottles in.

It wasn't until 9PM when we left, since it'd be even more risky to go travelling in broad daylight. I was filled with anticipation for our plan to come through, and I was more than excited to free Kellin and I from the constant stress of knowing that we were being searched.

It's a beautiful evening. 


	35. ♥empire into ashes♥

It'll be a wonderful night.

Kellin and I traveled pretty far from Jaime's house, but made sure that we didn't stray completely away from the populated area of the city so the police would see us.

There were a few people walking by, but not many. We both settled on a tall building with an exit in the back and two more exits on the upper floors with stairs leading to the ground. There was an alleyway in the back, so we could free ourselves and hide through there.

I was sure that the building was abandoned, since there was dusty furniture inside it and no doors. The walls were run down and the carpeted floors were unkempt, you'd think it was haunted. If it was, I hope we free the souls trapped inside it by burning it down.

"Do we just... set fire to the area around the front door and run to the exit?" Kellin asked me.

"We could, but that's just not believable. They might be able to see us through the fire," I told him.

"Ohhh, I didn't think of that. So, we're leaving through the stairs?"

"Mhm," I told him, placing the grocery bag on the floor and putting on my ski mask. He took as it as an opportunity to do the same. I took a bottle of gasoline from the bag and showed it off. "Let's begin."

"Wanna die with me, Oli?"

"Any time."

I poured gas right in front of the door and spread a bit more around the room, then used the remaining amount right in front the staircase.

"I just realized this mask makes me look like I'm Nico."

"Isn't that the point?" I asked him. Even that was people's initial thought when they see us, we'll reveal ourselves anyway.

"Hey!" Someone called out from afar, I looked outside the doorframe and saw a group of civilians and policemen. Without warning, I heard a gunshot and a bullet flew right past my ear.

Kellin and I took off our masks and lit a match, throwing it on the ground and running up the stairs, knowing that it'd spread all around the first floor eventually.

"Did they just try to shoot us?"

"Good thing they missed. Let's keep going, let it spread a little further and we'll run off," I told Kellin.

As I led him to the next floor, fire was already blazing up the stairs, making it burn up and collapse. Things were going by much faster than we thought it would, dark smoke started to cloud the air and our vision. The fumes were heavy, making me cough violently until we made it to the top of the staircase.

The flames were already quickly approaching the floor we were on. I could feel the heat of the fire against my skin and even from a few stories up I hear wood burning up. Everything was all too much, it was like I could sense my own death from moments away.

Kellin clung onto my arm and looked around.

"This wasn't worth it," he told me.

On the next floor was the first door that lead to the ground. At this point, it didn't matter to me if we got caught. Our lives were on the line.

We started to run over to the exit, but before we could make it the fire on the floor below caused the floor in front of it to cave in. The collapsing ground was right were Kellin was standing, making him nearly fall into the fire. I quickly took his wrist and pulled him up. He was holding onto me, crying into my chest.

"We'll be okay, I promise," I heaved heavily, but I was lying. He could tell. "Where do we go?"

All we could do now was rush to the next floor.

💀💀💀

**(3rd POV)**

"And then he told me he thought I'd be you because I'm Middle Eastern!"

"Wow."

"I know. _Wow._ Some people just have the _audacity._ I can't believe it."

Nico was hanging out with their favorite four boyfriends, and apparently, they've all decided they were friends by then. They were all in a mostly barren area, since they didn't want people seeing them together after that whole incident.

It was a beautiful night outside, the sky was clear and there were only a few dark clouds. It wasn't that much of an inconvenience, though. They were having fun, chatting and laughing together.

Things felt so much better after they decided to get over all their tension, even if Alex was still working on forgiving them.

"I'm really sorry about all that, Jack. I didn't know they'd put their attention on you for that. You know, I'm part Lebanese too."

"Yeah, like twenty percent. You can't even tell. It doesn't count, you still wouldn't be as suspect as me."

"It does count! Still, I'm really sorry."

"You better be. You're lucky we look nothing alike, 'cause if we did I'd on the top of their suspect list, then they'd know your address by now. Can't let you put me in danger."

Nico laughed. "I think I know what building I'm gonna burn down next."

"No more burning things down, you're gonna be the most wanted in the country," Josh told them.

"Yeah, but... do you think it'll slow down the investigation on Kellin and Oli?"

They pondered the idea for a moment. Maybe it would. They need all the time they can get to figure out how to keep those two and themselves safe.

"I was actually thinking we could fake some photos," Vic suggested. "Maybe of them stealing a car or running out of the city so they'll think they aren't in town anymore."

"That'd be a good idea. Then we'll make them cut their hair. I swear, anyone could recognize those fringes anywhere," Josh said.

"I know, right? They'll have to change their sense of fashion, too. They won't like it, but it's for safety."

"Aw, then they won't have their way of self-expression anymore."

"There's no such thing as self-expression when you're being searched by the police."

From afar, there were the loud sounds of sirens. Bright red lights could be seen from around the corner, and what passed them was a large firetruck followed by a few police cars.

"A fire? You think it's a copycat criminal?" Nico asked the four. They looked over the corner and saw a police officer with his car in front of him, which made them immediately hide themself in fear.

"The two lost teenagers were seen inside the burning building. Officer Lower stated that he saw them throw on a match on the ground themselves, but it was hard to tell. Who in their right mind would do that? Surrounding the scene now."

Shit.

The rest of the group could hear the call loud and clear, they looked over the corner and saw the officer get into their car and drive off. Nico looked up at the sky and saw a glow that could even be seen past the tall buildings.

"Follow him," Jack said.

"No fucking way, they'll know we..." Alex trailed off, thinking to himself for a moment. "Yeah, let's go. We can't let them hurt themselves."

With no vehicle, the five started to run, following the car and the orange glow in the night sky.

💀💀💀

The building continued to burn, getting more destroyed and unstable by the minute. Any second now and it'll collapse in on itself.

The next staircase wasn't until the second to top floor, Kellin and Oli were rushing fast to get to it, but the larger the fire got, the quicker it spread. They were standing on unstable ground that shook and creaked with every step. Dark smoke continued to cloud the air, making the building more difficult to navigate.

Kellin and Oli's movements started to slow down as the fumes filled their lungs and their eyesight got worse. They were holding each other's hands as tightly as possible, even if the stress and danger of the situation made their palms sweaty.

They were holding on until Oli couldn't take it. He collapsed to the heated floor in a coughing fit, hand on his chest. Kellin quickly knelt beside him. "Oli, no!"

"Just go on without me," he croaked out in pain.

"I'm not going without you, we're so close, just get up! Please, I love you so much, I don't want to leave you here!"

"I love you, that's why... you need to run. I can't bring you down with me."

"I don't want it to end like this!" Kellin shouted in the midst of the sounds of crackling fire.

"Go!" Oli ordered with his slowly declining energy.

Kellin's tears fell atop of Oli's body as he brought his face closer to his, lips inching closer.

Before they could connect, the floor they were on collapsed, causing Oli to fall to the one below as Kellin scattered away from the area. Kellin couldn't see Oli on the floor below past the flames. 

Kellin hit the ground hard with his fist and screamed. His wail echoed in the room, but nobody could hear outside of the building. He was alone. All alone.

He fought his own emotions and forced himself back up to the feet and traveled up the stairs, he wasn't going to die. That's not what Oli would've wanted.

The floors below him was slowly engulfing themselves in flames, surrounding Oli's nearly unconscious body.

"Kellin?" He attempted to call out, but all that came out was a violent cough. Oli slowly worked himself up onto his knees, looking around at the fire around him. His tears slowly fell to the ground. There was no way out, this was the end.

He curled himself on the floor and sobbed. The fire got closer to his body, and he prepared himself for death.

He couldn't even hear the loud footsteps behind him through his cries.

"Dear lord, he's still alive! Get him to safety immediately. Look around for the other kid," an unfamiliar voice called out.

He looked behind himself and felt himself get picked up by a fireman. "You look terrible, son."

"... huh?" Oli managed to squeak out. He couldn't tell who was holding him through the smoke and his tears.

"Kel... Kellin?" He questioned.

"Do I look like that little boy to you?" The fireman humored. "Steve, bring this guy straight into an ambulance."

Oli was taken by someone else and brought to the ground by a ladder, he faintly could hear people cheering before everything went _black._

Kellin couldn't find the next plight of stairs through the smoke. He tried feeling around the walls, but to no avail. He himself began to weaken, and suddenly, he collapsed, but not on the floor.

"Oh my god, Kellin?" He heard a gasp. "Why did you set a building on fire, you idiot. That's my job!"

Kellin looked up and saw Nico's face. Immediately he wrapped his arms around them, holding them tightly. "I'm so scared. I'm so, _so_ scared."

"Calm down, we're gonna bring you home."

"Oli's dead, Nico. Oli's dead!" He screamed into their chest. Nico held their arms around him tighter. "He can't be..."

"I'm so stupid! I couldn't save him, I should've done something!"

Nico got to Kellin by rushing up the stairs that he was so desperately trying to travel to and going down a couple floors. The staircase to the next floor collapsed and the fire started to spread into the room the two were in. The firefighters didn't have a way up.

Nico cursed under their breath. "We're stuck."

"I don't even care about staying alive anymore," Kellin cried.

"No, no, no, don't say that. We'll find a way out, I..." Nico started to look around. Kellin collapsed to the floor on his knees, bringing them down with him. They couldn't even see two feet in front of themselves.

They continued to hold Kellin in their arms and scooted them both against the wall, furthest from the flames. "Kellin, stay with me. Come closer."

Kellin went closer to them and wept in the crook of their neck. "I'm scared."

"I know, me too. I'm scared, too."

They usually knew how to find their way out of situations like this, but not with the staircase gone. There were windows around them that they couldn't even jump out of because of how high up they were.

"It's Tyler," Nico said.

"Huh?"

"My names Tyler. I had to use a different name so no one could find out who I am, but... I thought I might as well tell you now."

Kellin looked up at them and wrapped his arms around them.

"Tyler..." he said to himself, a small smile formed on his face, but almost instantly fell back into a frown. "I never wanted it to end this way."

"Just hold on for a little longer, okay? We'll make it out alive. I promise."

"But you don't. You don't know if we'll get out of here, we're going to die!"

"Kellin, shh, shh," Tyler held his head under their chin, letting him cry into their arms. "You're going to be okay."

Kellin cried harder, letting the flames get closer to him and Tyler. The dark smoke filled both their lungs, causing him to cough the same way Oli was before he...

Oli.

He heaved, trying to breathe as much as he could, coughing and hacking violently onto the ground. There was barely any oxygen in the air. They both watched the floor above them start to collapse.

"I don't want to die..." Kellin croaked. "Not like this... not like..."

Kellin's eyes closed shut as he slipped into unconsciousness. 


	36. ♥all my fault♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry

"That's not possible, the fires started before these children were reported missing. Plus, they're both far too pale to match the description. This one in particular is taller and thinner. Don't arrest him."

"Close enough."

"Something tells me you care more about getting the arrest over and done with than actually bringing justice."

The voices were faint, but still enough to irritate my currently sensitive ears. I started to cough, sitting up on whatever cushioned surface I was laying on.

My eyes opened, and I saw a room with white walls and white tiles. I had an oxygen mask on my face, and I was laying on a hospital bed in a gown. A nurse stood beside me and the two people conversating were standing face to face a few feet away from my bed. It was a police officer and a tall man in a dress shirt and dress shoes.

"Oliver Sykes, was it?" The tall man asked, walking over to me and sitting in the chair that was right beside my bed.

"Ye-" I immediately started to cough before I could finish speaking.

"Easy there," he said, patting my back.

"I'll get him some water," the nurse said, walking out of the room. The police officer left with her, saying that he'll "give us privacy."

The man continued patting my back while I took another moment to clear my throat. "I'm Detective Mason."

I groaned. "Where's Kellin?"

"We'll tell you later, I'm here to investigate the case of the arso-"

"I _don't care_ , where's Kellin?" I cried out. I let out another cough, my mind flashing back to the fire and how my body ached after I fell through the floor. I remember I heard a scream...

Detective Mason didn't answer me. His eyes trailed to the ground and he shook his head. "Answer me."

"Kellin Bostwick was never found. We searched as much as we could, but merely moments after we saved you, the building collapsed."

I felt my whole body go cold and my hands began to shake. It was like I was paralyzed, I couldn't even think straight.

"Kellin... no..." I breathed out. My vision clouded out with tears and I started to cry. I buried my face in my hands, sobbing. Not him. Anyone but him, why couldn't it have been me? _It should've been me!_

"Oliver, I'm so sorry. Our team tried our best-"

"You're team is useless!" I shouted at him through my tears, my words echoed in the hospital room.

"They saved your life, Oliver."

"Not good enough... he was... he was in the room above me. Right above me, he was going to find a way out. Did he..."

Was he too late to escape before the building collapsed? We were close to the second staircase, I shouldn't have given up. Why did I give up? So fucking _stupid!_

I wanted to hope that he was free and found a way out, but doubts continued to fill my mind. He could be dead. I left him on his own to die.

"It's because of me," I sniffled.

"It's not, I promise."

"I lost the love of my life," I croaked out, breaking down in tears into the detective's arms. He awkwardly rubbed my back while I sobbed.

The door opened slightly, and I looked up to see the nurse. "You have a few... visitors."

"Who?"

Only a moment later, she was forcefully pushed aside. "Out of my way, bitch!"

"Mr. Barakat, that's no way to talk to hospital staff-"

"Hush!" He demanded, rushing to my side with the rest of the group. Vic, Josh, and Alex. I smiled at them all through my tears, they're the only people I wanted to see right now.

"Oh my god, Oli, you have a scar on your cheek. I'm so sorry we let this happen to you. Fuck."

"You have burns all over your neck, here," Josh said, inspecting the wound. "Ow."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have touched it."

"Hey, should we leave you five alone?" Detective Mason asked.

"Yeah, get out of here," Alex said. The detective rolled his eyes as he left and the nurse put my cup of water on the desk beside me before leaving as well.

Vic ran his fingers through my hair and pushed it behind my ear, revealing my whole face. "You poor baby. Why did you do it?"

"We..." I already found myself starting to choke up at the first word. _We._ I did all that with someone else, someone I let die. "Did Kellin ever come home?"

The room went silent. That's when I already knew the answer. I looked up at the four of them and wiped my eyes. Kellin didn't make it, he was already dead.

Alex went to sit on the bed right next to me, I scooted over to make room for him.

"Listen, we saw the whole thing. We brought..." He took a deep breath. "We brought Nico along, they kept telling us they needed to get into the building to save Kellin theirself, and even though we told them not to, they went in anyway."

I looked over at him and saw him cry, although he didn't stifle a single noise. "So, they're dead too?"

"We never saw either of them leave the building, nor have we gotten a contact telling us either of them were alive.. we don't know. They've put out the flames by now, and they haven't found their bodies," Josh explained.

"Do you... think they could've made it out?" I asked. The answer was obvious, though.

I started to sob as we started to huddle up together, comforting one another and crying silently, not saying a word.

I don't care what people say, I was the one that let this all happen. I could've told Kellin that we shouldn't have gone through with the plan. We shouldn't have ever burned down that building, if we didn't then Kellin wouldn't be dead. Nico wouldn't have been dead. I wouldn't have hurt the people I cared about.

I wouldn't have hurt myself.

"We thought if we faked our deaths then the police wouldn't search for us anymore or put you guys in danger. We were gonna exit through the staircase in the back and make them think we died in the fire."

In the end, I didn't help anyone. All I did was get caught, kill two people I cared about and put others in sorrow. "It all went wrong."

"Don't think about it, you'll drive yourself crazy," Vic told me.

"I kn-know but I j-just can't stop I..."

"Shh..." Vic hugged me. "You're going to be okay, we all will."

I looked at him and smiled, he grinned at me as well before breaking down.

The detective came into my room and asked me a few questions about Nico, but I never saw them. He asked the four about them too, and they were vague with all their answers, saying that they saw someone in a hoodie, joggers, and combat boots run into the building, but refused to say more.

The detective came to the conclusion that they started the fire and died in it, but he wouldn't be able to confirm it unless the amount of fires around town truly start to decline.

I said nothing.

He told us that they'll let the four off the hook from getting arrested for clearly housing me and Kellin, saying that it wasn't fair to put them in prison for simply giving us a home. I was grateful, knowing that despite everything, the four will be okay.

They stayed with me the rest of the day before my father was supposed to come to the hospital and pick me up the next morning. I needed more time to heal and rest.

We talked about everything except the fire, they wanted to keep the whole situation out of my mind so I could feel better, and it really did. I found so much comfort in my four 'parents,' and it made me want to cry knowing that I was going to separate from them.

I didn't want to be with my father. I wanted to live with them, they're the only ones except Kellin that made me feel like I could be myself. I wasn't ready to go back to my old life, the past months were the happiest I've ever been.

That night they hugged me goodbye, and I never hugged anyone tighter. I was in tears by the time they had they leave since I didn't want them to go. I just didn't. But they weren't allowed to stay overnight since they weren't family. It felt so cruel to be ripped away from the people I wanted to stay with.

I slept in that empty, lonely room with the oxygen mask on my face, breathing in what I couldn't get in the fire. The dark smoke that clouded my eyesight, that I had inhaled the same way Kellin did. It made me weak and collapse to the floor.

Everything about it was still so vivid, I could feel the fire against my skin, I could hear the sounds of crackling wood and everything around me falling apart.

If I thought hard enough, I could feel Kellin's breath against my lips before he almost kissed me for the last time. We never got to exchange that last, single kiss.

I cried myself to sleep, thinking back to the memories, longing for another hug from the four that had to leave. Or even better, just another kiss from Kellin.

_"Wanna die with me, Oli?"_

_"Any time."_

We didn't.

It's all my fault.

I woke up that morning somehow even more tired than yesterday and with easier breathing. The nurse came into my room and gave me my clothes that they had washed so it didn't smell like ash. I saw a few holes my hoodie from being burned, but it was only a small inconvenience.

Before putting the outfit on, I took a long drink of the water that was on my desk, it was stale and room temperature. Putting on that hoodie felt like I was being transported right back to the night of the fire. I can't think about it. I remembered what Vic said.

I finished getting my clothes back on and walked out of the hospital with a frown on my face. However, it jumped back up to a smile when I saw Jack, Josh, Alex, and Vic again.

I rushed over to them and they welcomed me in a group hug. "We wanted to see you one last time."

"So we can kidnap you," Jack whispered. I laughed.

"Please? I don't want to go home," I gave him little puppy dog eyes.

"Aww."

"I'm kidding, I don't want you guys getting in trouble. I'm really going to miss you all."

I comforted myself in the mere fact that I was in their presence. If my dad was okay with it, maybe I'll be able to visit them again. Or he could even let me stay with them the rest of the summer.

"I promise we'll see each other again, we love you, alright?" Josh told me.

"I love you guys, too."

In the corner of my eye, I saw someone storming into the hallway. I felt my heart drop. I didn't want him here already, not now.

"Oliver!"

The group backed away when they saw my dad walking towards me, he roughly grabbed onto my wrist.

"Woah, calm down," Alex told him. My dad gave him a dirty look. "Who are you?"

"Dad, it's okay, they're my friends."

"Get away from my son!" He shouted at them, causing a scene in the middle of the hospital. "We never caused any harm-"

"Stay away from him!" He yelled, forcefully dragging me by the arm away from them. "Dad, no-"

"When we get in the car, you are going to explain everything to me. Including who those strange men are."

"They aren't-"

"Shut up," he demanded, continuing to walk me out of the hospital. I already felt myself start to cry, I wanted nothing more than to stay here in this city.

On the way to the parking lot, I could see Jaime and Jo sitting on the bench right outside the hospital. I knit my eyebrows at them, wondering why they were here.

"Jaime?" I asked. He smiled and waved at me. If only I could talk to him. I wanted to say sorry for going against what he told us. He was right the whole time.

My dad forced me to walk faster and get away from the four that took care of me, but I couldn't help but keep my eyes on Jaime and Jo. Before they were out of my sight, I could see Jaime whisper something to Jo and text somebody on his phone.

I reluctantly got into my dad's car and we immediately started to drive off. He didn't say anything to me at first. In fact, he didn't say a single thing during most the drive. At least he turned on the radio, so I wouldn't be lost in my thoughts.

He didn't know everything that I did when I was gone or even what happened to Kellin. I was on my way back to the house that I tried to leave and the town I didn't belong in.


	37. ♥end: it's storming outside♥

We got to an area that I recognized, and that's when I knew we were only half an hour away from home. At this point, I didn't think I'd even consider it my home. My home was in the city I left.

Dad turned off the radio, which was alarming. I braced myself for his shouting, but he spoke at a regular volume. "Why did you run away? I thought I gave you everything."

I didn't know what to tell him besides, _'it wasn't enough,'_ or _'but you didn't.'_

"I wanted a new life, I guess," I told him. He shook his head.

"That's what every teenager wants, but they don't disappear from home and freak out the entire town. Everything felt so worried,"

I've noticed that my dad always tells me to think about how he must feel when I disappoint him, but I never cared. I just wanted to be my own person. It's what he said when I tried to pierce my own lip or failed a test.

In this case, I didn't care how the entire town felt when we disappeared. I'll bet that those same people were the ones calling me slurs and saying to themselves, _'what is wrong with that boy?'_

"I liked being away from home," I told him. Dad sighed.

"You may like it, but it's not what's best for you."

"How?" I asked him. He struggled to find an answer and decided to ignore my question.

"Who were those men?" He asked. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I couldn't find a house and they let me stay at theirs. They fed me and enrolled me into school, they're not bad people, Dad."

He bit his lip nervously. "Did they... did they do anything to you?"

"What? _No!_ I just told you, they aren't bad people. God, Dad," I responded irritably. He really had the nerve to ask that.

"I was... just checking," he told me. "Look at your neck, you've got burns all over it. How did you even end up in that building? Are you okay?"

"I don't know, it was unexpected. I'm fine, I just don't want to talk about it."

I crossed my arms and looked out the window, hoping that he wouldn't say anything else. I didn't want to talk to him about everything. I'd rather go back to my unfulfilling life like I never left it instead, since I had no other option.

"If there's anything I need to do to have you stay... I swear I'll do it. I just don't want you running away like that again. I love you, okay? I know I'm not usually this vulnerable, but I want what's best for you."

What's best for me has been forced away, and I'll never get it back again.

"Ok, Dad," I responded in a monotone voice. I was sick of being in this town already.

It was disheartening just seeing buildings I used to see every day before I ran away. It just reminded me that I was stuck here again. The house that I used to live in was only a couple minutes away.

There was still awkward silence the rest of the car ride, and finally we got back home. I looked around the house with no emotion. All I felt was unwelcoming familiarity with my surroundings.

I heard quick footsteps for a few seconds until I was suddenly hugged by my little brother. "Oli!"

"Hey, Tom," I greeted, smiling at him. I usually find him a little annoying, but he might be the only person back home I'd be okay with seeing.

"Where were you? I missed you so bad, you made me worried."

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to, I was just... in another city. Yeah."

He hugged me tightly for another long moment, it almost warmed my heart.

"Okay, Tom. Go back to your room, I have to talk to Oli about something."

I unwrapped my arms from him and stood up, confused as to what my dad's about to talk about. The amount of talking today has me exhausted.

"Will it be quick?"

"Maybe. It's a private matter."

Tom went back up the stairs and into his room while Dad sat me down at the kitchen table, then he sat down right next to me.

"I didn't know how to bring this up..." My dad said nervously. I raised an eyebrow at him with my arms crossed.

"Kellin's parents were so beaten up about his disappearance. They're the ones that set up the reward, since you know I couldn't afford all that money," he chuckled. I didn't return the same energy. My heart was already beating fast at the mention of Kellin. My eyes started to water up, and I looked away from Dad so he wouldn't see.

"You two... you ran away together," he shook his head and I saw his fingers fiddle at themselves as if he had just heard the worst news of his life.

I braced myself for the rest of what he had to say.

"I should've... I should've known. It was so obvious," his voice shook. It was. He just wanted to convince himself differently.

"I looked in your room and saw those little poems that you wrote for him and that he wrote for you... I thought it was just a joke at first."

"You looked around my room?" I asked him. I thought this whole process of coming out to him would be so easy after gaining so much confidence in my identity the past couple months, but I was shaking so bad. Why was I scared? I knew there's was nothing to be ashamed of, yet it was so hard to say it.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to find any evidence of where you could be but instead if found... _that..._ I have one right now," he confessed, putting a folded up piece of notebook paper right in front of me. It had little pink hearts drawn on it. I remember Kellin used a glitter pen for that. It was a poem he gave to me the second month we started dating.

I started to cry looking at it. I already remembered every little thing about that poem and how he compared my lips to rose petals. Most the nights I couldn't spend talking to him was spent reading over the poems he gave me.

I took the paper and opened it up. There was a little cartoon drawing of myself in the corner. I put it back on the table.

"Then there was a new report that they found you guys, and I was so happy to know that you were okay and alive, even though they didn't catch you. And... the police reported that you said you two were together... I didn't know how to react."

"Am I supposed to feel bad?" I grit through my teeth. After running away and the possibility that I could be dead, this is what he cares about? Why does it matter?

"No. You aren't. I was just so shaken up at first. Is it... true, Oli?"

"Oh my god, yes. I'm fucking gay, a poof. Is that all you wanted to hear? Was it not clear?" I slammed my hand on the table, knowing my voice must be loud enough for Tom to hear. It didn't matter to me. I didn't want to be reminded that I let my own boyfriend die just so my dad could cry about my sexuality.

Dad gulped down on seemingly nothing. "Kellin wasn't at the hospital and his parents hadn't gotten a call yet."

I wiped my eyes and tried to put myself together. I couldn't break down now, it wasn't worth it. Not in front of my dad.

"But when they find him, I... just want to let you know I'm fine with it. Your whole... thing."

Didn't seem like he was very fine with it. I nodded at him. Right now, all I cared about was getting through this conversation and going back to my room.

"Thing is, I don't think you should be telling people. Keep it a secret."

"Is that not what we've been doing?" I said quietly.

"I guess so, but my point is, Kellin's parents definitely don't want people knowing. It'd probably be bad for business, and don't act like _that_ either, it just wouldn't be good for you."

I wasn't even melancholic anymore. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "What?"

"I don't have bad intentions for this, I just don't want people knowing so you aren't ridiculed for it."

"Oh my _fucking_ god."

"I know you may be angry but-"

I stood up from the kitchen table and hit it hard with my fists. After those months of being able to be who I am without shame, I was being told to hide it. People were already homophobic towards me because of how I dressed, even without me telling them I was gay. What's the point!

"Even if you don't agree with that, think about Kellin's-"

"Dad, Kellin's fucking dead!" I shouted at his face.

He backed away from me in his chair, gasping in disbelief. I just wanted to scream, I wanted to rip his head off.

"No..."

"He... he died in the fire that I was in. We set the building on fire ourselves and I left him to die. I killed him!" I shouted out. I was crying hard again, feeling pain and sadness, but I also felt myself more furious than I ever have been. I didn't know I was even capable of such emotions.

"Oli, I..."

He didn't even know what to say. Good, because I didn't either.

I pushed the chair I was sitting at to the floor and ran upstairs into my bedroom, slamming the door hard enough to break it.

I jumped on my bed and punched the mattress, throwing my pillows to the ground and screaming into the blanket. I couldn't channel my emotions the right way, I wanted to die. I got up from my bed and looked around my bedroom. I didn't want to be here, it wasn't fair that I had to come back. This isn't what I wanted! _This isn't what I planned!_

I threw the lamp on my desk to the floor and looked at my full body mirror. I kicked it to the ground and saw the glass shatter all over the floor. Instinctively, I jumped on it and snapped the frame in half.

My breathing was heavy and I had lost all the energy to continue destroying everything in my room, no matter how badly I desired to. I dropped to the floor and curled up into a ball, sobbing on the cold ground. My mind just kept flashing back to the fire and my last moments with Kellin. I'm worthless.

I hadn't even noticed through my crying that it started raining. It was only noon, but the clouds made the sky gloomy. There were raindrops hitting my window and harsh wind blowing through the trees outside.

I shifted my position to where I was laying down on my back, staring up at my ceiling. I had a band poster taped up there. I stood up and jumped to reach the edge of it, ripping out the middle. My hands started ripping at it into small pieces until you couldn't even put the picture back together.

My eyes darted to my window and the sitting area right in front of it. I walked over there and sat down, looking out the window and the beautiful forest outside. I always loved that forest.

My life felt empty. Everything I had worked for was crashing down, what hope did I have left? There was nothing I could do to fix it. I'm broken.

The storm outside started to get heavier, and you could hear roaring thunder. I wonder if I tried hard enough, I could imagine Kellin climbing onto the roof and getting into my room through this very window.

But that won't happen now. I ruined my own life. I ruined everything.

I'll find a way to get out of here, further away than I had been in a while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO I FEEL SOO BAD FOR HIM DHSAJHJFS he'll be ok tho <3


	38. ♥epilogue: home♥

A subtle beeping noise was the first thing I heard when I woke up.

My head was on a comfortable pillow with a fluffy blanket draped over my body. My eyes fluttered open until I saw a room that I didn't recognize. Looking down at my body, I realized there was an oxygen mask strapped on my face. Next to me was a heart rate monitor; it must be what the beeping noise is from.

The last thing I remembered was being held in someone's arms while fire spread through the room and smoke filled my lungs. Tyler, their name is Tyler.

This place didn't look like the usual hospital rooms that I've been in before. The interior of it was too home-y, the beddings were far too expensive, and I heard no nurses or doctors outside. Was I even in a hospital?

I coughed into my mask and sat up on the bed, I just felt so frail and weak. It was like I had been asleep for days. I put a hand on my neck and felt healed up scar tissue. I must've burned myself during the fire.

The fire. I remember now. I set a building on fire with Oli and... oh Oli. Where was he?

"Oli!" I called out. Pieces of my memory started to place itself back together. He collapsed on the ground in the middle of the fire and fell through the floor. I should've done something.

I left him to die. I killed him.

There was a stinging pain that went through my throat to my stomach, and my eyes to fill themselves with tears. What have I done?

Oli...

I could still vividly imagine how I screamed and all the hopelessness I felt when I watched him fall to his death. I couldn't do anything, but I had to keep myself alive, that's what he would've wanted.

When Tyler was holding me in their arms while the room filled up with fire, I thought it was the end. I was bracing myself for the end of my life, but then... I woke up here. I'm alive. I did it, he'd be so happy if he knew. If only I could've gotten that last kiss.

I began to choke up and break down. I didn't know where I was or how I got here, but I just wanted to lay down. That wasn't it, I wanted to be held in Oli's arms and lay beside him. If I jumped down to pick him up, would he still be alive now?

I buried my head under the blanket and took the pillow under my head to cuddle it. It'll never be as good as Oli himself. I'm worthless.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I didn't think there'd be anyone in the building with me. "Who is it?"

The door slowly creaked open. I could see a man with tan skin, dark brown almond eyes and dark brown hair. "You're finally awake."

It was Jaime. He was holding a glass of water and a bowl of fruit, wearing a welcoming smile on his face.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"A week."

"Oh..." I responded. I couldn't believe that it's been that long, it makes me wonder what things could have happened while I was out.

Jaime gently removed my oxygen mask and put the glass of water to my lips, slowly pouring it down until I've finished half the glass. "Why'd you two set a building on fire?"

"To fake our deaths," I confessed to him. He chuckled.

"Well, you definitely succeeded. Everyone thinks you're dead. Good job."

"Everyone?" I asked him.

"Not everyone, of course. Just the general public. Tyler knows you're alive, they're the one that carried you out that building. They're kind of badass, right?"

"Holy shit," I laughed lightly.

"I know," Jaime grinned. "They're okay, too. Don't worry."

It's like they could survive basically anything. It was hard to comprehend, but I didn't spent too long thinking about it. I took the glass of water and to have another long sip. "Have the fruit too."

"Why'd you bring me fruit?"

"Um, it's healthy," he responded sassily. I shrugged, taking the bowl and eating what he's given me. He watched me for a moment.

"I heard you yell out Oli's name," he commented. I put down the bowl and sighed. "Yeah..."

"He's still alive," Jaime informed. My heart dropped and I gasped.

"Wh-what? He's still alive? Where is he, can you bring him here?" I lifted myself off the bed before Jaime sat me back down.

"His dad drove him back home a few days ago. You weren't awake yet, I'm sorry."

"No! You _have_ to call him or something. Bring him back here!" I begged, shaking his shoulder.

"Kellin, calm down. He'll be fine, but we shouldn't contact him now, we can't have people knowing that you're alive. We'll have to cut your hair and change your name so you aren't found again. You do want to stay here, right?"

"I do, but... Oli..."

Jaime pat my hair and hugged me, he felt so comforting. My tears started to dry up before out of nowhere, the door swung open. I looked up and saw _them._ "Tyler!"

"Kellin!" They rushed over to me and jumped right on the bed and joined in on the hug. They kissed my temple before letting go of me. "I knew you'd pull through! I'm so happy you're awake."

"Me too," I responded. Tyler brushed their fingers through my hair and looked at my face. "Have you been crying?"

"Yeah..." I murmured. "I want to see Oli... and... he doesn't know I'm alive."

"I'm sure he's totally okay! Don't worry about it," Tyler smiled patiently. "You get to live here now."

"I don't know if it's safe."

"It is, you'll be protected as long as you're here with me, Jaime, and the company. We'll reunite you with Oli when the time is right, okay?" Tyler told me. They spoke so softly, I trusted what they said, but I still felt nervous and unsure. "What will I do now?"

"Don't ask so many questions, all that matters is that you're with us now. We'll do wonderful things together, I promise."

Tyler put a strand of hair behind my ear. "Get up, we're taking you home."

Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii!
> 
> it'd be such a bad ending if we stopped the story here. there should be a sequel to this story coming out eventually but first i gotta work on a couple other story ideas i have, i literally am so bad at writing multiple stories at once, i dunno how some people do it, so there aren't others uploaded right now D:
> 
> i'll post another chapter for it when the sequel comes out. see you then! ✈️


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